Grieving the Death of a Grandparent

Understanding Grief Understanding Grief : Eleanor Haley

You will likely experience the death of at least one grandparent in your lifetime and, when you do, it may cause intense pain and heartache. Although your grief will ultimately be unique to you and to the relationship you had with your grandparent, in the following article we will discuss a few of challenges common to grieving the death of a grandparent.

1. This may be your first experience with death.

On average, there are about 47+ years between grandparent and grandchild.  With such an age difference, many people experience the death of at least one of their grandparents in childhood or early adulthood and for many, this will be their first experience with loss. Experiencing the death of a loved one for the first time can be confusing and scary and can lead to questions about death, death related rituals, and grief. Although grief is always individual, age can influence a person’s understanding and response to loss.  If you’re worried about a bereaved child or young adult check out the following posts:

If you are a young adult who’s recently experienced a death of any kind, check out the post: How do I find support as a grieving 20-something?

2. Your parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, and cousins might be grieving as well.

The death of any family member can have an impact on the family as a whole.  A grandparent’s death is often felt very deeply by many members of your family. Depending on the circumstances, you may feel as though you have to prioritize the needs of others in your family before attending to your own grief and wellbeing.

There is a proverb that says “Grief divided is made lighter”.  Personally, I think the word “divided” is a little misleading because I don’t think the proverb is meant to imply that anyone’s grief is any less. Rather I think it means that when we all grieve together – when we share our sadnesses, our fears, and our joyful memories –  we are ultimately able to give and receive more support and comfort than if we were to grieve alone.

It would be ideal if all families could grieve together, however, we know that they often do not. Heightened emotion, grieving styles, misunderstandings, even fighting can make it hard for people to (1) support one another and (2) attend to their own needs. Also, your parent’s generation may set the tone for how they want your grandparent’s death acknowledged and grieved, which may be different from how you would like to cope. If any of this is true for you, you may have to work extra hard to balance your needs with the needs of others.


3.  Your grandparent might have been more like a parent.

Families differ in their closeness, hierarchy, proximity, relationships, and overall dynamics. With such differences, grandparent/grandchild relationships obviously run the spectrum from ‘you-are-like-a-parent-to-me’ type relationships to ‘see-you-next-Christmas’ type relationships.

Many grandchildren have very close relationships with their grandparents and rely on them for a number of their social, emotional, or physical needs.  When a close grandparent dies, the grandchild often feels like they’ve lost someone akin to a parent which is intensely painful and can cause many difficult secondary losses.

4.  You may wish you had known your grandparent better.

Conversely, just because someone didn’t have a parent-like relationship with their grandparent, doesn’t mean their loss isn’t significant.  Perhaps they love their grandparent dearly but never felt they had the opportunity to spend as much time with them as they would have liked.  Some grandchildren lose their grandparent well before they are old enough to have a deep and mature relationship with them.  When a grandparent dies, some people may be left with regret about unanswered questions and things left unsaid, as well as wishes about how they think the relationship “could have” or “should have” been.

5.  Your grandparent might have been the glue that held the family together.

Often times, family members consider the eldest family member to be the patriarch or matriarch of the family.  This person may seem like the family’s foundation and when they die the entire family becomes fractured and untethered.  There are breakdowns in communication, no one knows who should host Thanksgiving, and people start wondering if maybe they should skip the annual family reunion because it just won’t be the same.

6. People may minimize your loss.

After the death of a loved one, people often long for others to recognize and acknowledge their pain.  The person who has died is important and loved. So when someone minimizes your loss it feels like they are undermining the person’s significance and taking away your right to feel pain.

People minimize losses for a handful of reasons.  Some may assume your loss isn’t significant based on their belief that it is the expected, natural order for grandparents to die first.  Some may make judgments based on their subjective experience that grandparents are distant, non-nuclear relatives. While some may realize how much pain you are in, but offer the wrong words of comfort.  For example, maybe you’ve heard this one…

long life

This is something people love to say about grandparents, I guess because it’s often true. It’s not that helpful in grief, though, because being reminded of a person’s age does nothing to ease the pain caused by their absence.  There is never a point where you sit back and say – “I think we’ve spent enough time together.  Yes, I have plenty of memories in my grandpa memory bank, so I’m okay with losing you now.”

Just remember, your grief is a reflection of your unique relationship with your grandparent and your individual ability to cope with this loss.  You, and only you know how much pain you are in and how this loss ought to be grieved.death of grandparent

This list isn’t even close to being all-inclusive, what do you have to add? Leave a comment and tell us about your experience grieving the death of a grandparent.

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183 Comments on "Grieving the Death of a Grandparent"

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  1. Jordan  August 28, 2017 at 9:21 pm Reply

    Thank you. This helped me so much. It’s been 6 days since my Grandpa passed & here i am googling ways to cope because at this point I don’t know what else to do. Grieving heavily and heartbroken to say the least. I especially liked how you basically said even if they lived a long life, it still does not make their absence any easier or give a peace of mind. They’re still gone. And we’re never ready to lose a love one no matter their age. Thank you for sharing.

    • Liv  February 17, 2018 at 6:14 pm Reply

      I am the exact same. My grandad passed away yesterday and my heart is broken. Thank you for sharing. I hope you are coping better <3

  2. Tracy  September 8, 2017 at 10:31 am Reply

    My nana just passed away and I am devastated. She was 96 years old and at almost 31, I still don’t feel like I had enough time with her. She was an amazing lady who lived through so much. I will miss her for the rest of my life.

  3. M  October 10, 2017 at 2:47 am Reply

    My grandmother recently died in june and I’m just a teen. Every once in a while I’m caught sitting up and thinking about how I lost her and eventually end up sobbing and running to my parents or sitting outside under the stars to calm me down- even if it’s nearly 2 am on a school night. It hurts my heart that I didn’t have that much time with her. I feel as if I should have been able to spend more time with her- even if I was the one who DID spend the most time with her out of both of my siblings. I was close to her and vise versa. Anyways- my point is that tonight was one of those nights where I couldn’t control my sadness and grief so I decided that I needed to find some comfort in words of other people and from sources like the internet. Thank you for this article- it’s helped a bit.

  4. Sophie  October 11, 2017 at 7:33 am Reply

    I lost my grandmother today and it’s hitting me very hard… I’m only 14 and I was her closest granddaughter and she was my closest grandparent I miss her so bad

    • Eleanor Haley  October 11, 2017 at 11:46 am Reply

      I’m so sorry Sophie 🙁

  5. Gracie H  October 19, 2017 at 4:11 pm Reply

    My grandad died a month ago today and it was his funeral last week and I’m absolutely devastated, as well as my family. I was with him all the way through as my dad and I came down to visit him in the Friday, and Saturday night, he said was taken by ambulance to A and E, we were with him every day in the hospital and only three hours after we said goodbye to him, he passed away. I feel so upset as he was by far my favourite grandad and indeed grandparent and I’m going to miss him so so much:( weirdly though, I have nice memories of him in hospital like when the nurse asked who I was and he said I was his “littley” and tried to get up to give me a hug when he found out I was next to him the day before he died. I’m 15 and him passing away has been such a huge shock for me and something I know I won’t get over for a long time and as its my GCSE year it’s even harder, but I’m going to try to do the best I can and make him proud. At his funeral I read out a poem that described what he was like and our relationship. I love you so so much grandad and I miss you so much. Xx

  6. Alexa  October 31, 2017 at 7:17 am Reply

    My grandpa passed away a few days ago. Between that day and the funeral, I occasionally find myself suddenly bursting out into tears and breaking down just remembering all the things he did when I grew up. As a child, he was kind of like my second dad when my parents were out working. Later on in the years, when I grew up and my parents were able to take care of me, I saw him less but still occasionally here and there. When that happens, you don’t think so much of him. Now that he’s gone, I hold onto those memories so dearly because it’s the only thing I have left of him. The best way I felt with dealing with his death so far is sharing these memories with my family and letting the others share theirs. I’ve also felt that people who say that he has lead a good,long life helps too because then I get some closure in the fact that he has achieved so much while alive.

  7. Krista  November 11, 2017 at 3:12 pm Reply

    I lost my grandmother October 30th..she was my best friend…second mother and so dear to me..6 months prior she had a minor stroke she bounced back from 100 percent..and she was almost 94! She was healthy her whole life and passed getting ready for the day sitting on her bed…no one ne knows the cause..we think her heart stopped…I never got to say goodbye…I never thought I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye….I’m 35 and this is the closest person to me that has passed away…my grandfather passed when I was as in grade school and he was sick for many years so mentally we prepared ourselves…I feel like there is a void in my heart ❤️ i cannot fill…an emptiness…I just spoke to her a few days prior…I’m so saddened to have to not have her here…I’m so sorry we all have to feel this pain

  8. Joey  December 4, 2017 at 9:42 am Reply

    My grandma passed away on my birthday but she was revived and pronounced brain dead…She was my best friend my rock my mom someone i could always count on to be there when it seems like the world is going no wheres. She died 7 months ago on the 30th. And i still blame myself for her death. The day before she died we got into a fight a small one but i left never said sorry never called to say goodnight or i love you and when i was told she was gone it was like my whole world shut down at once. I sat with her as her body died crying and saying sorry, but did she know i was? Did she know i loved her more than anything in my heart? It feels like i have a hole in my heart and i don’t know what to do….

    • Kat  December 8, 2017 at 8:34 am Reply

      Oh sweet Joey, I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad (my son’s Pappaw) just passed on the 2nd Of December. I’m grieving too. This is not…could not ever be your fault. You don’t have that kind of power hon. None of us do. You must not “blame yourself”.
      The last thing that goes when we die is our hearing. Your grandma heard you. And she hears you now. I know that with ever fiber of my being. Continue to talk to her. Even if it’s just quietly in your head. She CAN hear you. And if you practice, and be still and can hear her too. I’m not crazy and I know what I’m saying sounds nuts, but I’ve done it and it’s real. She absolutely…ABSOLUTELY..knows how much you love her. She is in a state of perfection now. She can see your heart and she knows how good and kind and loving you are. She heard you honey. She did.

  9. Arissa  December 7, 2017 at 9:47 pm Reply

    hello, i’m in seventh grade… this is my first expirience with death. my grandmother passed away last night in the hospital, i havent seen her in weeks, and i never got to say goodbye. I’ve tried to keep it in near my family, but im so sad, i feel like life is so different even though i didnt see her much. with christmas coming around i feel so much worse because of how she would spoil us kids on christmas, we would spend most time with her, but now christmas wont be the same… Im just sad right now and needed to get this out.

  10. Arissa  December 7, 2017 at 9:53 pm Reply

    hello, i’m in seventh grade… this is my first expirience with death. my grandmother passed away last night in the hospital, i havent seen her in weeks, and i never got to say goodbye. I’ve tried to keep it in near my family, but im so sad, i feel like life is so different even though i didnt see her much. And im not religous, but before she passed, when she was in the hospital, i prayed, i prayed so much… but when my dad came back i knew she was gone. I have no more blood-grandparents that i know of anymore, as she had two husbands, and my others have either died or i dont know. with christmas coming around i feel so much worse because of how she would spoil us kids on christmas, we would spend most time with her, but now christmas wont be the same… Im just sad right now and needed to get this out.

  11. sam  December 14, 2017 at 7:00 am Reply

    I lost my grandfather 12 years ago I was 19 I’ve struggled hard for a long time
    the first 3 years I avoided conversations about him because a rush of grief would sweep me off my feet
    I then could talk about him but still heart crushed feeling as I do
    for the past 2 months Ive not been coping my head just won’t rest and all I think of is him
    maybe because its the Christmas holidays
    I probably won’t ever get over the fact he’s gone
    he was my everything and always will be

  12. Nina  January 3, 2018 at 7:33 am Reply

    May 3rd, 2013, two weeks before my tenth birthday, my grandmother passed away. She had been very ill with all sorts of cancer for the months prior to, but the doctor didn’t diagnose it until the end of March. She was hospitalized for most of April. We were told she would live for another few months, maybe even for the summer. But it got a lot worse and spread all over, and she became even more ill. It was so hard for me as a 9 year old to watch my grandmother slowly and painfully die in that hospital bed. I thought she was going to get better, and everything would be okay again. She was transferred to a Carpenter Hospice, with a month max to live. But within maybe two weeks of being there, she passed away. My aunt was staying with her that night, and I can still remember the frantic phone call to my parents, announcing that my Grandmother was dead. She was like a second mother to me, and I feel like I took her for granted. It’s been almost four years since she passed away, and it still breaks my heart. It feels like I lost a parent. When people ask me about my family, I able to talk about my grandmother and other deceased relatives like I have accepted their deaths. But I can’t shake it off. I think about her and other relatives and I just sob. I think about all the things I could have done to be better, and how I never got to say a proper goodbye.

  13. Emily  January 22, 2018 at 10:39 am Reply

    My grandpa just passed away yesterday. It’s not like it was necessarily a surprise as he’d been through various recurring cancers over the years and he was 94 years old, but it’s still hitting me harder than I expected. I guess I wasn’t close to him in the traditional sense of being close to a person, but I always felt this certain sense of inexplicable connection to him that made me feel close to him. I guess I always also thought that we were a lot alike, and perhaps he passed down more to me than is apparent. He was also the only grandfather I’ve known, as my other grandfather died just a few months before I was born. I’m 27, but this isn’t my first experience with loss. I guess what’s most difficult is that this is the second time I’ve grieved and felt like I wasn’t allowed to grieve. A few years ago, I lost my five-month-old puppy, who, to me, was like my baby. Then, it seemed like no one thought I should grieve as much or as long as I did because in their eyes, she was just a pet. Now, I feel that no one seems to think I’m allowed to grieve my grandfather because it probably doesn’t appear that I even had a close relationship with him. My grandmother wouldn’t let me come to the hospital to say goodbye, and she wouldn’t let me come over to their house afterwards to grieve together as a family, she only wanted her children and brothers around. I guess I’m okay with grieving on my own, but I don’t know how I’ll handle the wake and funeral, knowing that my grief doesn’t seem to count for as much as my grandmother’s/aunts’/uncle’s/mother’s/cousins’ grief. I just want to grieve my grandfather in peace, without judgment or obligation. I guess I just needed to tell someone this.

    • Gemma  February 22, 2018 at 9:42 am Reply

      Emily, your comment really affected me. I lost my Grandpa this week and felt how you felt.

      My Grandma and Mum live together and so are involving me but I still feel that I have less right to grieve than they do.

      I also have never experienced the loss of a person but had two house rabbits that were my babies, although they lived long lives when they died no one understood as they thought they were just pets.

      You aren’t alone. I hope that you found your way to grieve and you should know you have the right to grieve however you feel since you had a unique relationship.

  14. Lily  January 23, 2018 at 3:03 pm Reply

    My grandma died this morning. My mom thinks she wanted to die because my mom would always ask her if she wants to do something and she would say “I’ve seen all the things I want to see in my life” my grandma would refuse to go to the doctor. We live in a different state so it’s hard for us. My aunt lives with my grandma and they were gonna move here since my grandma got fired from her job a few months ago. My aunt says that she been nauseous and having trouble breathing in the last few days and refused to go to the doctor and this morning yelled at my aunt for trying to call the doctor so my aunt didn’t. One hour later my gramma told my aunt to call an ambulance and they worked on her in her bed then it was too late by the time they brought her to the hospital. Please bless. I don’t know what to do. She was my closet relative.

  15. Leo  January 28, 2018 at 10:02 pm Reply

    My grandpa passed away this morning and I found this cite while googling ways to deal w/ it. I’m not even sure whether writing this will help deal w/ all that sorrow. The whole family is in tears and after reading all these methods on dealing loss, I still feel helpless. I know there is no specific period as to overcome this, but I still would like to know normally or on average, how long does it take to make life move on, even if a little. BTW I’m turning 18 this yr and it’s my first time dealing with the loss of a love one. It would really kind if anyone can share there feelings or thoughts with me. May grandpa rest in peace.

    • Trevor Richwine  January 8, 2019 at 8:25 pm Reply

      I am 15. I just lost my grandpa to a falling tree. I cried so much because he was 81 and looked to be 60. It has been very hard for me but I am trying to think positive. He was my best buddy when it came to sports. We watched tv and golfed together. It makes me hurt when I think about it. It is very rough. I just tell myself that he is in heaven enjoying himself. This gave me a little reason not to fear death because I will meet up with him sometime. It is very tough and I will always remember him. The death was so sudden and it is extremely hard. You just need to know you are not the only one.

