If
/ Photogrief : Eleanor Haley
This essay is a part of WYG's PhotoGrief project. The goal of the PhotoGrief project is to create a space where people can explore and express their grief through pictures. Learn more about the project here.
by Carm Russell
Many things ran through my mind when I chose this title, including "what if's". It all goes back to our first few dates when David sang the song 'If' by Bread to me. And when we got engaged 3 months later and married almost a year to the day after that the song was part of ceremony. To me, it's both a love song and end of life song.
The lyrics are so beautiful...
"If a picture paints a thousand words
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show
The you I've come to know
If a face could launch a thousand ships
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you
You're all that's left me too
And when my love for life is running dry
You come and pour yourself on me
If a man could be two places at one time
I'd be with you
Tomorrow and today
Beside you all the way
If the world should stop revolving
Spinning slowly down to die
I'd spend the end with you
And when the world was through
Then one by one the stars would all go out
Then you and I would simply fly away."
The photo above was the last photograph taken of me and my husband before he passed on February 14th, 2014.
We invite you to share your experiences, questions, and resource suggestions with the WYG community in the discussion section below.
We wrote a book!
After writing online articles for What’s Your Grief
for over a decade, we finally wrote a tangible,
real-life book!
What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss is for people experiencing any type of loss. This book discusses some of the most common grief experiences and breaks down psychological concepts to help you understand your thoughts and emotions. It also shares useful coping tools, and helps the reader reflect on their unique relationship with grief and loss.
You can find What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss wherever you buy books:
Mary G October 4, 2015 at 3:23 am
Very heartwarming and beautiful and I thank you so much for sharing
Jacquelyn August 28, 2015 at 7:56 pm
People tell me they keep seeing men who look just like their departed husbands in the street, in stores, wherever, but in the 9 months since my man has been gone I have never had this experience. Until I looked at the picture of you and your husband; David looks so much like my Tom, including the beautiful mustache and beard. The song lyrics are truly beautiful and full of meaning. I find comfort and hope in knowing that one day we will simply fly away and be reunited with them for eternity; I hope you do, too.