64 Self-Care Ideas for Grievers

Litsa and I are pretty big on the importance of self-care.  Well, we talk a big game at least. When it comes to practicing self-care we’re kind of awful.  It’s like flossing, we know we should but who has the time?!?  We recognize that many of you are like us – overstressed, overworked, overtired and underpaid (yes…that’s right…we write this blog for funsies).  Which is why we prefer to look at self-care in as realistic a way as possible, favoring ideas and activities that are easy and accessible.

 64 Self-Care Ideas for Grievers

1.  Take a walk:  Hike in the woods, on a local nature trail, or around the neighborhood.  The exercise will do you good and you never know what you’ll see or who you’ll meet.

2.  Take a nap:  The National Sleep Foundation says a short nap of 20-30 minutes can help to improve mood, alertness and performance.

3.  Smile:  Did you know the simple act of smiling (even without a reason) can make you feel happy? 

4.  Read:  A 2009 study showed that it took participants only six minutes to relax once they started reading.  For the purposes of stress relief, we suggest you forgo info heavy texts for a good novel, spiritual/religious reads, or self-help books.

5.  Play: What is play?  It’s any purposeless kind of fun.  

6.  Get a few minutes of fresh air and sunlight.

7.  Have a good cry: Supposedly stress-related tears help the body rid itself of nasty cortisol (aka the stress hormone) raising chemicals.

8.  Engage in a game or activity that requires focus:  I just completed a 1000 piece puzzle so I must warn you, while it was incredibly soothing I also forgot to do laundry, feed my children, or change out of my sweatpants until it’s completion four days later.  For something a little less time consuming, try your paper’s daily Crossword or Sudoku.

9.  Practice patience.  

10.  Practice forgiveness. 

11.  Practice kindness.

12.  Practice gratitude.

gratitude 23

 

13.  Plan a night out with a friends: Go to your favorite restaurant, see a show, or attend a sporting event.

14.  Establish a better work/life balance:  Here’s how to stop work overload with a few simple boundaries.

15.  Listen to your favorite music playlist:  Music can have a positive impact on both our physical and emotional health, from reducing the perceived intensity of pain to relieving symptoms of depression.  

16.  Go somewhere that makes you feel at ease: My spot is Barnes and Noble.

17.  Spring clean: Here’s advice on selling and donating items in your ‘give away’ pile.

18.  Take stock of your support system: Who can you count on and how?

19.  Look through old photographs.

20.  Have one-on-one time with your children (that means one child at a time).

21.  Make out:  Apparently kissing boosts immunity, burns calories, and relaxes you.  Yeah!

22.  Okay so ‘no’ to making out.  Why don’t you try cuddling instead?:  Cuddling reduces stress and makes you feel happy!  Equal opportunity cuddlers can snuggle up with a mate, child, or pup.

23.  See a movie:  My favorite grief relief activity.

24.  Watch funny YouTube videos.  Yes…seriously.

25.  Watch other videos on YouTube.

26.  Read our posts about watching videos on YouTube.

27.  Plan a weekend getaway.

28.  Adopt a pet.

29.  Treat yourself to a day of relaxation: Not a fan of the spa?  Relax at home.  

30.  Try a new hobby:

31.  Make your annual doctors and dentist appointments (I know groan, but good health is a part of good self-care).

32.  Cross something off of your bucket list: Don’t have a bucket list?  Create one here.

33.  Get into an exercise routine: I don’t need to espouse the benefits of exercise because you already know.

34.  Cut back on your alcohol intake.

35.  Be creative.

36.  Join a support group:  Among other benefits, support groups can help you gain a sense of empowerment and feel less lonely.

37.  Seek online grief support (the fact that you’re here means you’re on the right track).

38.  Make a plan to start eating healthy.

39.  Then go eat a piece of chocolate and pour yourself a cup of coffee.

40.  Get on the floor and play with your kids (or pet).

41.  Find a quiet place where you can be alone with your thoughts.

Self-Care tactic #752: Lock yourself in the closet until everyone goes away.

42.  Better yet, try a warm shower or a bubble bath.

43.  See a counselor or therapist.

44.  Visit your place of worship and spend time in prayer.

45.  Join a club or group of any kind: There is benefit in joining any group that gathers around something you like – camera clubs, choirs, widower happy hours, etc.

46.  Volunteer your time.

47.  Don’t let things hang over your head: Either do them or choose to not let not getting them done stress you out. For the proactive: Check things off your list with this ‘Get Off Your Ass Manifesto’.

48.  Sing at the top of your lungs: Research has shown that singing is like a tranquilizer that both soothes your nerves and makes you feel happy.

49.  Or I guess you could just dance with reckless abandon.

50.  Open your windows.

51.  Allow yourself a day of unapologetic sulking.

52.  Retail Therapy!!!  Is it real??  Pssh…who cares? Time Magazine says it is, though.

53.  Sttttrrreeeetttccchhhh:  Here’s a guide to 10 basic stretches.

54.  Comfort someone in their time of need.

55.  Spend time in a place where you feel close to your deceased loved one(s).

56.  Play a sport: Play by yourself or join an adult sports league.

57.  Take a yoga class.

58.  Find ways to make your work day healthier.

59.  Phone an old friend.

60.  Throw your plans out the window and spend a few days schedule-free.

61.  Practice deep breathing.

62.  Go for a drive.

63.  Limit the time you spend on the Internet and Social Media.

64.  Subscribe to ‘What’s Your Grief’ and then turn off your computer.

Yeah, you heard me.  

March 28, 2017

15 responses on "64 Self-Care Ideas for Grievers"

  1. Thank you for this article!
    Not only did my mom unexpectedly pass away- three weeks prior my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. I thought I was nuts feeling like this, the article is bang on with descriptions, it validates how I am feeling. So much brain fog – I call it scrambled most days, my body feels like a truck ran over it, my arms feel like lead and I am a slug most of the time. I am doing most of the suggested treatments, massage, acupuncture, counseling and flotation therapy. Lets pray we all get through this in good time.

  2. major depressed at the moment, my ma has had a stroke and has lost he speech, she loved singing, now that’s all gone, she is also can not walk, the hardest thing of it all, is that she now has no movement and no speech, caged , when she looks at me , she sheds tears and can not tell me how or what she is thinking and Its worst than death by a million times. trapped. right now I hate this life,
    she is 88 and yes its a grand old age, and yes I know we all die, but that’s doesn’t make me feel any better, to me my ma was the greatest woman who ever walked the earth, but any son would say that. I should be grateful we have had some amazing times together, but I just can not see them right now.
    there are lots of lovely stories on this website, and I hate to be the negative one.
    l wish you all well.

  3. I lost my lover and best friend yesterday morning. He dropped dead at my feet while bridling one of his horses. He was everything to me. People are telling me that he was lucky cause he was somewhere that he was happy and he was with his best friend. I miss him so much. I hope that everyone has the honorary of knowing someone that has those qualities

  4. Can you send me this article on all these ways to cope and face grief ?
    Please and thank you

  5. Solange Milan, LMFT, DAPAFebruary 20, 2016 at 10:50 amReply

    Dear Juliette ~

    This tribute to your mother is SO beautiful – bursting with the joys of living that she manifested and taught others. You are fortunate to have had her and I sense too that she appreciated who you are and how you were with her. Your descriptions brought her to us readers as Inspiration to live and love fully.

    I am sharing this site & especially your beautiful tribute with my clients (I’m a licensed psychotherapist) to pass on the inspiration that you gave all of us.
    Take gentle & loving care of yourself, please.

    Thank you so much!

  6. Hello, I lost my mother 4 months ago. We were very close, confidents and good friends. I took care of her for more than 15 years and I spent 6 months of the year visiting her far away from the USA, staying 2 to 3 months at a time. She was ill but not terminally ill. She died all of the sudden in my arms. I tried to resuscitate her with CPR despite the nurse being there but she was frozen in shock and I could not bring her back to life. The traumatic event and also seeing her being cremated and I was not aware she was being cremated because I was in shock it has been more than I could take and since then I am not being here, it is very traumatic feeling and not feeling and harder to explain to people who expect me to grow up from grief because I am in my 60´ s and my mom was 97 and of course she could not live forever but there is longevity in my family up to 110 years of age and she died and is in heaven blabla bla. People meaning well makes me sick. I am surrounded but her memory, she lived an admirable life, was very happy, she was pampered by all, was very strong lady, survived many loses with grace, grew old and wise, was vain and loved clothes and purses and shoes, took very good care of herself. At her age she had all her teeth. She had an incredible memory for events and conversations. She memorized all the telephones. She played the piano. She could cook and she could paint and do ceramics and all kind of crafts. She could shoot a gun. She rode horses. She was very active with communities and volunteered her time and gave classes and lessons to everybody. She liked to share knowledge. She liked to make her own Christmas gifts. She knew how to embroider and sew, and knit and paint in fabric. She helped all the family members. She was up to date with the news. She was marvelous. Most of all she was a wonderful wife, family member and the best mother anyone can have. She encouraged me, protected me, advised me. I am who I am because of her. I owe all I am to my mother. It is difficult to live without her. I can´t function anymore. I feel like a squeezed up lemon.

  7. I lost my daughter in 2011..she was 19..I’m steal grieving and it still do sent seem real..I have a lot of love and support from friends and family. .I love the ideas you have and 8th all makes since. .I’ve done a lot of these things you suggested and they help and are important to do ..just not over the yet but thank you this is helpful to know..it’s overwhelming to lose a child.

    • Kim, I’m sorry for your loss. It makes sense to me that you would still be grieving. I’m sure it is so terribly overwhelming. One day, one hour, one minute, one breath at a time…right?

  8. Think, measure reward vs consequences and act. my simple way to live

  9. Just revisited this amazing post; and #49 [reckless abandon dance] made me smile out loud. You two are the coolest. Thank you for keeping it real.

  10. I LOVE this list – thank you so much for sharing. #15 and #61 really helped me after I lost my father and my young husband. Six years on and I’m now getting the hang of #14.

    Thanks for being a bright spot on my day!

    Aimee

  11. Ahhh Peggy thank you so much! “Just the way a good friend would be” = the best compliment we’ve ever received on this blog. I’m really glad to hear the blog has been of some help and support to you. Also, I’m sorry about your father’s death. I’m sure this last week has been emotional and hectic so I really hope something on that list motivates you to take some time for yourself.

    Sincerely,
    Eleanor

  12. Eleanor, I have long loved and appreciated WYG, but never more than now….my father died last week (easily and peacefully in his own bed, with people who cared dearly for him, not attached to a bunch of machines, at the ripe old age of 93. It doesn’t get much better than that), and your self-care ideas will probably be printed out and put on my bulletin board for reference!

    Your supportive, realistic (#38 & #39), good advice full of understanding and writing style hit just the right tone, making all this just a little bit easier to navigate. So many great ideas and reminders, and no judgement if I don’t “get it right” the first time around. Just the way a good friend would be.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
    Peggy

  13. This is fantastic! I never would’ve thought there were that many!

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