  16. Jessica  February 9, 2018 at 4:38 pm Reply

    Although it’s been a couple weeks since my G-ma passed, I’ve just started to Google how to cope and how to grieve. This is the 5th Grand Parent I’ve lost and it’s been some time since I’ve grieved last, but it all feels new. The others passed when I was very young, so I was upset but, I don’t think I understood what was really happening or the root to why I was lashing out. But this is different, I’m aware of everything now, I have many triggers although I’m am no longer in a constant “numb”.but, I can not recall what I’ve done the day before and I find myself crying quite often. I feel so selfish for feeling the way I do, and not acting myself.. esspecially at work. Based on the steps above I’m still in step 1, is that normal? I loved her very much! But we did not spend as much time together as I would have liked but I can’t seem to come to terms with her being gone. She passed fairly suddenly at the age of 86, and before she passed I had breakfast with her and the whole family. It was a delightful day. How long will I be this way before I can be at peace with her being gone???

  17. Liv  February 17, 2018 at 6:12 pm Reply

    My grandad died yesterday and my heart is broken. I don’t think there is anything I can do to move past this. He will forever be in my heart. Whenever I Think of him I automatically cry. This is the first time I’ve lost someone.

  18. Gemma  February 22, 2018 at 9:51 am Reply

    Thank you for the article and I can empathise with you all. My Grandad died 3 days ago and its been a sad blur. I feel that I have less right to grieve than my Mum or Grandma but he was my closest grandparent and he held the family together. He was 87 it was his birthday this month, he wasn’t sick even at his age it was still a shock. I visited him on Saturday and am so glad I got to see him. Its a comfort to read your stories and I can see how special all of our grandparents were. And yes it doesnt matter how old and great their lives were it doesn’t hurt less. My thoughts are with you all x

  19. Tanner Todora  March 2, 2018 at 4:15 am Reply

    My step grandfather died on January 18. The pain is still fresh in my mind. And the family, especially my stepdad, who I do classify as my true dad, is still taking it hard. Couldn’t cry at the day of the viewing and funeral. But now, yeah, it’s hit me. Lost great grandparents between the years 2001 and 2002. Was a kid then. Now I’m in my late twenties. I didn’t think it could happen again this soon, losing a grandparent.

  20. Ankita  March 10, 2018 at 1:02 am Reply

    I am in Canada and my family is in India from last three years I am studying in Canada never went back from those three years. Finally I finished my study got a job This year I was planning to go back. I recieved this call yesterday after work that I lost my grandfather I am totally broke I am crying since yesterday there is no family down here Its so hard Its first time I lost someone so close to my heart. I dont really know I keep reading these posts to get some support or call my family in between ! I pray for my grandfather may he rest in peace he was such a kind man!

  21. Desiree  March 10, 2018 at 12:56 pm Reply

    My grandmother passed away the 11th of Feb 2018. Its been so hard trying to go back to normal. I don’t want to be around people outside of my family. I don’t feel like smiling and talking to people at my job. I was also the one to plan the entire funeral myself and do all the running around . It took a huge toll on me. My grandmother was definitely a second mother to me and my siblings. She was there when my mother had to work. I also didn’t see this coming. It all kind of fell on our laps out of nowhere. Some days I’m ok and other times I’m not okay at all. Sometimes I want to tell and scream because I didn’t see this coming. She wasn’t feeling well but I definitely wasn’t thinking death was near. I had to watch her slowly die in hospice. Its the worse things to ever experience. I felt like we were being tortured everyday. I miss her so much.

  22. Candace  March 16, 2018 at 7:06 pm Reply

    My grand father past last night. I have so much anger and resentment built that I just asked the lord to remove all negative things. I pray to the lord I find some strength because right now I’m seriously loss. My heart hurts so bad just know all what my grand father had to go thru just to get better. It’s hard not to think about my grand father cause he was my every day now i don’t feel like looking forward to tomorrow because he won’t be here.. I love u granddaddy and forever will. Rest in heaven papa.. forever your candy

  23. november  March 24, 2018 at 5:36 am Reply

    My grandfather died at night today after being a week in a hospital. He has been being ill for longer time now but i did not imagine it would happen so soon even if our family was expecting it sooner or later. I visited him today and i regret not having come in the weekdays before, since i was working tight schedule, but maybe i was just afraid to come. i feel sad but not into tears, but seeing my mother crying and my grandmother saying her goodbye to him were breaking my heart much more to see, than his death. i accept that it is a part of the circle, but it also terrifying to think about own mortality. i was too afraid to touch him, he looked nothing like a living man i remember, i would not recognize him actually, but i touched a part of the bed. so after coming home i was googling a bit of the ways to deal with such a loss. i am in my 30th and it is my first time seeing dead.

  24. Anyka Ivey  March 26, 2018 at 5:42 pm Reply

    Hi my grandad passed away yesterday. I feel so sad I feel sad for my dad and the family. He had been ill for a very long time with Kidney cancer but he always like to make a joke of things. I went round to see him and my gran at least once a month and spend good quality time. I’m 33 now and I feel I have bonded with them more as an adult chatting about life, my love life, my son, everything. I loved grandads childhood stories. My gran become very ill and taken to a nursing home and I feel sad for both as I knew they had become lonely and to ill to see each other after 60 something years its so unfare. It was very painful to see grandad in pain as he tried to cover it. A few weeks ago he had a chest infection and he felt bad that I was there and he wasn’t great company, to me I just wanted to sit with him anyway. last Saturday I saw in hospital and he was asking if I bought in some alcohol for a joke because that’s what he is like. I felt so sad seeing him yesterday holding on to his last breaths he looked in pain and no responding. I knew he wouldn’t let go till we were gone like he always fighted off sleep. He always wanted to be the best company and that was important to him. He was a proud man The loveliest man that was proud of his big family. RIP

  25. KC  April 10, 2018 at 8:28 pm Reply

    Thank you for this article. My “Pop” passed away Feburary 16th at home in hospice care. For the two weeks after his horrible accident seeing him slowly pass has been the most traumatic experience of my life. He was the most kindest and authentic person. He always had a way of lifting others up and had a joke to tell when you needed a smile. He was an angel that lived on earth. Even though my grandparents lived a full life with many wonderful experiences, he passed too soon, they had more memories to make. I haven’t addressed my grief fully yet, I feel as if I need to be strong and clear minded as I have the responsibility of his estate of making sure my grandmother who lost the only man she loved is taken care of. The last conversation we had before his accident was he wanted to go home from the hospital to make sure his wife was okay. I’m looking after Nan for you Pop…

  26. T. Anonymous  April 14, 2018 at 9:47 pm Reply

    My grandmother is in hospice after a 2.5 year long battle with cancer, a VERY aggressive one. She was originally given 3 months to live, but bravely fought until the strokes got her recently. The last stroke was last weekend. I just got back today from out of state where we stayed a night. I had to say goodbye… This is the HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life. For the record, she is aware and all there but cannot speak. It was extremely emotional and I did the talking (softly in her ear). I could have stayed until tomorrow, but obligations have me back here… She is still alive but in hospice at her home and she will be passing.

    I am torn to shreds. I want to spend every minute there until she goes, but it is not possible and I KNOW she would want me to continue with my career and family.. It’s just incredibly difficult.

    As a man, I am ripped to shreds emotionally to the point I am crying.. (I hate showing emotion).. IDK how to ignore the guilt..

  27. Nicole  May 12, 2018 at 3:02 am Reply

    My grandmother died April 14th and it was an emotionally draining week and I can’t get some of the things I heard and saw out of my head. It was my first experience witnessing death firsthand and hospice just seemed so horrible for some reason. I watched the woman that was like a second mom to me slowly get weaker and weaker after the diagnosis of kidney cancer and she made it less than a year after her cancer was discovered. I had to be next to her and I whispered many things in her ear and played music for her when she was in a coma. She was always a phone call away and the one that always made me laugh about situations that seemed hopeless. I watched her say her goodbyes to everyone and she had a tear stream down her face that I can’t forget. It was horrible to see her try to understand what was going on. She knew I was by her side through it all and my grandpa was as well. We were the closest with her and she held on until we closed out eyes and fell asleep and then she took her last breath. I watched her deteriorate slowly into a cold lifeless body.

  28. Morgan  May 19, 2018 at 8:23 pm Reply

    My grandpa ( Paw Paw ) died on July 7th and him and my Nana basically raised me my whole life and their home is my first home.
    He was like the father figure in my life and he always understood me when others did not. He was the glue that held the family together. When he left it all started crumbling and every time I think of him I will now have to bite my lip and put walls down so I would not collapse on the floor crying. The worst of all is that the last thing I ever said was bye. And I will regret never saying ¨I love you¨ or ¨I will always miss you.¨ And I will. Till the day I die and join him again.

  29. Diane Laree Peagler  May 20, 2018 at 8:44 pm Reply

    My Grand parents……lived long…. ( My Nanny passed away 1997 at 89 , and my grand father 2008- He was 99…I still cry .and miss them . Had them both well into my adult-hood! <3

  30. Shay  May 26, 2018 at 6:05 pm Reply

    My grandma passed away on May 6 and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. On top of the end of the school year it was nearly unbearable. I didn’t get to say goodbye and I still cry on a daily basis. It’s good to hear that other people are still grieving even years later because I’m worried that one day I will forget and I never want the lessons she taught me to leave me. Thank you everyone.

  31. Heather  June 9, 2018 at 7:21 am Reply

    My grandma passed away on November 12, 2017 @ 12:10 am PT at the age of 76. She was my best friend and not to mention my go-to person when I want to talk about something. She was always there for me and I am crying as I’m typing this. I think about her every day. My uncle then passed away on March 21, 2018 @ 11:17 am at the age of 46. He was a great person. He made everyone happy even if he had to sacrifice something of his own. I will miss them both dearly……..

  32. Rebecca  June 9, 2018 at 11:14 pm Reply

    I lost one of my grand mothers on December 15 2017 and my other one June 6 2018 two day after he 86 birthday. I’m having a hard time coping and my whole family seems fine and no one knows I’ve crude myself to sleep everynight since the second died. I just feel so empty and numb. I find music very helpful in the grieving proces though. It really helps understand that I’m not alone.

  33. Edith Aint  July 12, 2018 at 5:46 pm Reply

    My grandma died this week, right before my birthday this month….She was 84, but very healthy for her age, so it feels so sudden….She was one of my only friends, and the word “was” doesn’t even feel right. We shouldn’t stop being friends just because she died.

    All through my childhood and teenage years, I spent every other weekend with my grandma and uncle. Even after I met my boyfriend, finished school, and turned 18, I still visited and called just as frequently. Until my mom and I were kicked out by her ex-husband, leaving us cooped up together in my grandma’s apartment for 3 months. I stopped visiting so much after that because….I became uncomfortable in that apartment, I suppose. My mom can ruin almost everything….

    That same year, my uncle had a mental breakdown. He hasn’t been his “usual self” ever since. Even with my grandma around, I didn’t feel safe around him anymore, and my mom just adds fuel to the fire. So I visited my grandma even less.

    Even a phone call felt risky, because my uncle might answer the phone. He used to be one of my best friends, just like my grandma, but he started getting more and more agitated with me. If I would ask for my grandma, he’d get defensive and wonder why I didn’t wanna talk to him. And when my grandma and I did talk, he would eavesdrop, mumbling under his breath the whole time. So I went from calling my grandma every day to only calling her once a week.

    During this past year, my husband and I started visiting them again. Although we had an ulterior motive: my grandma paid us to go grocery shopping for her, both in gas money and “whatever we want” from the store. Still only talked on the phone once or twice a week though, because I was so afraid of my uncle answering the phone….

    The guilt is eating me up inside. Both my uncle and grandma trusted and respected me as their best friend, yet I only grew older, colder, more bitter, and more abusive of their love….My grandma never complained. Only my uncle would say “I miss you” or ask me if I still love him. I do. But does my grandma know I still love her….?

    My grandma always told me to forgive myself. She’d say such ridiculous things, like “You could punch, kick, spit on me, steal from me, and I would still love you and forgive you.” She also told me not to cry about her death, and asked me “Why would you cry over a dirty, ugly, stupid old lady like me?” Because I love you, Granny. That’s why.

    She didn’t want anyone to see her in the hospital either. And of course, everyone else ignored that wish. Except me. Down to the last day, the last minute, my grandma made it clear that she didn’t want me to watch her deteriorate. So if she didn’t want me to see her that past week, what about that past month? The month I barely talked to her, when she was getting sick with pneumonia, and neither she nor my uncle told anyone? Maybe she already wanted to be left alone?

    My grandma wanted to die….She outlived most of her children, and those still alive were cruel to her at times. So was I. Death was a common topic at my grandma’s house, back when we would drink coffee together and plan out our funerals. I thought I was prepared for her passing. But I’m not grieving because my grandma died, I’m grieving because I lost one of my only friends….

    If I had more confidence and patience with my uncle, I could’ve spent more quality time with him and my grandma. I could’ve spent one more weekend, or just one more night, drinking coffee with them like the “old days” just a few years ago….How can I apologize for growing so distant? For growing up? How can I tell her I’m sorry? How much I love her? How much I miss her….?

    If I could only see and hear my grandma in a dream, even just that would give me some peace….Even if she is angry at me….Like my grandma. I’ve always had a guilty conscience, and like her, I’ve always been….a dreamer. Colorful, emotional, memorable dreams. Dreams that feel more real than reality. But I can’t find her in my dreams anymore, only my uncle and their empty apartment now….

    Should I try to convince myself that my grandma is really gone, or should I try to convince myself that she really isn’t….? I have so many questions for her, questions I used to think we’re so stupid, questions that she wouldn’t answer even if she was still alive….And if there really is a God, I know she has a lot of questions too….

    I just want to free my mind from this grief so I can think again!

  34. Unknown  July 24, 2018 at 10:25 pm Reply

    I can relate to many of the comments mentioned. I recently turned 37 and my grandmother passed away about 2 1/2 days after my birthday. We were close, beyond close, connected, if you will. This woman raised me for the most part, from the time I was an infant until I was about 14 years old. I moved but would see her regularly and talk to her almost daily. As an adult, I moved in with my grandparents for a few years in my early 20s. I would often go visit at least 1-3 times a year. We literally talked multiple times a day. She was pretty much my mother which is often hard for people to understand. I have searched for grief groups in my area but have not found any that I feel would fit my needs. I have experienced all types of emotions, sadness, frustration, anger, even emotionless which makes me feel guilty. I don’t have the best insurance and can only afford to pay out of pocket a few times to see someone. Does anyone have any book suggestions? I have seen LOTS geared toward children and not adults. Suggestions would be great! Thank you!

  35. Ulkar  August 31, 2018 at 4:03 pm Reply

    My grandfather passed away 12 years ago. 4 days before my 10th birthday. 12 years later I’m still in grief as I just can’t cope with the loss of the closest person I’ve ever had. We lived together and I would go out with him for walks almost every day and I went to them every night making up that I had nightmares. 12 years later I’m lying in my bed and just crying uncontrollably trying to imagine him near. I started forgetting some moments and that really hurts and I don’t know. When you loose your loved one, someone as close and my granddad used to be to me, the pain and grief is forever just as all this love is.

  36. Tanya Morrison  September 11, 2018 at 10:57 pm Reply

    I just lost my grandmother September 6 2018. She helped raise me, my brother and 2 other cousins She never stopped raising children. She was the glue, backbone and rock to our family. She was my go to person for advise and direction. I would call her almost daily to chat with her. The end of may this brave women was diagnosed with an aggressive lung cancer…..over the past few months i watched at it claim her but nanny remaied positive and optimistic. My mom and i were with her almost every step of her journey but now we are lost. My heart hurts, eyes sting and my body is numb. I need to remain strong for those around me but i feel like im going to break at any moment. My nanny is gone and she has taken apart of me…

  37. Anon  September 12, 2018 at 1:05 pm Reply

    I lost my grandmother on August 15th 2018, one week later my partner of 9months left me for my younger brother

  38. Dani  September 18, 2018 at 5:40 am Reply

    I read this a couple nights ago… I had to come back because I felt in my heart I needed to comment to show those grieving what lies ahead and some advice that truly helped me believe they are off to a better place.. I write this at 4 in the morning after a restless night.
    My granddad passed away July 17, 2018 at 78 years old. He was the strongest man I ever new, I’m not sure any man on this earth loved me more then he did. I’ve never loved a man more… I didn’t have a father growing up. He was it, he was my everything. He had survived 7 heart attacks in his life. He started getting sick and we were waiting for biopsy results when one morning he woke up seriously confused. He went to the ER where that very night they confirmed he had cancer.. the monarch of our family was soon to be gone. He wasn’t aware he was dying he was to confused. 3 days after his diagnosis in the hospital they said it was terminal and gave him only days… we moved him to a passing facility where we could come see him 24 hours a day. Walk around barefoot, and cook in the kitchen.
    One morning. I got off night shift and came to his side. Steve the owner said, did your grandpa have a friend named Jerry growing up? I said “yes but he died, why?” He said, because I listened to him talk to Jerry all night long, it was interesting to listen too. And then he said “he must be getting close” I said close? What do you mean?? He said, when people are close to passing loved ones, always the deceased, come to visit them, come to help them to the other side. I was IN SHOCK! To my disbelief I sat in bed for 7 nights all night long and read about death bed visions. I am a firm believer after reading the stories of the soon to be deceased confirming there loved ones are there. Please know, I’m telling you, this helped me tremendously.
    That night the owner stated my grandfather was going to go soon. He stated it was the longest he has ever heard anyone continue with the death rattle. I know why, my grandpa waited all night to have my grandmother alone. She turned on sports and talked to him and When she kissed him goodbye she saw a tear down his cheek. As soon as grandma left the room to go home I went into the room to be with him, I refused to let him die without me, he knew that. I know he didn’t want my grandmother to see him die.
    And not five minutes after grandmother left, his breathing faded, I hollered for my mom, this was it. I still remember it like it was yesterday. My mother put her hands on my shoulders and I put my hands on his and started rubbing them and while I was sobbing i said “it’s ok papa, it’s ok! Jesus is coming, don’t be scared.” And with that he was gone. I wailed. I wailed louder then I have ever wailed in my life. My shining light for the last 30 years of my existence was gone. I cry hardly even as I write this. Please know to you all, you are not ALONE. When it feels like the world stops running for you but keeps running for everyone this is normal. When you wake up in the middle of the night with a hurting heart and burning throat, this is normal. When your wondering why this is happening and why life is so unfair, remember that some day it will be happening to you. And they will be there to help guide you: it does get easier but in those moments your experiencing the raw grief it won’t feel like it is. The grief will always be there but some how time helps you cope. Everyday gets a little easier.. I pray for you all and hope this message helped all of you in some way. I pray you all have dreams of them visiting. Since my grandfathers death I’ve had two, every night before I go to bed I wonder if I will dream about him. My last dream he looked healthy and said “hi Dani” I could hear him so plainly. I will continue being patient. See you at the gates my sweet papa.

  39. Claire Dunn  October 22, 2018 at 7:59 am Reply

    I lost my nan on the 30th August 2018 it was so sudden I’m so lost I’m really struggling with everything and the day after her funeral I lost my job so life at the moment is hard .I feel like a big black rain cloud is following me all the time.

  40. Precious  October 24, 2018 at 4:18 am Reply

    I am just 12 years old and I just lost my grandmother today…
    Ok so this is what happend

    So I in August 27 2018 my grandmother was confined in the hospital due to a uncontrollable cough and having a hard time to breathe. Me and my older sister went to the hospital she was in the next day we went into her room to see her sleeping in the hospital bed and I didn’t know what was her illness was until she was able to get out of the hospital 2 weeks later

    Ok fast forward to a few weeks my Mother said that my grandmother was saying something about ‘It’s almost time’ The whole family was getting worried even my distant uncle and my distant cousin ok fast forward to October 24 2018

    I was in school and then the bell rang. It was time to go home I went outside of the school to wait for my sister
    A few minutes later she came with slightly red eyes but I didn’t bother because she always had lack of sleep

    We got home and I thought everything was fine but when I got inside some of the furniture was gone and I heard
    ‘She was just waiting for her’ and then I thought that they were just having a discussion OH! but I was wrong I went inside of my grandmother’s room and saw my My parents and my aunts in silence when they saw me enter the room

    I saw my grandmother in her death bed.

    I hope y’all are coping with your grandparents death

  41. Precious  October 24, 2018 at 4:18 am Reply

    I am just 12 years old and I just lost my grandmother today…
    Ok so this is what happend

    So I in August 27 2018 my grandmother was confined in the hospital due to a uncontrollable cough and having a hard time to breathe. Me and my older sister went to the hospital she was in the next day we went into her room to see her sleeping in the hospital bed and I didn’t know what was her illness was until she was able to get out of the hospital 2 weeks later

    Ok fast forward to a few weeks my Mother said that my grandmother was saying something about ‘It’s almost time’ The whole family was getting worried even my distant uncle and my distant cousin ok fast forward to October 24 2018

    I was in school and then the bell rang. It was time to go home I went outside of the school to wait for my sister
    A few minutes later she came with slightly red eyes but I didn’t bother because she always had lack of sleep

    We got home and I thought everything was fine but when I got inside some of the furniture was gone and I heard
    ‘She was just waiting for her’ and then I thought that they were just having a discussion OH! but I was wrong I went inside of my grandmother’s room and saw my My parents and my aunts in silence when they saw me enter the room

    I saw my grandmother in her death bed.

    I hope y’all are coping with your grandparents death
    Good luck

  42. Davis  October 30, 2018 at 6:19 pm Reply

    My great-grandfather fell ill with pulmonary edema at the start of September 2018. I knew this by a family friend. He was 90 and all his family had cut any bonds with him. But since 3 years I went to visit him 3 times a year taking my younger brothers with me. My great-grandfather and I had not a close relationship but he was my sole remaining grandpa having his son (my maternal grandfather) died before my birth and my paternal grandfather having deceased on my birthday in 2012 and I love going to visit him. I tried to visit him in hospital trice in a few days but I couldn’t manage to find the right hospital because of a lack of information. The next week I started school but I keep doing my job and I didn’t receive any news. On 5 October 2018 I received the news he had died on the morning of a lung cancer. No one in my family cried for him but now I feel so depressed because I can’t managed to visit him and tell him I had find a work and started college. I can’t manage to talk him before his death. After 3 weeks I haven’t already overcome this mourning and it’s difficult because I am the sole onr in my family.

  43. Jolee  November 1, 2018 at 8:35 am Reply

    My papa died of brain cancer last week he was 64. It was his fourth time having cancer so I feel like I should have been more prepared or less shocked but I’m not and its really difficult to accept. We were very close and he taught me so much and It is hard imagining life with out him. It also seems too soon because I lost my aunt in August last year to cancer and she was only 42. Both died slowly in hospice and I feel like I had to relive the traumatic experience I went through with my aunt again with my papa, I’m having a hard time dealing with both being gone and getting back to a regular routine and I don’t know how to make the transition any easier. Hopefully writing this down will help me except it and thank you for the other comments it helps to know I’m not alone.

  44. Patricia Franklin  November 4, 2018 at 9:28 pm Reply

    My grandmother Rosemary Goodall passed away last year on November 7, 2017. She was my best friend, confidant, diary, vent, you name it and she was it. She was disabled but God allowed her to live several years after surviving three strokes and having trimmers in her neck. She never slept well and had constant pain but she always managed to talk on the phone with me for hours, always support my mother any way she could and look after my older cousin who too has her disabilities. My grandmother who I fondly called “Toots”, was the matriarch of the family and we always went to her whenever there was a family dispute, a need, a prayer or just a friendly ear to talk too. She wanted for nothing and in turn I don’t feel she was as valued as she should of been. When I was in junior college I sang “Wind Beneath My Wings” to her in front of my entire vocal class. I surprised her that day and she rode a cab all the way across the city to come hear me sing. She told me that she wanted me to sing that song to her every year until her death. Even when I didn’t feel confident in my singing voice she still cried every time I sang that song. I even sang the song at her funeral, as hard as that was for me I turned my body to her and sang to her as though we were in my living room. I miss her, terribly. My sister was murdered a day before her birthday in 2015. When my sister passed my Toots and I grew even closer. Now that they are both in heaven together I feel lonely at times but I also know I am surrounded by a beautiful circle of angels who watch over me and will continue to do so until I pass on.

  45. Reese Iman  November 11, 2018 at 1:59 pm Reply

    My step nother’s mother died on October 28,2012, my father’s mother died November 28,2012. Even though the first one wasn’t my “paternal” grandmother I still miss her so much. My dad’s mother death hurt me the absolute worst. I always remember going to her house every weekend and every summer and some Holidays. I miss laying in bed with her and she’ll rub her cold feet on me and we’ll both laugh. I remember listening to her pray every night. I remember going fishing at the pond in her backyard. I remember every time we went to her house she would say “Come hug my neck”. I would do anything in this world just to hear her say that again. Almost 6 years later I am still not over her death. It hasn’t gotten any easier for me. I am crying as I type. I don’t know if I should seek counseling. I remember the early morning that she passed I was laying in bed just thinking about her because the Doctor said she only had 24 hours to live. As I was laying there thinking I could hear her voice come through so clearly and say “I love you Reese”. I simply said “I love you too grandma”. The next morning I woke up to a message that said “Sorry for your loss”. I was confused and hurt because I just knew my grandmother wasn’t gone so why would someone say that to me….. But she was. I denied it, even after seeing her sleeping in her casket, I denied it. My grandma would never leave me, she loved me too much. This lady in the casket looked just like her except for the bow she always wore in her hair was placed wrong. This can’t be her. Grandma where are you? I denied her death for two years but then , it hit me like a ton of bricks. She’s really gone. Now here I am 17 days shy of 6 years and im having a hard time. I miss my grandma so much and it hurts my soul…. I’m hurting and even if I live to see the age 78 i’ll always yearn for my grandmother. I cry because I know it’s okay to do so

  46. Aditya  November 14, 2018 at 11:53 am Reply

    Hi , this is very painful for me , I don’t know how much courage is required to write this .
    So on 23 October 2018 a very unfortunate date
    for me , my grandma died it was early morning when she left us . I was in a grief when I heard that sad news through my mom , she told me that “ son ur grandma has died ”. This sentence was enough to made me flashback all the memories I had spent with her , she was very kind , lovable . All the memories flashed by when we used to go on walk , talking and laughing on my stupid jokes . I m crying while writing this .
    Due to my work I was not able to come to her funeral to bid her good bye and that thing hurts me the most , I cried a lot that day and I want her to know how much I loved her and how badly I want her to comeback .
    RIP grandma
    Love you

  47. GRAND -Daughter  November 14, 2018 at 4:34 pm Reply

    Hello idk what the purpose of this is, either telling our stories or giving tips to get over losses, but In this case I’m just going to tell my story considering I know none of you and I don’t have to worry about being “okay”.
    My absolute bestest friend in the whole world passed away on December 21, 2017 mid afternoon. He had just came back in side from watering the plants and sat in his chair. My grandma said he let out a big wheezy sound and was gone. He had a heartattack which wasn’t the first time. His health wasn’t the best but he was more of a “ I’m here for a good time not a long time” kinda of guy. He raised me and was basically my dad, we did everything together my entire life And he made me who I am today, all of my interests and likes are because of him. With Christmas coming up and thanksgiving just passing, this was probably the worst time for this to happen. And not only did I miss out on my last chance to spend a full thanksgiving with him because my dumbass HAD to go to my dumbass ex bfs house that day (it was his birthday) I left early and that was the last time I saw him. I have never been able to get that out of my head, the bad decision I made adorns selfish reason. My family had a very hard time dealing with it and my mom, and aunt still have issues. But at the time when everyone was emotional I realized there wasn’t anyone there anymore to comfort people, do the hard things that no one wanted, and kept everyone happy, so I just took the role he left in a way and would just do everything for everyone, be there for everyone and listen, comfort them al , while maintaining a smile on my face just for them. Never was I able to cry and have a bad day if it was regarding my grandpa, because then it would just bring back everyone else’s sadness which I didn’t want to do to anyone, especially my grandma and mom. A whole year I’ve been like this and the only people who know my true pain is my ex, my friend, and now random internet people. I cry all the time but secretly, I let everyone think I’m okay so they can be okay but really on the inside I feel as if he took apart of me with him because things have not been the same and neither have I. But I will continue to act as if I am for my family because I wouldn’t want to increase any more pain for them by expressing the millions on sad thoughts and feelings I have experienced. Please never take your family for granted or the holidays because one day you might think “ oh it’s okay I can leave early I always stay till the end and all they just do is talk, I’ll stay the entire time next year” and just to find out next year won’t be coming. If you read this and are feeling or expericing anything sorta the same just know I’m sorry and I hope those feelings change to happy ones.

  48. AR  November 18, 2018 at 6:22 pm Reply

    I just lost my grandpa yesterday. They lived with my parents together and hence i was basically raised by them. I see how much he has inspired me. He encouraged me from day 1 and taught me i am as equal to any boy in a quite patriarchal indian socitey. He went to bat for me in every single corner.

    He taught me cricket, he treated me lke an equal and he was my partner in crime. He was strict dad to all my aunts and my dad, yet, he softened up and was the most supportive co parent ever when it came to me. He took pride in every single achievement i had, and was right there with me every step of the way.

    i cannot even begin to fathom his absence. i dont know. i just dont know. i love you thatha! i love u.

  49. Mi Andria  November 27, 2018 at 6:30 am Reply

    My grandfather passed away last week Wednesday and we have been incredibly busy taking care of everything up to the funeral that we, as family members, did not have much to check in with ourselves and see how we are doing and what we are feeling emotionally. So yes, here I am trying to google and find ways to cope with the loss because it is really difficult to accept. The funeral happened yesterday and I am back to work today. I can barely do anything, but I am trying my best and showing up no matter how difficult it still is.
    He was the only one I had left. I never met my dad’s parents, my maternal grandmother died when I was 11 (I don’t think I fully understood loss at that time), and my maternal grandfather is the one I had left. He is the one I proudly talked about growing up because he was really good at Sudoku, he was so talented – he played the guitar and the piano and wrote theatrical pieces, he was a man of God, he loved his country and voted for the last time during the elections in November, at 85 years old. He insisted to go and vote throughout the entire day, and I have never seen someone so keen on accomplishing his duty as a citizen of a country.
    I left my country at a very young age, but this year, I got back here for an internship and naturally, I decided to spend as much time as I could with my grandfather, sleeping over at his house and bringing some snacks for him because food makes everyone happy.
    When he got sick, people told me that it is a good thing that I am back in the country. He died on the day I decided to visit him at the hospital. The day before, I was scared to ask for permission at work, and my mom told me I should still ask because I might regret.
    I was at the hospital at 7 am, and he passed away about 6 hours later.
    I am grateful that I got to see him this year, because I almost didn’t make it here. I am grateful that I got to see him on his last day on earth. He no longer spoke, he had all these tubes going down his neck. But I am hoping he heard me. I hope he heard all the messages people wanted him to hear since most of his children (my aunts and uncles, and even my mother) were still abroad and were texting me the things they had wanted him to know.
    I hope we made him proud. The funeral went well yesterday. But going back to my everyday reality is difficult.
    I am feeling very numb. I don’t know if that is normal. But I am also grateful I found this website. It feels great to have a space where we can share our experiences.

    Thank you,


  50. Honey  December 5, 2018 at 2:28 pm Reply

    I miss you maman Lapi you were my lapsi joonam and I love you forever you meant the world to me.

  51. Michelle  December 13, 2018 at 4:20 pm Reply

    Hello to all that is reading! I just want to share my story about the pain I feel
    My Grand (grandad) has passed away 3 days ago! 11/12/2018 (uk date) he had just turned 80!
    My handsome kind, loving joker, grandad. I’m just absolutely devastated!
    I’m 40 now the eldest granddaughter and favourite 🤣 I’ve always been in my grandparents lives me & my brother lived there when my mom was seriously ill we were only age 3 and 4. Anyway my dad wasn’t much of a dad he left my mom and us & that was that. Grandad we’d see at least 3times a week as we lived down the rd it’s where I’d run to when I was in trouble or a hot meal. My grandad was such great man he made swings for me & my brother, he fixed absolutely anything he worked on construction sites 6am starts 5pm finish 6 days a week! he’d take us swimming every Sunday! he’d take us to clubs and the list goes on and on! He was strong and never moaned I didn’t see him moan anyhow he was my role model I thought he’d live forever stupid I know
    Anyhow he had a heart attack 3yrs ago and the hospital saved him he seemed a little different, as in, weaker and he liked to stay in the house but he was still grandad!
    I would visit nan and grand every week so I was on my way when my Nan rang her voice broken she said “ambulance is taking him to the hospital” I went straight to hospital got there before grandad
    So when I saw my grandads chest getting pumped up and down I said no that’s my grandad they wheeled him out his head looked purple his beautiful eyes were wide open and there was nothing in his eyes I knew he was gone (dead)
    It was the most horrendous thing I’ve ever seen I couldn’t stop crying and shaking my Nan bless her she came 5 mins later and we had to turn the machine off then they lay him there dead for us to be with. I’m just gutted
    And all I can see is his face & eyes it’s horrible
    I’m trying to remember how he was when living but that image is haunting me I don’t know how to get past it
    I have children that need me. Though the sadness on me is hurting so bad I didn’t think I’d feel this bad
    Miss him 💔

    • Casey  December 13, 2018 at 10:17 pm Reply

      Sorry to hear of the loss of your grandfather. He sounds like he was an incredible man. I’m sure he is looking down on you with sincere love and pride. I happened upon this article because I am having a hard day. My grandfather passed back in February and his sister passed this past week. I just returned from the wake and it truly opened some old wounds. Reading your story helped me in some way. So, I figured I’d let you know. Wishing you well. Keep embracing those memories.

      • Michelle  December 14, 2018 at 5:04 pm

        Oh CASEY it’s so hard isn’t it knowing we not able to see our beautiful people… of course I understand it’s part of life it just seems so unfair to take good ones away!! and feels as though I’m the only one hurting so bad. I can thank my grandad and Nan for the love they shown me because they’ve made a big part of me ❤️ And who I am today
        I’ve been looking at pictures of how he was I’m going to block the end out of my head (well try) because I know he wouldn’t of wanted his loved ones to see him in the end
        I shall treasure the memories
        And I was very lucky to have him as my grandad very lucky (some people don’t have anyone do they 😢) love to you stay strong and be the best you can be
        I hope my children and (grandchildren, not yet 🤣) think of me like I think of my grandad what a lovely thought
        Though I’m not good with my hands… I can put up a shelf just about
        Stay strong 💔❤️🌸🌹💖 i think reading of other people’s feelings really helps! Does me anyway

  52. Laura Newton  December 15, 2018 at 11:20 pm Reply

    My nan passed at the end of October at 98. I had a similar experience as michelle. I didn’t see my nan before she died and I wish so much I had had a chance to say goodbye to her. I saw her about 4 weeks before and me and my sister took my niece to see her at her care home. It was a nice afternoon and my sister did her nails for her. I went and hunted for some nail varnish and we both painted them. Her funeral was 3 weeks after her passing and myself and my sister chose to see her in the chapel of rest. I am, like Michelle haunted by that and wish I hadn’t done it. I do have so many amazing memories of her and think of random stuff all the time but I think seeing her body was definitely a bad decision. But i can’t go back in time.

  53. Laura Newton  December 15, 2018 at 11:29 pm Reply

    My other nan passed in 2009 and I still miss her and think about her. She was a primary teacher and one of my inspirations for wanting to become a teacher myself. Time does help but you don’t miss time less

  54. R  December 23, 2018 at 8:18 am Reply

    I lost a very special man last July, this coming Christmas will be the second without my grandad. Occasionally I’ll reminisce about the memories we shared but I find that recalling them only makes me upset and miss him even more. Holidays are especially hard for myself and my family. Is there anyone out there who has any advice on how to deal with this? It’s so hard seeing an empty seat at the table.

  55. Macy  December 27, 2018 at 11:12 am Reply

    I lost my grandfather last night, and he was struggling through cancer, and was in a lot of pain. I chose to understand the fact he is gone and take it into something positive, in result that he will not have to suffer anymore. Wish him luck in the after party and a fun easy life. RIP, December 26,2018

    • Alina  December 27, 2018 at 1:41 pm Reply

      The same thing happen to me, the cancer and all, but my grandparent died on Christmas night…I’m only 18 and he was 71, I feel like I didn’t have enough time with him. Today was the funeral..

  56. Deja  December 28, 2018 at 2:20 am Reply

    Hi I just lost my grandpa on December 19th and his funeral was on the 27th it honestly didn’t hit me until I laid eyes on him I’m only 21 and he was my best friend & the only man I’ve ever loved my heart hurt so bad I feel like I’m going crazy I cannot stop cry or thinking like this is really real I just don’t kno what to do with my self but I know he wants better for me so I’m trying to stay strong and thank u everything on this page helped me so much.

  57. Diana  January 1, 2019 at 2:49 pm Reply

    My grandfather passed away on 30 december 2018. Păpușina will always love you, tataie! Always

  58. Arista Broadus  January 2, 2019 at 1:49 am Reply

    I lost my Granny this morning January 1, 2019 just a month before my baby boy was due and I’m in complete shock as we were just planning my baby shower and never expected to lose her on New Year’s Day. I’m at peace with her passing but the sadness knowing I’ll never be able to hold a conversation or she won’t meet face to face the great grandson she talked about all the time is so overwhelming. I love you Gladys Jolina Broadus forever and always

  59. Trevor Richwine  January 8, 2019 at 6:38 pm Reply

    Hi, I am 15 years old and recently lost my grandpa. We were very close when it came to sports. We would golf together and watch sports together. He was so nice and hardworking. I loved him so much. But when I got home January 4th, I saw ambulance lights. I knew something was wrong. No one was home, but a truck in my driveway. The man said that your grandpa was involved in a accident with a falling tree. I started to get extremely nervous and went inside. I got on my computer and sent a message to my friend because I was scared. A few minutes later, I saw my dad. I have never seen him cry in my life. I asked him if he was alright, and he gave me the biggest hug ever. For the rest of the night I was crying. I knew it was bad. I felt for my grandma and my mom. My grandpa was my best friend. He died while cutting a tree down and it fell on him. He had it notched and everything. The tree must have had a dead spot in it, which caused it to fall down onto him. I have been crying for so long. I can’t focus or anything. I truly hope he is in heaven with his mother and dad. The worst part about this was, that night my family was going to his house for dinner. I was going to bring a board game to play. This was the worst day of my life. I am still missing him and I need help of getting over it. I just wish it rained that day or something. Anyone got any thoughts? Thank You!

    • Lucy Wolf  January 20, 2019 at 5:07 am Reply

      Hi Trevor,

      I just found this page today (January 19, 2019) because I was searching for articles to help me cope with the loss of my grandma. I’m 23 years old and my grandma died this evening of natural causes, after a year of being sick. I was her only grandchild, and she was my only remaining grandparent. It’s hard and it hurts.

      I am so, so sorry to hear about your grandpa’s death. Please try to remember a few things as you process this grief:
      1. Do not be afraid to reach out for help, whatever that means for you. Friends, family members, teachers and mentors, and therapists can help a lot during this time. Think about what you need and what will help you process this loss, then seek out the people who can help you fill that need.
      2. Don’t blame yourself for what happened. We all wish we could change the past, it’s only human. But unfortunately, it wasn’t raining that day. I wish it was too, for you. But at this point, the only thing you can control is yourself. Not the past or the weather.
      3. Don’t let anyone minimize your loss. As stated in the article, people tend to discount the death of a grandparent. Just because your grandpa was older doesn’t make this any easier for you.
      4. Be comforted by the fact that your grandpa knew how much you loved him. From your post it seems like you and your grandpa spent a lot of time together. That is wonderful. Of course, this means that you will miss him a lot and be in a lot of pain after his death. But months and years from now, you will smile when you think of the time you spent together. Do not give in to any regrets–you had a wonderful grandpa, and he loved you very much.

      Your grandpa would not want you to be too sad that he died. Honor his memory, celebrate his life, and take the time you need to mourn this loss. But I promise, no matter how much this hurts right now, it won’t define you. I admire how open you are; please keep reaching out for help and seeking support. I wish you and your family the very best.


      • Trevor Richwine  February 2, 2019 at 7:54 pm

        Thank you very much! I am still having trouble getting over it with pictures all over the house. It really hurt because if it would of rained that day he would home watching tv, playing checkers, and having fun. He never wanted to die. I loved him so much. He was my golfing buddy, and it makes me sad walking to his farm and seeing his tractor. I pray one day I will see him again. Thank you for the support.

  60. Marius  January 16, 2019 at 12:45 pm Reply

    Hi. I lost my grandmother on new years eve. She just got a new doctor who gave her stronger pain meds and she overdosed. I wish i had spendt more time with her these last few years and told her how much she meant to me.
    She was a wonderful woman, generous and kind. She was buried yesterday and i have been in deep pain since. Love you forever.

    • Shelly  January 21, 2019 at 8:39 pm Reply

      Marius I lost my grandmother last year on New Years Eve. I feel the same way. I wish I could’ve told her how much she meant to me, spent more time and helped her out. Peace and blessings to you during your difficult time.

    • Nini  January 23, 2019 at 12:15 pm Reply

      Hi there I can relate I loss my granny @. 12:10 am New Year’s Eve. Im so sorry for your loss I know how you feel it hurts so bad. I have cried every night for 23 days I miss her so much! My sincere condolences to you❤️

  61. Gaurav  January 20, 2019 at 6:03 pm Reply

    My Grandma passed away yesterday. Seeing her motionless on the bed was a shock for me as she actually was a source of positivity in her healthy days. Miss you Aji, You were and will always be the best Curry maker that i have witnessed. Sadly my kids will never get to taste it. Thank you so much for being in my life telling stories and raising me the way i am. We will take care of grandpa don’t worry. Please rest in peace..

    • Stephanie  January 30, 2019 at 12:39 am Reply

      My grandma just passed away tonight. She was also the one who brought so much joy, life, and energy to every gathering. She had been getting weaker the past year or two. I feel I have such beautiful memories with her. Unfortunately my husband had some negative experiences with her, so he doesn’t know how to support my grieving. But sometimes you have to grieve alone. I’m not sure how much grieving I’m allowed to do and how long it’s okay to grieve when she was more of a holiday relative than a part of everyday life. Is it still okay to miss them and be heartbroken when you knew it was coming for a long time?

  62. Nini  January 23, 2019 at 12:12 pm Reply

    I lost my granny 1-1-19 to cancer. She was very agitated in the hospital cried the whole 2 weeks she was there. She was sent home with hospice orders. My mom, my sister, daughter and myself cared for her I’m her last days. She was on oxygen and @ 12 am there was celebrating of the new year someone shot the transformer out there was a powe loss and she passed away. I will never forget seeing her laying there dead! I feel like I’m loosing my mind . I miss her so much. I’m her eldest grandchild.

  63. Jyla  January 29, 2019 at 10:34 pm Reply

    I’m losing my grandpa. He cas cancer, he was more of a dad than my own he was there when my dad wasn’t, we used to drive for long periods of time just talking and laughing and now he’s on his death bed and he’s a few hours away from me I’m 15 and i really don’t know how to deal with death. It’s sad ,I’m so sad I can’t be there for him. It’s really scary knowing I won’t always have my papa there for me. I really don’t know what to think I have a mix of emotions and I don’t know which one to focus on and it’s scary I’m cold and shaky my heart is always pounding I’m sweating, crying and scared every time my mom and dad would fight my grandparents were always there every. Single. Time. I’m really, really scared I don’t know what to do.

    • Dylan Cox  February 3, 2019 at 2:05 am Reply

      I’m sorry to hear that.

      I’m 26. My grandfather passed away on Thursday from a mix of things, one being cancer.

      I understand exactly how you feel right now. Take the time you have now to tell him anything you feel that you need to, if you’re able to.

      My grandfather went to the ER because he had fell the night before and just wanted to get checked out. He never left.

      Try to tell him that you love him. That’s something I wish I’d had done.

  64. Christiana Pietzsch  February 1, 2019 at 7:55 am Reply

    My Grandmother died in November 2018. She was such a big part of my life, she taught me so much and was the biggest inspiration to me. She was so beautiful and elegant. A few months before she died she was very depressed, a lot of her past was haunting her and she couldn’t think of anything else. She also suffered from tinnitus, but unfortunately was told by a witch doctor that it was her dead family members haunting her. It drove her mad and she could not rest. It was so painful to see her in so much distress and not be able to help her. In September 2018 she attempted a suicide at a train station, and when I got the call that she had been sectioned I was so torn apart. I had no idea it had got so bad that she wanted to leave this earth. I visited her hospital and then she was finally released back home.

    One evening in November she wasn’t answering the phone the whole day and I became increasingly concerned. I went straight to her house to find her phone on the table with missed calls from me. I was so worried, I was looking on the balcony for her and even called the casinos where she liked to go but they would not give me any information, so I called the police to file a missing persons report. The police said they were sending an officer to come and talk to me but I didn’t make any connection. Before they arrived I found a note in my house left by the police saying that they have tried to find someone who knows my grandmother. I still did not understand what this meant, a thousand thoughts were rushing through my mind.

    The police came to my house and broke the news that my beloved grandmother was found in a canal. She had committed suicide. It was the most devastating news I have ever heard, words can not express the pain I feel. It has almost been 3 months now but I think about her everyday.

    I see her in the clouds and in the sunset and moons rainbow. She is everywhere and nowhere. I hope she is at peace now, where she deserves to be.

    I love you granny <3

  65. Tammy  February 4, 2019 at 12:34 pm Reply

    I lost my grandparents almost exactly a year ago. I was raised across the street from them. They were married for 72 years and passed 53 days apart. Speaking as one of their closest granddaughters, the sad thing is that no one at all in the family has acknowledged me as grieving yet. I haven’t even gotten hugged yet. This makes me grieve more. I feel better that they are both resting in peace together, no longer in pain. But it hurts that no one has realized that I was affected to but blocking me when their names come up.

  66. Joe Anna  February 28, 2019 at 3:02 pm Reply

    My grandparents died within eight months of each other. My Papa died in September of 2010 (my mind has blocked out the date for the last 8.5 years) and I lost my Damommie on May 5, 2011. It still hurts. One of the hardest things was being a nurse and watching my Damommie deteriorate in those last months (I know now her heart was broken) and wishing that she would stay for me, because I needed her. I was 30 years old, but I still needed my Damommie. The pain changes with time, it doesn’t hurt as much, and I’m happy and proud to tell stories about them, especially to my kids. Some days it hits me harder, though. Christmas is still tough, because I always still wonder what to buy them. Their birthdays aren’t as bad, but their death days are rough for all of us. I had a dream last night that I kept losing my Damommie all over again, over and over. It’s been a tough day for me because of that, and some days I can’t believe it’s almost been eight and nine years. I used to say that I wanted to stop feeling any sadness about it because I thought that would make me stronger. Now I know that continuing on and living the life that they very much helped build in me is strength. Still loving them is strength. Thinking of them, even with tears in my eyes is strength because I am their living legacy. As time goes on for all of you, and the worst of the pain is right now, remember that grief is love with nowhere to go, and that being strong is doing whatever you have to do to continue your life, and not just mourn, but honor the memory of the ones that you have lost.

    • Penelope  March 9, 2019 at 8:48 am Reply

      Dear Joe Anna,

      This is so beautiful. I am currently saying goodbye to my grandmother and every single word you say hits my heart.
      Continue to stay strong and live the life they wanted by making them proud.

      Thank you!

  67. Khusboo SIra  March 21, 2019 at 3:23 am Reply

    I lost my grandpa a month ago because of an unexpected heart attack, he was on vacation far away from us. I couldn’t even attend his funeral and now I just cry at night because I miss him so much. He taught me about love, about caring for others and providing for our family. I considered him my father and losing him means I lost parts of myself. I’m 18 and don’t know much about life, he was the one teaching me, I’ve lost him and don’t know how to help myself. He was just on vacation so why would he leave us so soon, I’m so angry for agreeing on sending him away. Being the eldest of the family he kept us together, know I can see my family falling apart. I wish for better days to subdue the pain.

    Does it ever get better?

    Has anyone found a little bit of happiness? I’d like to know so I don’t let myself go.

    • Kim  April 21, 2019 at 3:13 am Reply

      I’m a year and a few months after losing my Grandpa, and he meant and still means the world to me. I love him, and I still feel pain when I think of how badly I want to go see him, but can’t.

