People mean well (usually), but sometimes well-wishers choose the worst possible things to say after a death. So many of the commonly used platitudes aimed at providing comfort actually have the opposite effect by minimizing a person's grief. Please allow me to literally illustrate my point for all you non-believers.
1. "Don't cry" or " You have to be strong now".
2. "God never gives us more than we can handle.
3. She's in a better place now.
4. "At least he lived a long life."
5. "It was God's will." or "God has a plan."
It's no wonder grievers sometimes learn to brace themselves whenever they see a sympathetic head-tilt approaching. For those hoping to support a grieving friend or family member, we have a ton of advice on offering thoughtful support here. We've also create an eGuide for supporting a griever which you can find in the What's Your Grief Store.
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After writing online articles for What’s Your Grief
for over a decade, we finally wrote a tangible,
What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss is for people experiencing any type of loss. This book discusses some of the most common grief experiences and breaks down psychological concepts to help you understand your thoughts and emotions. It also shares useful coping tools, and helps the reader reflect on their unique relationship with grief and loss.
You can find What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss wherever you buy books: