17 Posts to Help You Cope With Mother's Day Grief
/ Holidays and Special Days : Eleanor Haley
We've written quite a few posts related to Mother's Day. I guess because Mother's Day relentlessly happens once or year and because my mother died ten years ago; I'm a mother myself; and we meet a lot of awesome women who want to contribute their thoughts on loss, mothering, and motherless mothering. Although we still haven't covered it all (give us about ten more years!), we have quite a few posts in our Mother's Day grief library that we want to highlight for those of you struggling to cope with this upcoming Sunday.
17 Posts to Help You Cope with Mother's Day Grief
1. Mother's Day Grief: Life Without a Mother's Love
2. Spending Mother's Day with Ghosts: Mother's Day Grief
3. A Letter to My Daughters: Mother's Day After a Death
4. Lessons My Mother Never Taught Me
5. Making Time for Grief During Pregnancy
6. Sharing Memories on Mother's Day
7. Grieving the Death of a Grandparent
8. Coping with Pregnancy Loss: One Mother's Perspective
9. Meaningful Grieving After Pregnancy Loss
10. The Grief Wall: Loss of Identity After Stillbirth
11. Reflections on 'Mother'
12. A Cure for the Mother's Day Blues
13. Parenting While Grieving
14. Dear Daughter: Mourning Lost Memories
15. Ongoing Relationships with Those Who Have Died
16. A Mother's Chorus: Grieving a Child on Mother's Day
17. I am Still Your Daughter...You Are Still my Mother
Bonus: eCourse: Managing Grief on Holidays and Special Days
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Stacy May 3, 2021 at 11:52 pm
There is also the grief of never having been able to be a mother. I desperately wanted children, but have never been able to have them, and was never pregnant. That grief has turned my world upside down. I feel like I am floundering all the time.
Susan May 10, 2019 at 5:56 pm
What about single woman who never married and don’t have children. I’m almost 48, single, never married, and go through Mother’s Day each year with barren arms mourning something I’ve longed for. My family is not very healthy mentally, so that has not been a place of support.
Jeanne March 8, 2021 at 1:32 pm
Your grief is called disenfranchised grief …. a loss that is not acknowledged by society ; loss of a dream that never happed for you . I suffer from same loss of non-grandparenthood. My kids are like you , divorced or never married . Very hard to cope, with lots of triggers like this holiday . Try gratitude counting , but don’t diminish your loss; it’s tough.
Kerry May 10, 2019 at 3:01 am
This is a beautiful piece. This is my 2nd round of holidays with my son who was “healed in Heaven” from testicular cancer in June 2017. Much of what you said here is what I long for, yet no one asks me how I’m doing, or talks about my son.
I try, in many ways, but am so alone in my grief, guilt, pain.
Bonnie Lee Grablow Camp May 5, 2018 at 5:47 am
Losing my mom at 6 years was a huge loss of identity for me. People would say “you look just like, or your mannerisms are just like, but I never knew whether to accept these comments and really own them or not because I couldn’t remember. At 6 years or even 12, did I really look like her? Did I really like the same things she did? I was told she could sew a new dress in a day…that gene definitely skipped over me. I can’t even find the on switch on a sewing machine. They told me “she would give you the shirt off of her back”. Was that something to aspire to?
Bonnie Lee Grablow Camp May 5, 2018 at 5:47 am
Losing my mom at 6 years was a huge loss of identity for me. People would say “you look just like, or your mannerisms are just like, but I never knew whether to accept these comments and really own them or not because I couldn’t remember. At 6 years or even 12, did I really look like her? Did I really like the same things she did? I was told she could sew a new dress in a day…that gene definitely skipped over me. I can’t even find the on switch on a sewing machine. They told me “she would give you the shirt off of her back”. Was that something to aspire to?
Melody May 7, 2016 at 1:24 am
Hmmmmm……what about the mothers who have lost their children? Who will be there to honor those mothers?
Litsa May 7, 2016 at 7:35 pm
As we have hoped before and will hope again, it is on each of us to reach out to those in pain on Mother’s Day and everyday. This past Sunday was Bereaved Mother’s Day (which takes place annually the Sunday before Mother’s Day) but that of course doesn’t change how hard Mother’s Day itself is for bereaved mothers. Thankfully there are a huge number of organizations that specialize in supporting bereaved mothers (and parents) all year and especially at Mother’s Day. A few that come to mind, if you or others are not familiar with them, are The Compassionate Friends, Bereaved Mothers Retreat, Still Standing, Bereaved Parents USA, and Grieve Out Loud. There are many more, so I encourage you or others to share to help spread awareness about these outstanding groups.
Bonnita Spikes May 5, 2016 at 7:11 pm
I like this how do I join?
Parents died. Husband murdered. loss brother & dad to heart failure. morher to Renael Disease?
Eleanor May 5, 2016 at 9:38 pm
Hey Bonnita,
We packed a lot into this post! What is it that you are interested in joining specifically?
Eleanor
Sylvia Corbit May 5, 2016 at 9:51 am
Not sure if any of these would work for this part of mother’s day : someone has a mom who while alive has dementia. …so she doesn’t even know him anymore. I lost my mom suddenly and can’t relate well.. but he is pretty upset right now. .maybe this is why?
Eleanor May 5, 2016 at 12:28 pm
Hey Sylvia,
Perhaps this article on ambiguous grief would resonate with your friend. Ambiguous grief is when someone is still alive but changed and you grieve the loss of the person they were before their illness or change.
Just a thought 🙂
Eleanor
Sylvia Corbit May 5, 2016 at 7:36 pm
Thanks. ..I think you are correct. I read thru it and the comments…my sister also suffered thru this ambiguous grief when one of her adult children decided the family was not good enough to associate with. ..I didn’t know what to say or do for her, but luckily did say, and she did go , get counseling. Thank God for them!