      One of my coping mechanisms was writing down in detail everything I remember with him, and trying to relive and occupy those moments in my memory. I still sometimes add to it. It used to always feel immensely painful but cathartic – every memory reminded me of what I’ve lost and what I will never have again.

      Over time, while committing to these memories and loving who he was, looking into his favourite songs, bonding with whom and what he loved about this world, it’s become easier. It’s just different – reflecting feels like connecting to him and incorporating him into my life. It feels a reminder of what I’ve had, and what I love and could never forget. Thinking of memories hurts, but now it makes me happy, too. It didn’t happen overnight, and sometimes it hurts deeply, but if it weren’t for this pain I wouldn’t have kept this connection to him and our memories this strong. It keeps him in my life in an important way.

      I’m still grieving, but it improves every day (with flare-ups for old memories), and I honestly am happy – and I’m not happy despite him, Im happy with him. The memories, and to a degree the pain, mean I’ll never truly lose how much he meant to me <3

      It gets better, hang in there! Life is still meaningful, there are great joys out there that I am and you will experience, and you do NOT have to be "over it" or forget how much your loved one means to you to get there. You will get there. Take care, I'm sorry for your loss <3

    • A  August 7, 2019 at 7:26 pm Reply

      Heya I get you. My grandma died a month ago and I still don’t believe it. She died of an unexpected stroke and many other things after fighting in hospital for 4 months. I thought she was getting better, but she took a turn. I’m 18 too and she was my absolute world and we were so similar in every way possible, she was only 75, she deserved to live a lot longer. It’s completely destroyed me and my alevels and I just want to give up on life because it’s so painful. 18 is such a shitty age to lose someone extremely close to you. We’re already all over the place and this has entirely thrown me off the edge. Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. I hope you’re okay.

  68. Howard Phipps  March 24, 2019 at 5:17 pm Reply

    I am 16 and never got to meet one of my grandparents but lost my grandfather in 2016 grandmother 2017 and my other grandmother is currently on hospice.

  69. Sanchari Mandal  March 28, 2019 at 5:36 pm Reply

    I lost my grandfather in 2018 november. Seems like I am the only one still holding onto the memories. I was not very close to him but I wish I was. I miss him terribly each day. And I cry looking at his pictures. Now that I am reading the comments above I am not able to hold back my tears. I hope i recover …sooner or later. 🙂

  70. gwen  April 2, 2019 at 4:43 pm Reply

    i am 14 i just got home and found out my grandmother died of cancer. i had no emotion when my mother told me, but then it hit me that she was gone. i don’t know what to do anymore. please help me.

    • Keila  April 5, 2019 at 3:15 am Reply

      My grandma passed away Sunday morning, she lives 7 hours away from me I’m a mes student and I didn’t have enough Will to call them regularly.
      She took care of me trough out my childhood and she and I had one of the biggest connections I’ve ever created with a human being.
      A few years ago she started getting tired and having lots of trouble with her health so we should take her to the doctor and they would always tell us that there was nothing wrong with her that she had to control her diabetes, so time passed and she’ll become less interested in life we thought she was depressed and I remember being so angry that she didn’t want to go to the psychologist.
      I thought she was hypochondriac, the last time I spoke to her the phone call got interrupted so I never got to say goodbye to her.
      We never knew she had ovarian cancer the last weeks of her life she didn’t move from her bed but I didn’t know how bad the situation was so I didn’t visited.
      I feel so guilty because she and my brother are the most important humans In my life and now she’s gone and i wasn’t good enough for her… I didn’t deserve her.
      I feel like dying so I don’t have to deal with what life is giving me. I miss her so much

      • Yani  April 15, 2019 at 4:52 am

        My grandad died last week I understand I’m so sadden idk what to do 8049978496 text me if u have a iPhone my phone off I need advise

      • Tammy  May 23, 2019 at 9:20 am

        I talked to my papa everyday and everyday he would ask when I was coming to see him and this week I told him Wednesday. Wednesday came and I was tired from running errands and doctors appointment with my kids I was crossing the freeway to get home and he called he sound just like a robot he wanted to know if I was coming today I pulled over because I thought about turning around and I said I’m tired I will come tomorrow for sure I always feel bad when I don’t go visit him when I tell I am but today was different I shook the feeling and started on dinner and then I get a call from my momma(my granny) til this day I feel he waited for me and I didn’t show up. My papa was my dad it’ll be a year next month. I cry so much when my 5yr old sees me crying she says let me guess papa right and she gives me a hug and goes to her to room and plays with her brother so he won’t bother me. I don’t talk to his side anymore because they would rather keep the man who raped me around and my aunt would rather be with a man who likes young girls and tried to rape me in middle school the only reason I knew better was because his son actually raped me in elementary and I’m not bringing my daughter around that toxic mess. So to me I have no family just me it’s been that way since HS but some family like to forget and blame my boyfriend

    • Keila  April 5, 2019 at 3:16 am Reply

      My grandma passed away Sunday morning, she lives 7 hours away from me I’m a mes student and I didn’t have enough Will to call them regularly.
      She took care of me trough out my childhood and she and I had one of the biggest connections I’ve ever created with a human being.
      A few years ago she started getting tired and having lots of trouble with her health so we should take her to the doctor and they would always tell us that there was nothing wrong with her that she had to control her diabetes, so time passed and she’ll become less interested in life we thought she was depressed and I remember being so angry that she didn’t want to go to the psychologist.
      I thought she was hypochondriac, the last time I spoke to her the phone call got interrupted so I never got to say goodbye to her.
      We never knew she had ovarian cancer the last weeks of her life she didn’t move from her bed but I didn’t know how bad the situation was so I didn’t visited.
      I feel so guilty because she and my brother are the most important humans In my life and now she’s gone and i wasn’t good enough for her… I didn’t deserve her.
      I feel like dying so I don’t have to deal with what life is giving me. I miss her so much and I need her here with me

    • Trevor RIchwine  April 18, 2019 at 12:55 pm Reply

      Stay positive, my Grandpa passed away from a falling tree, I was so shocked. Still can’t get over it, just hope and pray. Remember they are in heaven!

    • julie a bowlin  May 20, 2019 at 12:45 pm Reply

      this happend to me my grandmother woke me up and told me my grandfather was gone i did not react i didnt cry until about a month later i was 13 my 14th birthday was less than a month away

  71. Case Addison  April 3, 2019 at 10:49 pm Reply

    My grandpa died in 2015 and I was only 10 and I’m 13 and it still bothers me I cry my eyes out when I listen to the songs we listened to together or I think of him or see pictures I’m crying right now just trying to type this. I remember me and him would go fishing every time I came over and we clean them and fry them the same day he was one of the only people that I went to that I could trust but life is hard now. No one knows how much I still think about him. I love him and I can’t wait to see him in heaven. He is always gonna be in my heart. I don’t care what others say about it. I know he is sitting by me for the rest of my life till I die. I won’t forget him I love him more than anyone I don’t know when I will get over him but he was my favorite. I love you pappy 😭❤️ Hope you are catching the biggest fish up there and having the best time up there you deserve it💯👍❤️

    And for anyone else who is struggling with their loss I’m sorry that is just God said it is time for him/her to go and you will see them one day just be patient love your life and have fun and just pray to them every night just a few minutes is all it takes. I understand your pain but it will be alright ❤️💯👍

    • Evi  April 16, 2019 at 12:18 am Reply

      So so sweet of you. You are a very emotional person. I can relate to that. Be strong, be happy because that’s what your pappy would like for you. God bless you dear.🙏🏼❤️

  72. Victoria  April 13, 2019 at 2:39 pm Reply

    My paternal grandmother just died today… I wish I had known her better, I only have one memory of visiting her and eating fried chicken. I know she was a sweet old lady, and that her and my dad were close. I don’t know what to say to my father, I’m 1,000 miles away from any of my family and I know he’s having a hard time.

  73. Melinda  April 13, 2019 at 4:57 pm Reply

    My Nonna passed 23 years ago and it still feels like yesterday. I have cried on and off for all of these years. It really broke a piece of my heart deeply. She influenced my life in such a profound way. She was a second mother to me and my favorite person to spend time with. I’m 38 now and feel that I didn’t quite get to appreciate all that she was and could have taught me- I was only just starting to become curious about our roots and speaking Italian. Over the past 5 years I reconnected with her entire side of the family in Italy and took 3 months to go there and learn about the family I never had a chance to meet when I was younger. I would only ever hear select stories and admire the paintings of the Amalfi Coast on her vases. I taught myself italian and can speak with and understand the family there – it definitely brought me closer to her once again and filled a piece of my heart that has been missing for a long time. I visit her resting place and tell her stories of my trips to Italy. She appears in my dreams often. I love her so much and I look forward to the day I reunite with her- for now I know she is my angel and watches over me. You never stop missing and loving those who were important to you. Keep their memory alive and they’ll always be with you. Xo

    • Dale  April 29, 2019 at 2:14 pm Reply

      My grandfather (dad’s dad) died on April 19, 1999 and my other grandfather (mom’s dad) died 10 days later. I feel like I died 20 years ago too. I’ve been waiting for the day I can feel normal again…I’ve been waiting for 20 years already, but it feels like 2 weeks.

  74. Kristi Keeling  April 23, 2019 at 2:19 pm Reply

    I just lost both of my grandfathers with in 16 days of each other (March 31sth and April 16th). I know they were aging, but the loss of them both so close to each other has drastically impacted my ability to concentrate at work and I would rather be with my family that across the country at work. I am 43 so the losses shouldn’t impact me this way, but I loved them both. They were like brothers to each other.

  75. Rahul Rangaraju  April 24, 2019 at 10:40 pm Reply

    I never realized how much my grandmother meant to me until the past couple of days. She is not expected to make it past the 26th and she hasn’t woken up in the past 36 hours. I just want her to wake up one more time so I can tell her how much I love her.

  76. Keith Mcallister  April 26, 2019 at 9:00 pm Reply

    My grandfather passed suddenly yesterday evening. Idk I’m still in shock. He wasn’t just a grandfather but a second father and my best friend. We talked several times a day about everything and anything. We even talked 3 times that day. The last time we talked he told me “it was his time, and that he had 2 go.” My grandmother called me 30minutes later screaming. His heart had given out. It was so unexpected. 1 day ur discussing going 2 the range and next hes gone. There isn’t an area in my life that he wasn’t a part of. I’m trying 2 stay strong 4 my grandmother uncle and father but I myself feel drunk and lost.

    • anon  May 2, 2019 at 9:02 am Reply

      Hey, I’m 15 and experiencing a very similar loss. My grandfather who passed away 3/31/19 loved me more then anything, and I idolized him. Growing up I would come home in tears because I wanted to have a father-daughter relationship, my dad passed away the month of my first birthday. With my Poppop, I finally had it. He called me everyday throughout the day, and the last time we talked I didn’t say I loved him, which I always do. He was my father figure and my best friend, and it gives me a bit of closure knowing that I’m not the only person who’s experienced this feeling. I’d never wish it on anyone, but knowing it’s happened to others makes me feel a little less alone. Thank you for sharing your story.

  77. m  April 28, 2019 at 9:26 am Reply

    My grandfather suddenly passed on April 26th. This is the hardest I’ve ever had to go through. He was the glue, he was a father of my dad and my 3 uncles, he had a lovely wife who I love so so much, he was the foundation for us. His death has not torn us apart but it’s brought us closer. I’m not dealing with it very well though. I’m struggling to even smile. My brain hasn’t been able to comprehend what has happened yet and I still don’t believe it has happened. It’s only been 2 days without it him and the days feel like hours. The hours feel like years.

    • Becky Rodriguez  April 29, 2019 at 5:16 pm Reply

      I lost my grandfather on 4/9/19… i am 43 years old. Up until my grandpa died my entire family was still intact. My heart is so broken. This my first experience with death with an extremely close family member. The intense waves of grief are unbearable. With each day it gets a little better. I just wish my brain would tell my broken heart 💔

    • S  April 29, 2019 at 8:40 pm Reply

      I also just lost my grandfather the other day. I am still in college, so I won’t even be able to go home to see my family until services are held in about a week. It’s been difficult for me so far since I am not one to share my feelings with others, nor do I like to have people worry about me. I have just been bottling up my emotions while everyone around me goes about their normal daily lives, and it is honestly a little frustrating. I keep thinking of the all the things I should have done, said, or asked him before he passed. It really sucks since I’ve never dealt with feelings like these before, but I believe I will feel better once I can finally go home and grieve with my family. And I hope the services will help provide some closure. I really loved my grandfather and I will miss him dearly.

      • Becky Rodriguez  May 8, 2019 at 4:49 pm

        Tomorrow will be a month my “My Papa” left this place we call earth. I miss his belly chuckle, his smile, his saying “ Don’t take no wooden nickels” My heart still breaks, for you first timers it does get a little better every day… but sometimes you get intense waves of grief…. it’s ok we all grieve differently. Just keep the memories close to your heart. I miss “My Papa” and I am waiting to visit my papa in my dreams… I can’t wait….. 💔💔

    • Amelia  May 5, 2019 at 9:12 am Reply

      Hey, my beloved Grandad passed away on 25/04/19. I’m 14 years of age, and it would be lovely to talk to someone, going through a similar situation. Feel free to email me, my email address is:


    • Amelia  May 5, 2019 at 9:14 am Reply

      Hey, my beloved Grandad passed away on 25/04/19. I am 14 years of age, and it would be lovely to talk to someone, who is currently going through a similar situation to me. Feel free to email me, my email address is:


  78. Susy  May 2, 2019 at 2:14 am Reply

    My paternal grandma and,a just passses unexpectedly on April 27 2019 , and it’s been hard for everyone. Everyone is in shock still or denial. Now I have one grandparent left. The good thing is I have a lot of good meteorites of my grandma.

    • Sarah  May 3, 2019 at 11:21 pm Reply

      What was his name I just lost my grandfather I think the same day u did his name was Lawrence Wallace

  79. Ds  May 5, 2019 at 11:37 am Reply

    My grandpa would’ve been 93 today. He died in 2011. I had a dream about him last night and it was awesome. I always pray for dreams with my grandparents and I finally got one but now I’m sad because I wish I could be celebrating with him here on earth. I feel like I will never get over his death and get upset when I cry because he always said crying won’t fix anything. I told my mom about it but then I make her cry but she helps me a lot. I’m 25 years old now and it’s been almost ten years. I guess I will never get over it.

  80. Sandeep  May 20, 2019 at 1:31 am Reply

    I lost my grandpa 5 days ago at the hospital. He was more like a father to me than a grandparent. All through the years, he was always there. Now that he is gone, I feel numb. I knew his passing was coming, he was 89 and slowly deteriorating in health, but his passing just feels like a knife through the heart. Every morning i wake up with a heavy heart knowing he is not there anymore. Whatever happiness was there in my childhood was because of him.

    I just wish i would have spent more time with him in his last years. Instead I was drowning myself tackling with my own problems. Now i just talk to myself as if i am having conversations with him, believing that he is on the other end listening to me. Yes he did live a good life and did whatever he wanted to do.

    I wish if there was a next life. I wish that he is my grandpa again.

  81. Zoe  May 22, 2019 at 4:31 am Reply

    I lost my grandad three days ago I grew up being so close to him and still was right till he passed. He’s death wasn’t unexpected he had prostate cancer and Alzheimer’s so although he’s death is a slight relief it hasn’t made it any easier I was the first one to see him and I had to make the phone call to tell my nan and dad hardest phone call I’ve ever had to do and I hope to god I never have to do again but I’m so confused right now I loved my grandad and I cried when I found out he had passed and I sat with him and talked and said my goodbyes before anyone else got there but when everyone else got there and the last couple days since I’ve not been able to cry and I feel like such a shitty person and I had a laugh with a friend on the phone last night and I felt so bad for being able to laugh and joke around I don’t no what’s wrong with me

    • Matt  June 20, 2019 at 5:30 am Reply

      Hey Zoe, i lost my granddad tuesday morning around 4am. It is the hardest thing ihave ever experienced.. i still can’t believe it and feel as if i can still go see him or wake up from this bad dream. His rosary is tomorrow and funeral is on Friday. I don’t think anything is wrong with you not being able to cry and for having a laugh on the phone. You got to say your goodbyes and have closure. I still am crying and alarge part of it is because idid not get to say goodbye. Although i knew it was coming, he suffered from Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. Iwas and still am in shock and denial that he has passed. Ikeep wishing and praying that icould have said my goodbyes. It feels like ican’t accept it because of that. Hopefully after the rosary that changes. Ijust finished writing him a long letter that still doesn’t sum up the things iwanted to say to him. I’m sorry for your loss, if you need to talk to someone ithink it might help.. maybe me more than you ha. Ijust feel so confused, lost, and like it didn’t really happen. Does it get any better after amonths time or is it the same as the day it happened..? when itry to not think about it ifeel awful like i am abandoning him and don’t know whats right out wrong.

    • claudia  October 15, 2019 at 9:51 pm Reply

      Nothing is wrong with you darling. Losing someone is hard. Your grandpa would want you to smile and laugh with your friends. That’s exactly what he would want, because he loved you so much and he knows what’s in your heart. Keep him in your memories.

  82. Gerald Zenelaj  May 29, 2019 at 5:03 pm Reply

    My grandpa died at November 17, 2018. It was Saturday. When I came from vacations in the end of August, my mom and grandma told me that the grandpa’s health its not good, he doesnt eat, doesnt drink anymore,,and sclerosis is back to him again. He was 92 years old. He lived a long amd happy life. He was a veteran of WW2, General army. He have many medals. He and me have such strong connection with each other, till I was a young kid. He raised me with love and care, with a good education and a kind heart to give love and not to cheat on others. He was very calm when speaking, joking sometimes, but very in peace. never spokes to me with harshness. I had dreams of him like he died, Ive always seen this dream till I was a kid, and this dream scared me a lot everytime I seen it. My grandma tells me that this dream represent that his life will be long…and really he lived good 92 years without problems at all. When I saw him last 2 months of his life, I felt so bad he was so skinny and doesnt eat. I loved when I cut his hair, or shaved his beard..or eyebrows ( he wanted always to take care of his eyebrows). When He died, I was way home to grandma with my dad and mom, but we arrived 5-10minutes late. I used to be at his home everyday, almost. It was like a routine for me, after their home, and then to my home. When he passed away, no more happiness for me. I feel such terrible sometimes when I see his photo..k cant believe he is not here with us, that lovely face. at least I saw him in dreams..couple of times. Last time was like I cried when I saw, and he told me in dream: dont cry nepweh…i know..i miss you too.:’/ and then he gave me a hug. When I woke up I felt so much better

  83. Kay Rundel  June 1, 2019 at 6:56 pm Reply

    My grandma just died today! She passed away early this morning from severe sepsis and Cdiff. It is very hard!

  84. Brandon Marino  June 2, 2019 at 11:43 pm Reply

    I lost my grandmother on April 20th, 2019. I still am not over it. Sorry for all of your losses. There is no way to get over it. You just have to be numb.

  85. Ena  June 3, 2019 at 6:15 pm Reply

    I lost both in a period of three weeks during this spring. They are terribly missed and I can not get used to the fact that they are not here anymore. They had a long and happy life and lived till 82, but that is no consolation and means nothing to me when I enter their home and it is empty and cold. I simply think the language and any other way of expressing through the human logic is too poor to help me picture these feelings of loss…

  86. Madeline  June 7, 2019 at 4:20 am Reply

    I was 12 now 14 when my grandfather passed away almost two years ago from liver cancer. And I can tell you it was the hardest thing I had to go through. I remember seeing how weak and tired he was and it just broke my heart..He was my best friend and I was his first grandchild. We had such a unique bond that I will cherish forever.

    I remember our family would go on these trips up to the beach or to a park and just hang out for hours. Since he has passed, we haven’t done anything like that since and our family is very distant with each other now. It’s insane to see how much changes in a second when you lose someone so loved. I wish all the best to the families and friends who are dealing with the same thing. Thoughts and prayers to all of you.

    • Mia  September 24, 2019 at 3:49 am Reply

      2nd November 2016 my Nain (witch is my Mums mum) passed away from cancer, back in 2013/14 she has diagnosed with breast cancer. But later on in 2014 her husband had to have heart surgery so it made everything much harder for her anyway fast forward a few months in 2015 I think it was she was then diagnosed with another 3 cancers💔. We didn’t really know what to expect after we we’re told this but not long after she was diagnosed the second time she was given a death bed, she peacefully passed away with my mum, uncle Ian and her husband around her.
      10th January 2019 my Great gran passed away she was 98! She was just such an amazing woman who I will forever love but god I miss her so much right now. I was only just turning 12!! When my Nain passed away and she actually passed away 8 days before my 12th birthday. Now I’m 14?nearly 15 and I’ve lost my great gran too💔. My great gran had a lot of things wrong with her at this point she had sepsis , dementia and really all together she was 98 at the end off the day. But I loved my grandparents with all my heart and I’m now in Year10! And I thought it would be different I thought maybe the pain off loosing them both might have settled down a little bit but I seems it hasn’t. I’m really struggling at the moment 💔

  87. IO  June 27, 2019 at 8:25 pm Reply

    My Grandpa has died today June 27, 2019, from old age. He was a great person in my life and I have only seen him once in my life and I already miss him. All I know is that he is in a better place now.
    God Bless Everyone.

  88. Drishti  June 28, 2019 at 6:34 am Reply

    I’ve lost my Grandpa on Sunday night, he was admitted at the hospital since Tuesday morning. He had Diabetes and then he got water in the lungs. We all thought he would be ok in a few days as he usually does but this time it was different, he passed away and it is a terrible shock for me. I got loads of support with my fiance, my family and my cousin who came immediately to help during the funeral. Personally, what’s triggering me is that I was the last one to get out of the hospital room and I could see his pain and how he was suffering. I wanted him to see my wedding next year and the last thing my grandfather said is and he was only next to him, he could not turn his neck well as he performed a dialysis 15 mins before that. I could not stop watching his face till the door. I could see him sleeping in pain and the way he was breathing. In the other hand, I am happy he passed away in peace as he was suffering and I know he is in God’s hand now. He is well in paradise. My grandfather was a good person and helping everyone. He contributed during events to help people. I am sad that we have lost such a pure soul like him. I miss you, grandpa, you are and will be forever in my heart. I love you

    • Mario Delucchi  July 2, 2019 at 5:24 am Reply

      September 27th 2006 i lost my great grandfather at age 12 then my great grandmother July 5th 2015 at age 18. I am the first great grandson on my mother’s side and I’m very distant with them now I’m 22 and I cry at the drop of a dime with them in thought. I can’t wait to see them both in heaven that’s how it felt in their presence very godly and spiritual.

  89. Nissa  July 10, 2019 at 10:41 pm Reply

    My grandma passed away in late May of this year. This was my second grandparent death as i experienced my first when i was on 9 and now am 12. It was very hard to see both grandparents pass but even more so now because i have a better understanding of what was happening. I never really had a real grandparent figure as my one set of grandparents lived 5 hours away and the ones just down the street had never left their house in about 30 years because of long term depression caused by the loss of a child (my aunt). The most helpless i’ve ever seen my grandma was in the hospital and she could barely pick up a glass of water on her own. My parents got married very late in life so i am experiencing many deaths a lot earlier than many of my friends. Today i texted my grandmas number and told her how much i missed her and loved her. I wish nothing more than to have her back but i know she’s not suffering and is in a good place.

  90. laqueisha  July 12, 2019 at 1:01 am Reply

    i lost my grandma yesterday. I loved her so much like she was my mom. I wish i couldve been there with her. I love u grandma always and forever and cant wait to see u again.

  91. Tara  July 21, 2019 at 5:48 pm Reply

    My grandma passed away peacefully on July 8th. It was a huge shock to us all, even tho she was 85 and had been preparing to die for a few years. She even had her will and death plans sitting on her table “incase” something happened to her and we found her. LOL. SHe was a funny lady and stubborn as hell! Such a great lady with so many stories. She was in hospital and it was a bizarre set of events that got her there. We will never truly know the truth of what happened, it seems as though she had a fall and a mix of a sleep aid in her system (nytol) made her mentally off. She was actually planned to be discharged the following day and i was cleaning her apartment that evening to get it ready for her. My uncle left the hospital at 730pm and within 1.5 hours my Grandma had died! 🙁 We don’t even know why or how. Its so strange. I think she was just ready to go, even though all her tests were normal; CT scan and MRI good, blood tests fine. It was a shock. We are all so heartbroken and sad. She was the matriarch of our family and is missed so very much. We never feel like we have enough time or there was so much more we wanted to know or talk about. I just hope she “‘visits” me from time to time in her afterlife, She looked forward to joining “HMS Paradise” 🙂 Love you forever and miss you forever Gma xoxoxo

  92. Miss you!  July 21, 2019 at 10:59 pm Reply

    My grandad passed away 4 days ago. He was the nicest and most caring perosn I have ever met. He truly had a special soul and I am so glad I have been able to know him. Of course I really realized this after he passed. In the recent years, I have drifted away from him , because of what I think was my teenage moods lol🤪 anyway, it has really hurt me hard. It was both expected and unexpected. His service was today and everyone shared stories of their time with him. My brother and I are his only grandkids and people have continued to tell me “he was such an incredibly man”. God. I can’t stop crying because I had never even taken the time to notice how much he loved me. My heart is filled with sadness and regret. I would give absolutely anything to sit down with my grandfather and tell him how much he meant to me! My grandma has Alzheimer’s, and he always took SUCH great care of her. He truly was an amazing man and I wish I could have realized that while he was still here. He was so proud of me, is what everyone said today. He used to call me ( when he called to reach my dad but just ended up chatting with me instead). We would talk about my softball season or my new school or anything in between. Wow. I love him. This is crazy. And I miss him even more. What hurts my heart even mote is he will never see me start high school, or get married or start a career. I miss you Grandad. I love you more than the world. Keep playing golf up there with all your friends!! See you somewhere over the 🌈 🙂 xooxoxox

  93. My grandad 💗💗💗💗  July 21, 2019 at 11:01 pm Reply

    In addition, as I’m sure some of you know, the 20 year old actor Cameron Boyce passed away in his sleep a few weeks ago. That broke my heart because of how his family must be feeling and how much life he had left to live. When my grandpa died in his sleep a few days ago, my heart was devastated. Absolutely shattered. And felt numb . My grandpa did so much for me that I was unable to appreciate. I will love him forever and spend the rest of live thinking of him. I love you!

  94. Stephanie Ann Fernandez  July 23, 2019 at 2:11 am Reply

    My Nonny (grandma) passed away on June 8th. I am devastated. It’s been over a month but it was such a shock. She died of a brain aneurysm. She was happy and healthy and then she was gone with no warning. She was the best person I knew. We had weekly lunches when I wasn’t working and we planned to have lunch the week before once I stopped working on June 5th. We had so many plans.
    Now I have trouble seeing and talking to my grandpa without breaking down and crying. He is very sad that he lost his partner of 61 years and says it was not enough time. I agree with him. It’s never enough time regardless of age. I want to stop crying when I’m around him but I cannot help myself. My parents are taking a different approach, almost as if it never happened and keep my grandpa surrounded so even if I wanted to try and talk to him, I really can’t. I just miss her, she was one of the few people in the family who understood me and didn’t make me feel like an outsider. I just really miss her.

    Any advice on how I can support my grandpa would be great. I don’t want to pretend that everything is fine because I know it isn’t.

  95. Ra  July 24, 2019 at 1:18 pm Reply

    My granddad passed away September 2018 & I’m still having a hard time processing that he’s never coming back. You never know how much a person mean to you until they aren’t here anymore. Through him being sick & his health declining he never forgot who I was. Although it’s been a little over 10 months since he’s been gone his passing seems to be hitting me harder now that I’m engaged and pregnant. I just always thought that he would be around to see & experience these moments. I’m saddened more than words can ever explain that he won’t be here to witness these moments because I know he would be so happy. I just hope that he’s okay & happy on the other side. 💔

  96. Pepaw; The Man, The Myth, The Legend  July 27, 2019 at 4:51 am Reply

    My grandfather (Pepaw as we called him) passed away a week ago as of yesterday. We knew that the cancer that he had was spreading and getting worse, but we didn’t expect him to go so soon. The week before, everything was ok, it was just getting a little harder for him to walk. As the week progressed, I tried my best to visit there everyday. On Thursday, (the day before his passing) the doctors said that there was nothing they could do about what was happening with his body except add tubes into his lungs to help the fluid drain, but it wasn’t guaranteed to work. He could either do that, or take the comfortable route until he passes. He decided to take the comfortable route and go home the next day. The next morning, he was very unresponsive. He would sleep off and on and wouldn’t say a word when he woke up. At about 8 p.m. that night, he passed. I was so devasted and sad. I wish I had spent more time with him than I already did. I love him. I miss him. I want him to be back. But at least his suffering is over and where he is now, he can’t get sick anymore and he doesn’t have trouble walking. I love and miss you Pepaw so so so so so much. Rowdy misses your Pepaw glue (his kisses). I just wish I could hug you one more time.

  97. Soltan  August 1, 2019 at 7:11 am Reply

    I am currently in the process of losing my grandparent my grandpa. He was 70 years old. His currently in a coma but things had gotten worse and he had to attend brain surgery. We thought everything would be good from the tests but suddenly the tables turned and he might not last till sunset. I loved my grandpa and l wish he could still be here next to me. But l guess nothing can last forever.

    • Tobias  August 2, 2019 at 4:17 pm Reply

      The exact same happened to me today, mine was 69 and struggling with both blood poisoning, COPD and pneumonia

  98. Selina Dakers  August 8, 2019 at 2:10 am Reply

    This is excellent information about moving with grand parents. Thank you for your post.

  99. Calgirl  August 27, 2019 at 2:04 am Reply

    I am 67. I lost my most beloved maternal great-grandmother when I was 8. I still think of her contemporaneously b/c she was my”babysitter” on the family dairy farm while all the other working adults around me were gone all day. She was an artstic and intelligent Quakeress who gave me everything that made me who I am today. She championed education for her daughters, granddaughters and great-granddaughters in a time when not many did. She spent her hens’ “egg money” to pay for piano lessons, and private highschool for her daughters and granddaughters…..Dear ones, grief never goes away and I am the poster child for this. However, grief might include a thankfulness for those who made us the people we are today, which fosters a feeling of continuous contact through the years with our dearly beloved and departed ones. I dedicated my Master’s thesis to her and went on to earn an AB Doctorate because of her. She was born in 1879 and her legacy came to me, passed on to my children, and now my grandchild. I still grieve the loss of this woman for whom we’ve observed 140 yr. birthdate, but I can hold her close to my heart in thankfulness and joy, and even my children and grandchild knows who she was and the love she gave our family into even our own century.

  100. Michelle Matale  September 2, 2019 at 2:11 am Reply

    My grandma passed on in july. I truly miss her since she was so close to me. The devastating part is that she is the one who raised me since i was young. I lost my grandpa 2 years ago and with her gone now, its really sad. I just hope that they are ok whereever they are and are free from the burdens of the world.

  101. Loveyougrandpa  September 21, 2019 at 4:45 pm Reply

    My grandad passed away 11 years ago. He was my everything, he was like a father for me, we were so close… My parents were abusive and he made my childhood beautiful, when I have a difficult day I imagine I am with him. I think about him every day of my life and give thanks for being his grand daughter. I miss him si much, I am still grieving his loss… He always Will be my angel.

  102. Mike  October 1, 2019 at 1:54 pm Reply

    I’ve lost my Gma around 6 years ago and honestly it hasn’t gotten any easier. She was my mom, my best friend, just the person I speak to about everything, when I was angry at the world, she would let me vent and some how know what to say. I have my mom and I love her to death but there’s nothing like my Gma, I am the first born grandchild. She had two girls, so when my mom had me, I was my gma first boy. Every time something goes bad in my life, I pick up the phone and realize my gma is gone. I wish I could speak to her at least. I have so much pain, and I feel like nobody understands me, it’s either you’ll get over it, or they know how I feel. I wish there was a way to feel better

  103. London Jones  October 3, 2019 at 4:59 am Reply

    I am still grieving since my grandma passed on 30 years ago. It still hits hard drive and hurts like a knife.

  104. Aurora  October 6, 2019 at 8:41 pm Reply

    My grandmother died last month from cancer. Out of all my grandparents, I was closest to her. She was a bit strict, so while she was alive I complained about that. She came during the summer of this year to visit, and I didn’t talk to her as much as I should’ve. She felt sick, and she left early. The next day my family heard that she had cancer. During the last months of her life, I didn’t feel that upset. It hadn’t fully sunk in. Only a day after her death did it sink in, and I couldn’t stop my heart from aching. Just when I think that I got over it, there’d be something she left at my house in the bookcase or on the table, and it would kick start my grief again. I’ve never had to deal with a death of a loved one, and now I know how much it hurts.

  105. Amber  October 14, 2019 at 3:36 am Reply

    I lost my “Mimi” – (my maternal grandmother) on October 9, 2019. She lived 70 strong years. I’m grateful for the memories I can cherish with her. There is so much I could type but I feel numb typing just this much. All I can say is I miss her and I am not looking forward to carrying this grief for the rest of my life.

    • Sharon  November 10, 2019 at 3:43 am Reply

      I understand you so well as I just lost my grandmother. 1/11/2019 . And it’s heartbreaking and I feel the same I don’t know how to live life with out her . I was with her every weekend . Work and my nan . I lost my grandad only 6 months ago too ans have not been able to sea with that as had to look after my nan , I excepted her to be here a couple more years . Take care and know I feel your pain x

  106. Alison Stobart  October 17, 2019 at 5:58 pm Reply

    I lost my beloved Grandpa 23.08.19, the day before my wedding 😓 his final wish was for us to have a wonderful day and do him proud which we did – but all I wanted to do was grieve. We had a week away afterwards so I was able to write my tribute to him that I read at the funeral. I’m so grateful to have been part of his life and support him as best I can but omg I miss him SO SO much. I didn’t realise how much of a companion he was to me. Every Friday my son and I would go and hang out at my grandparents Or Ggs as he called them (great grandparents) – share ideas, talk, lunch, listen to music.. he cared for Gma so well with her severe dementia bless her. So hard to clear their house and hand it over so we can never go there again (on a private estate)… it’s really hit me hard (first loss) and finding it hard to focus on life and future. I know he’d want me to be happy but without him here I’m finding that so hard. Reassuring that I’m not alone so thanks for sharing your stories. My love goes out to all of you xxxx

  107. Ashley  October 24, 2019 at 4:16 am Reply

    We lost my grandmother 10/16/2019. It marks a week for us. My grandmother was a second mother. She raised 5 strong and healthy grandchildren for our parents while they were out supporting us financially. We all love her so dearly. I grew very close to her and took care of her for about a decade before she needed more care than I could give having two small children and my mother and aunt took over.
    I’m having a very difficult time as this is the first major death in my family. She was two days from her 6 months to 102. She was born 4/18/1918. One of my coping mechanisms is to mention that she had a very LONG and PROSPEROUS life, making a successful life in America after escaping concentration camps in Germany. I do this when I talk to others, mostly to minimize the risk of them using it on me… I say a coping mechanism because I make sure to mention to anyone that will listen that I KNOW she lived a long and fulfilling life. But that doesn’t make anything easier.
    I have YET to have a moment to myself that isn’t at 3am before having to wake up at 6am to get to work. I’m at a loss of how to cope with this. I know it will get easier.
    The days following her passing were hard because it tested my faith as a Christian. She came to me in my dreams, with my grandfather, who I never knew as I was 9 months old when he passed. They told me how they will still be there for us and will still celebrate in all the family’s accomplishments but it will be much sweeter as they will do it together. I took this as a sign. I was able to rest easier knowing she is there in Heaven and they are with us through everything. But now that my faith has been reassured, I find myself just missing her intensely.
    I’m trying to find ways of coping with the grief that is following me once my little ones and husband are sleeping. Please share what makes things easier for you.

    • Bailey  November 4, 2019 at 1:01 pm Reply

      I just lost my papa, we did expect it and he was sent to Hospice. I seen him in the hospital and hospice and knew him very well, we were close. I live two hours away from my home and when I arrived home for a visit, he had a stroke and couldn’t speak. He was on morphine to keep him comfortable though, and he actually wakes up when he sees my mom, me, dad & sister. Although he couldn’t move he listened to me & my sister. I hugged and cuddled with him as I did, he turned his face into mine and smile barely. I told him i loved him and everything, he tried talking but we told him he didnt need to we already know he loves us. It’s been two days since then and he passed this morning. I hope his first day in heavin is a great one. -Bailey

  108. Liisa  October 25, 2019 at 6:50 am Reply

    My grandpa is in hospice. I’ve lost my grandparents on my father’s side , but he cut us out of his life so I wasn’t close to him. I lived with my mom’s parents for 21 years so my grandpa is more like my dad. My family lives on the east coast and I live in seattle and I go back tomorrow. It’s going to be so hard to be out there without any family near me when my grandpa dies.

  109. shannon kelly  October 29, 2019 at 9:13 am Reply

    I lost my grandad a month ago, he was the most amazing and inspiring man I knew growing up I saw him every weekend. he loved his family and we loved him, it was hard not to he was honest upfront and despite depression and tinnitus he could always put a smile on people’s faces. I keep getting told to just remember the good times but honestly I
    it makes things harder, In my family he was the one I could connect to the most our joint love of art music and computers brought us closer and he supported me in all i did. without him here I’m heartbroken and feels like a void has opened. this article helped a bit but it’ll have to be a wound that time needs

  110. Andrew Ward  November 18, 2019 at 6:42 pm Reply

    My Grandad was my hero, my Dad and my Grandad all rolled into one. A man of amazing integrity and kindness. One of life’s true gentlemen. I sat with him for the best part of 3 weeks after his diagnosis. Talked about old photos. Wrote down some of the things we said and tried to make sure I said all I wanted him to know- both verbally and in a couple of letters I wrote to him. I will miss him for the rest of my life. He meant the world to me and I would do anything for him. I hope you are at peace and resting you beautiful soul .

  111. Sasha  November 19, 2019 at 5:57 am Reply

    I lost my grandfather over three years ago now, and the thought of him brings tears to my eyes. The days leading up to his death were the worst days of my life. His laugh, smile, gentle hugs are missed dearly. I don’t know how I will ever get over this pain. I pray for strength and I believe that one day I will be able to see a picture of him without bursting into tears. I’m happy that he is no longer in pain and now as a family we are looking after Grandma. Seeing my Grandma without him is still an aching sight. I know she wants to appear strong because she is now head of the family but I know that she is still hurting inside. Growing up I was extremely close with him, possibly the closest Grandparent I’ve had therefore the loss was even greater. I miss him so much and would do anything just to have him back, even for a minute. xx

  112. ChatNoir  November 28, 2019 at 6:12 am Reply

    I just lost my Grandad two days ago and I only found out yesterday as he lived in Wales. One of the worst things about it is now we all have to use past tense, like now he doesn’t exist but he’s still in our hearts and heads and maybe even heaven. I didn’t know him that well because he wasn’t very emotional. He married my Gran when they were both in there 40s-50s and it was a second marriage for both of them. Even though he was my step Grandad I still love him so much, and I know that he loved me too, just had different ways of showing it. I lost my Opa just before Christmas in 2018 and my other Grandpa on my dad’s side died before I was born. I’ve only just started secondary school and it’s really hard for me because Grandad was so healthy and still working even though he didn’t need to anymore. He died instantly though, doing what he loved most:flying.

  113. Bebe  November 29, 2019 at 11:08 pm Reply

    My paternal grandmother died when I was around 4. My only memory of her was going to the hospital to say goodbye. I didn’t really understand it but I gave her a photo of myself to take to heaven. At that point I thought heaven was a place physical belongs went too. About 10 years later my paternal grandfather died but because my dad wasn’t around we didnt find out for probably a couple years later and I have no memories of him. My mom’s parents helped raised us so not only were they my grandparents they were more like parents. My grandpa died when I was 21 after battling cancer. He was 82. My grandma was 77 at the time and she was so devasted. They had 10 more years of traveling planned. So much more to do. After my grandpa died I got even closer with my grandma. She was a very indendepent, intelligent, wise woman. Slowly she had to be more dependent but we helped her out. In the past four years we went to outdoor park concerts, shopping, cooking and anything else she needed. We played cards and talked for hours. She used to stay up till one in the morning playing card games with me and my sister. I was closer to her then I am my mom. This summer we helped her move and she was still pretty healthy. September we got together for a meal at the dinning room at the assisted living home. Little did we know that would be the last time in before things went down hill. She fell two weeks later, which she had fallen the month before. But this time after the fall she was too weak. And for the rest if October she moved from hospital to hospice. The hospice was at her assisted living home which made it feel more at home. My sister, uncle and I took turns spending the next three weeks with her. We sat there for hours giving her company, watching her sleep, helping her with mostt anything. She always gave us so much. We knew what was coming and it didnt make it easier. I cried after the DNAR pink band was put on her. But those coming weeks she was still very mentally there so even though her body wasnt, it was like she was still here and part of me thought maybe she would recover. Even when it was official that her pace maker would be turned off. The day the pacemaker was turned off, uncles, aunts cousins sat around her bed to support her. She didnt die right then. And me, my sister and my uncle took shifts to be there for her. I had just left my 6am to 1pm shift and my sister was there when my grandma passed on 11/09/2019. Its been extremely difficult even thought I have had a lot of support. This week i have been crying more than ever with the holiday here. Everything makes me cry. Two years ago she called me up on black friday about some grocery store deals. So that’s been stinging all day. I miss her so much. I got whooping cough right before her death and my body cant heal very well because of how devasted I am. I am doing some self care and all but it’s like my body is reacting to this sadness too. My hearts so deep.

  114. Alexandru Sones-Dawkins  December 2, 2019 at 10:03 pm Reply

    I lost my Nana 2 days ago now (paternal). My family live in the UK but I’m on a study abroad in Spain so I can’t be with them as I have exams coming up. I am devastated. I only just lost my mum last year and haven’t fully come to terms with that – my Nana was like my second (or should I say first) mother. My mum was in prison from my infancy and My Nana took me to live with her and Granddad and youngest aunt to Canada until I was 5 years old and we came back to London (I then lived with my Dad, her son). I would at her house most weekends, half terms, holidays you name it until I was 16. I just turned 21. She was my guidance, the only person who never had me question their love for me. She was 57, I was born when she was 36 – so she was young and I thought she had years on her but she had some complications with a long term health problem and just started deteriorating. The last time I spoke to her I told her I love her so much and she was talking about how she was going to have a grand time in heaven. She knew. Im just heart broken. She was my first care giver, my first teacher, the person who taught me my first words, my colours, numbers. And now she’s gone and I’m trapped here. I don’t know what to do 😢😢😢😢

  115. OnDeane  December 8, 2019 at 7:02 pm Reply

    I just lost my Pop Pop December 4th at only 73. He’s the only positive male figure I have had my whole life. My grandparents raised me for the first years of life. When I was 8, my mother took me back. I never stopped spending time with my grandparents.
    I feel like my grandparents may have known an end was close. Maybe not how close. They’ve been having many “unusual” conversations with me with about their finances and wishes in the event of a death all year.
    My Pop pop was fairly healthy for a man with 1 lung (the other lost to lung cancer about 16 years ago)… as healthy as we’d expect for him.
    My grandmother would tell me bits and pieces of what was going on with him but I don’t believe she was telling me everything. I don’t believe he was telling her either. He caught a cold, stopped smoking, barely ate, and hasn’t left the house since October. He finally went to the doctor just before Thanksgiving and was diagnosed with pneumonia. I knew that was worst case for him. But I was hopeful. He’s had colds before. He’s fine. My grandmother said has was doing better the week of Thanksgiving. We had dinner at another family member’s house, without him. She said he couldn’t leave, he was recovering.
    Wednesday I received the call I never wanted. My grandmother called from the ambulance. I rushed to the hospital. They tried to resuscitate for a long time. Multiple attempts. He didn’t make it.
    I’ve found out so much in these past few days. He wasn’t feeling better. He actually wanted to go to the hospital at one point over the weekend but then changed his mind. My grandmother watched him change, deteriorate drastically, but she never told us. Sunday he ate very well according to her. Monday he went to the doctor again, they gave him steroids, new meds and a nebulizer treatment. He was doing better in the office. They decided give him a nebulizer. My grandmother didn’t want to drive so decided to ship it.
    The doctor also said if he wasn’t feeling better by Wednesday then to go to the hospital. He died at home Wednesday morning. In his bathroom.
    The nebulizer arrived Thursday.
    I’m sad. And I’m mad. I’m disappointed. I feel alone. I miss him so much already. I keep hearing his voice in my head. I don’t want anyone to touch his stuff, but my grandmother is just throwing stuff away. The things I would want, she won’t give me. I understand she’s grieving but so am I.
    I’m trying so hard not to be mad at her but when the “what if” thoughts start, I am.
    I know he wouldn’t want that.
    Honestly, I do he just didn’t want to worry us. He never complained about anything. He never wanted to be a burden. He quit smoking because he was scared. Of bad news. I think he just got tired. Of everything. Being sick, the doctors appointments for one thing or another. COPD, PTSD, near deaf…he was a Vet. I believe he tried to stay here, going to the doctor and taking meds, to appease us. But he knew. He knew this was the last time and wasn’t going to be here much longer.
    I would have wanted more time with him. I wouldn’t have left his side.
    I don’t believe there’s anything left unsaid between us. I take comfort in that. He knew I loved him. Even if I didn’t always tell him. I adored him. And eventhough I never really thought about it but also never doubted it, I’m finding out he felt the same way about me. He kept pictures of me everywhere. Seperate from the other pictures. I never knew. My grandmother found some today. I found some 2 days ago somewhere else. I even heard about how excited he was for me to be born from an older cousin. He was “my old man.”
    To not hear him anymore…not see him stroll around the corner in his Eagle’s gear or through the front door, that’s killing me. Who’s going to ask me about the weather while they’re looking right at through the window or ask me how my car is running eventhough I finally bought a brand new car last year (because I’ve been broken down 101 times). I feel like no one cares about me like him. Or for me.
    I wanted him to be there when I got married. I meet “the one” he was giving his granddaughter to. I knew his breathing was getting too bad to walk me, but he would at least see it. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. But now I don’t even see the point. I don’t know who I’m doing it for anymore.
    Instead “the one” and I are making all the arrangements as “the one” is also a funeral director.

    I hate all of this. I just want my Pop pop.

  116. ram srini  December 20, 2019 at 11:20 am Reply

    my grandma (maternal) passed away. she was 85 and lived in a little town in India. She had 5 kids ( my mom was second) And lost my grandpa about 10yrs ago. I am here in US now and can’t go to her funeral since it will take 48hrs to get there and I just returned from india last month. I feel devastated and deeply regret that I hadnt spent more of my life seeing her and being with her. She was always kind and courageous. She always blessed me when i spoke to her and told him I will achieve all my dreams. She knew how to inspire hope and help people live to their fullest potential. Her love , her affection would melt the heart of anyone. Her name was Laxmi . I miss you for ever grandma

  117. nina saric  December 24, 2019 at 6:21 pm Reply

    I just found out that my paternal grandfather had just passed away. My dad got a call from his sister, who lives in Switzerland but was visiting my grandparents and cousins who live in Croatia, and it was very unusual because it was late at night on xmas eve there and we typically wouldn’t talk to them until it was Christmas. News broke and it turns out my grandfather, our Dida (grandfather in Croatian), had passed away in the afternoon from heart problems. He’s always had heart problems/ some sort of disease, but he had nothing bothering him very significantly until the day of his death. He felt something hurting him, went to the hospital and had to have am emergency surgery, in which he had died. My dad and the rest of the family are devastated. We live in the US and only get to see them once a year, very rarely twice and it breaks my heart knowing that we never got to see him enough. I can only imagine what my dad is going though. His dad was one of the best people in his life. He raised him with so much love, care, and thought and was his biggest supporter. Their lives weren’t easy, and yet my dida still did everything he could to provide them with everything and anything he could. What makes the whole situation worse is how my dad and my brother were actually supposed to have been there, in Croatia with my grandpa and grandma for my brothers tryouts for the Croatia u14 boys national basketball team, but it turns out they didn’t need to because my brother only needed to attend the tryouts in April around easter. It kills me thinking if my dad and brother were there, something maybe could have played out differently in some way. I used to spend my whole summers with my dads side in Croatia, for months at a time. I even had my 1st birthday there. As I got older, my parents had 2 more kids, my sisters, after my brother and I and it became very hard to spend majority of the summer there and our time seeing them became limited. I really don’t know how I am going to get through this, my grandpa was always so good to me. He was only 69, and his birthday is in February. We are currently trying to get my grandma to stay with us for a few months, then she would live with my aunt (my dads sister) in Switzerland and rotate somehow. I feel so shocked, I’m only 15, my brother’s 12, my sisters are 8 and 4, and my youngest sister barely knew him. Ive always dreaded this. Many intrusive thoughts from the past would cross my mind if any of my relatives died, but I knew that wasn’t plausible since everyone seemed too young to pass, until now. My dads leaving after Christmas for the funereal, and we are currently searching for flights for him. My grandma didn’t want us (me and my siblings) nor any other children to come to the funereal because she doesn’t want to bother us and everyone believes that children are too young to be witnessing the death of a loved one. My mom insisted that at least one of us to go, but my dad isn’t allowing it. I’m in so much denial right now that I keep wishing this was some sick dream and none of this is real. But it is real. I don’t know how I can get passed this. Every time the thought of knowing my grandpa is now dead makes tears emerge for hours at a time. I already miss him so much. I hope that he is in heaven, at peace, looking down at us and knows that we love him and will always love him forever and are thankful for his presence in all of ours lives and the time we have spent with him. I love you, Dida, and miss you endlessly.

  118. Emilee win  January 19, 2020 at 11:45 pm Reply

    first off I want to say you are all NOT ALONE !
    It’s been almost 4 years of my grandmas passing and it’s the hardest thing for me . I have never been one to write or express my feeling for what I’m about uh t to do . My grandma was the glue to hold the family together , all 50 ish of us in one house . For about 5 months my grandma was in and out of the hospital, but she typically would go to hospital once or twice a year so it did not seem like something to worry about . Until it was about march and she was in the hospital for a month and then sent her to a nursery home for a week and then back home. A few weeks later she was back in the hospital this time in ICU area. My grandpa was someone I looked up to so much , total Christian but once my grandma got sick he abandoned her I felt like . He would visit her maybe an hour out of the whole day and she would be stuck there all alone . I would work 9 hours at work go straight to hospital stay there till midnight drive home an hour away go to bed get up bt 5 am and do it all over again. The last few weeks my cousin and I would go before and after work to see my grandma , we thought she was getting better she was cracking jokes and smiling and eating on her own . We would watch dancing with the stars with her at night staying up till about midnight with grandma. Then one day they said I’m sorry she needs to go to a different area. Her kidney and liver are failing , she doesn’t have long to live and she signed a dnr . The last week, I was visiting her even more , and she grabbed my hand looked at me and said , i am ready to leave . That broke my heart . The doctors said we are taking her off all medicines to keep her alive , but she will not feel the pain still . We had about 30 family members in one room , my grandma asked us to play a song , Christian song , and she sang and dance in her bed , told her she loved us as i stood next to her bed . She grabbed my hand then let go. Started coughing and grasping for air and then died right there. It’s been almost 4 years and I’m still not okay . I imagine it in my head all the time . I miss her so much. And on top of it my grandpa decided to start dating many woman after. Then married one and divorced her and married a lady my grandma never liked because she was a gold digger . And my grandpa threw everything of my grandmas away . Only letting us have certain items of hers but threw everything else away .

  119. Chris  January 28, 2020 at 2:10 am Reply

    I found this page in hopes it could give me some type of relief in dealing with my Grandpa’s recent death. I think the comments help more than anything, reading about people with similar stories. I was blessed to spend 29 years with my Grandpa. Not many people have that and I am grateful. However, something about cancer creates a somber, horrible feeling knowing someone you love is dying slowly. After my Grandpa’s cancer was missed and he completed a month of rehab. While there, he was having pain which we thought was a muscle spasm or arthritis. When released, he came back to our house because his wife (Grandma) was in the hospital with sepsis. It was a really rough time for my family. At our home, Grandpa began to decline within a day. My mom and I were changing, lifting, washing, etc. His weakness and pain were becoming worse. I sat with my Grandpa and told him of my plan to bring him back to a different hospital. I was scared he wouldn’t want to but to my surprise, he agreed and said he saw how much we were doing for him and knew something was not right. Long story short, he was admitted and diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. They gave him a few months. I was devastated knowing he only had so little time left with us. The hardest part of this all is that he wasn’t ready. Seeing your Grandpa cry and not want this is heart wrenching. My Grandpa was in hospice for two months. I visited him as much as I could, trying to maintain grad school, clinical, and work. I felt guilty I could not be with him every day. However, my mom was with him everyday and I truly admire her for taking care of him and making sure he was not alone. Every time I’d see Grandpa, he was a little thinner, weaker, and more soft spoken. The process of cancer is something I had not experienced first-hand. Watching your loved one starve and transform into someone you do not recognize is a form of torture. Even through the suffering, my Grandpa managed to hold a meaningful conversation with me, tell me he loved me, and always said goodbye with “I’ll be with you”. Then he and I would start crying. A few days before his death, I had planned on visiting but was swamped with homework. I told myself I would visit 2 days later on my day off from school and work. The next day, while at work, my mom called me and the whole family to rush to his side. We all sat with Grandpa, who was now mostly unresponsive from 2-10 pm. He was on a medication regimen for discomfort and breathing. Before leaving, my Grandpa said my name out loud. I ran to his ear and said “I’ll be with you, I love you Grandpa”. He died the next morning, a day before his 89th birthday. What I’m struggling with most is that I did not see him in the days before his death. I keep wishing I could go back in time, drop my life, and talk to him one last time. I feel angry in myself even though there were many times I visited. I hope I can move past this. I find some peace in knowing he is no longer suffering and got to celebrate his birthday in Heaven. My family and I have already received signs from him, one being on his birthday. The outside stereo turned on by itself blasting music a few hours after I posted a picture of him on our deck. I’d like the believe the dead send us signs and messages. I know this story is long, but I’m hoping it can help someone relate while helping me heal.

    • Casey  February 9, 2020 at 1:10 pm Reply

      Your story is so similar to mine. Thank you for sharing. It’s so tough, and cancer is so cruel. I wish I could spend every second with my dying grandmother (my grandfather just passed a little over a week ago). They both have (had) cancer.

      I pray you are also able to look past the guilt. It seems to be very normal part of grieving.

      May peace be with you and your family.

      • Chris  February 19, 2020 at 1:33 am

        Thank you so much for your reply Casey. It helps to hear I am not alone. The days are getting a little bit easier but reality does hit knowing he is not here or just sitting in his house watching his favorite shows. My grandma still lives in the house and will now come stay with us for days at a time to not be lonely. After I wrote my post, I attended my Grandpa’s funeral mass and burial with a Veteran’s ceremony. They played taps and presented my Grandma with the flag which was over his casket. I will never forget this and it did provide a level of closure for me seeing he is at peace. Grandparents are so special. Thank you again for your kind words.

  120. M  February 3, 2020 at 12:26 am Reply

    24-year-old here. My grandmother passed away recently. My family lives in Lebanon and I live in Canada for studies. I’ve lived here for 4 years and only visited them two years ago, and was planning a trip 4 months from now, and yet she left.

    Over the years she become progressively more and more sick. During her last years she’d need visits to the hospital days at a time for blood cleansing, and I can only imagine the boredom she must have felt sitting in those rooms without TV or family around most of the time. She passed away in the late hours of night on her hospital bed, and I woke up that morning to her death certificate in my family’s group chat.

    I felt like she truly was the glue holding one side of my family together growing up back home. The family would usually only meet up at her house for cooking or dinner, and now visits will truly never be the same. She had her kids visit her every day or two, so I get comfort knowing she had company at home.

    My only regret is not calling her enough and telling her I loved her, since I’d call her on average a month or so at a time (I’m not the most talkative to my family and am hoping to change that). I just know she loved me unconditionally, and would always remind me of that every time she sent voice messages to me or talked to me. She was a school/religious teacher to both young and old. She was a great cook. She was a woman with nothing but love to give for her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

    I’ve had a brief cry, but my feelings are currently somber. I take solace in believing she’s in a better place where she can’t hurt anymore. She’s the last grandparent I had that I’ve shared countless memories with, and I’ll never forget them. This experience makes me contemplate just how much time I have left with my parents and other relatives, and the amount of time I should dedicate to seeing them.

    Thank you grandma, for everything.

  121. Sarah O Brien  February 17, 2020 at 6:25 pm Reply

    My grandad past away suddenly on January 17th this year.
    I am completely out of sorts because it was so sudden, he had his breakfast an hour before and went out to feed his chickens and all.
    My dad (his son) was taking him to town to get his pension and a newpaper when he just collapsed and died a few minutes later peacefully in his sons arms. He was 85 years old.
    I cried a few different times during the few days of the funeral but I also forced myself to keep it together as I read a poem at the end of his mass and knew if I started crying I wouldn’t get through it. Now I’m wishing I just cried because the grief is ripping me apart ever since.
    I had visited him a few days previous and brought him his dinner as he only lived 30 minutes away.
    We are a small immediate family and have always been very close .
    My dad is an only child and has lived with or next door to my grandad all his life.
    It’s so hard, people will try to be as supportive as possible and I appreciate it so much but his passing has left a huge hole, I never got to say goodbye and every time I think of him I’m back to that day he died and the heartbreak associated with those memories.
    I want to deal with it better and remember the positive, fun times we as a family enjoyed with him.
    For now I need to remind myself to breathe and keep moving. 💔

    My deepest condolences to anyone in a similar situation. ♥️

    • Grace  February 29, 2020 at 6:52 am Reply

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I was in a similar situation. My grandmother who was 90, passed away in December. She was in good health and her death was unexpected. She was taken to the hospital because she had an mild infection and a few days later she passed away. I was studying in the UK and I didn’t have a chance to visit her before she passed away. I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to her but I know that she is watching over us.

  122. KB  March 5, 2020 at 5:51 am Reply

    The pain of losing a Grandparent is terrible. I miss my Grandmother so much. When my mother got married she took me in and raised me as her own. We shared a lot together and she is the one person who knew me and never misunderstood me. I still have my Mom but the connection is not the same, I guess because Granny raised me so I am more like her and most of my habits. The sad part is that they never got along so I was always caught between them and naturally take my Granny’s side.

    Now that She is gone (16 January 2020) I feel so heart broken and lost without her. Some days I am okay others I am crying like a baby. She was my cheerleader, believed in me and loved me. 2019 She spoke a lot about her living me and prepared me for her death. I made the effort to go look after her during her last days and it does not make it easier.

  123. Jason  March 5, 2020 at 8:57 am Reply

    My grandfather died this morning. He and my grandmother were always there. I know I’m very lucky in that I had both parents and two grandparents who were there for me growing up. I’m a male in my mid 30s, so in many ways I dont feel like I should be this sad. I’m a lawyer who always keeps my feelings in control. But I can’t today. I want to tell a little of his story.

    He was born in Oklahoma. He was taken to Colorado to escape the dust bowl by his parents. The house was too small for him and his brother so they spent two winters sleeping in an old trailer with only a bunch of bedding to keep him warm. He met my grandmother when he was 17 and she was 16. They were married within a year. And then completed high school. They were catholic and had five children. My mother was the youngest. In his life he Worked as a mechanic. Started his own business. Built 3 houses with his own hands. Was shot by my aunts High school boyfriend. Built an ultralight helicopter and flew it (poorly, without training and at high risk!). Tought this 36 year old (who feels like a helpless kid today) how to fish, travel and take care of family. … And many other things that I’m scared will be forgotten.

    • Brook  March 6, 2020 at 1:10 am Reply

      Thank you all for sharing your stories. My grandma passed away today and she was my best friend! She taught me how to drive, cook (when I paid attention), and just loved me with out any stipulations! I’ve never lost anyone close to me and all theses new feelings of grief comes in waves! I keep saying that because she was 82 I should be ok with it but it’s hard! This article and everyone’s comments have helped me to feel a little less alone!

  124. Hannah  March 5, 2020 at 6:45 pm Reply

    my nana passed away this morning while on a camping trip with my grandad and her closest friends, I got pulled out of school to be told the news and my world was crushed, it was so unexpected and she has recently on feb 12th just turned 65.

  125. Jayla  March 6, 2020 at 10:02 am Reply

    My papa passed away on March 5, what we think in his sleep as he was found in his recliner in his robe and hat in his living room. The heater was still on in his bedroom so I think he got up from his bed and went in there. I don’t know if he knew or not but he has been anxious about his declining health and heart troubles and was recently started on dialysis. Only on dialysis for 3 weeks and died the night of his final treatment. Every time he would go in the hospital or the ER he always made it out and ended up recovering but I knew this time was different he just seemed down. I think he was ready, he was tired. I am beating myself up because I hadn’t seen him since January as I live 3 hours from my hometown but I did call and FaceTime him often! The day before he died we talked twice. He told me he was feeling better and waiting on his ride to dialysis. I prayed every night for his healing and he got it. He got the ultimate healing. He was only 76 so it pains me to think he was young and I could’ve gotten just 5 more years or something but that’s just me being selfish because why would I want him here in the condition he was in. I play his voicemails over and over and I hope to have them placed in something so I can have for my 2 year old and future kids so that he will never be forgotten! I don’t ever want to forget his voice!! I know he knows how much I miss him but he is excited because he will be the first one at the Pearly gates Saying “hey hun” when I make my entrance! I love you papa!

  126. Rose  March 15, 2020 at 10:35 am Reply

    I recently found out yesterday around late afternoon QLD time that my pop passed away that morning
    I was going through feel board now
    Its much worse I feel sad guilt for not calling him and it’s been eating away at me I feel like a horrible selfish person he was my last living grandparent and it just hurts the loss but I feel so stupid the way I’m feeling he wa old and feel what I’m feeling wrong and stupid

  127. Em  March 18, 2020 at 7:02 pm Reply

    My Grandpa just passed last night and I am feeling so lost and broken. He had a minor complication but made it seem as though he was fine and in recovery when the truth was he was getting worse. He was like a dad to me and helped raise me from my early years. He was there for me when no one else was. I think I haven’t quite fully accepted the fact that he’s gone but it’s hurting so bad. We can’t hold a funeral for him due to the pandemic and I can’t fly home to comfort my mum or my grandma.

    • Warren Keith  March 19, 2020 at 2:48 am Reply

      Hi Em, I can fully relate to the loss of your grandpa. My grandmother passed away last Tuesday and I’m completely devastated. She played a huge role in raising me and she adored my son as did he share the same adoration for her. I have days where I feel that I’m ok, but nights are the worst. We had to reschedule her funeral due to the pandemic as well 🙁

    • Lau Mac  March 22, 2020 at 4:29 am Reply

      Hey em, I’m in the exact same position as you. My great grandparents were my parents in my eyes and raised me from 4 – I am 22 now. I lost my nan 3 years ago this year, my gramp was all I had left and he was in a care home after falling a few times. I passed away 8.40pm on Friday, it was unexpected, my heart is broken, it hasn’t hit me and I’ve now got to accept that I might not even be able to attend his funeral with this pandemic. He was my life and I’m sure yours was too, they’ll be missed so dearly. Take care x

    • Alex  March 23, 2020 at 8:25 am Reply

      My grandma, who raised me from when i was a baby to when i was 11, passed away on Thursday, 19th of March. I’m almost 20 now, and it’s been 9 years since we moved to another country after my parents’ divorce. I was young when we left, I didn’t really understand that much. My grandmother was my rock, while my parents were abroad working she looked after me and my sister. I would call her every week, and i kept doing that for 9 years. We also visited home a few times, and each time i could see her growing older and older. We last visited her 10 months ago, and we were supposed to go back to Romania for Easter, but because of the pandemic we had to cancel everything. I called her on Sunday and told her to pay attention, she told me she would. She said “Grandmother loves you so much. My last wish is to see you before I die.” I told her not to say such things, we would definitely see each other once the pandemic will be over. She said she couldn’t wait for spring to come, for the flowers to bloom, so the pandemic will go away. We were supposed to call her the next Sunday, but now I won’t ever be able to call her again. We cannot fly over to Romania for her funeral, because we live in another country and all flights are banned. She won’t even have a proper funeral, because of this damned virus.
      What strikes me the most is that she seemed fine, I was never expecting her to die. She was 81, she suffered from asthma and cardiac disease, but for some reason, I thought she was immortal. I miss my grandma so much, I wish we could’ve seen each other one last time.

    • Jaz  April 9, 2020 at 8:56 pm Reply

      We’re in the same situation. My Granny passed about 24 hours ago (my 3rd and last grandparent to pass in 19 months) and because of the pandemic there is a limit of 10 people for funerals. What we plan to do is have a very minimal cremation with close family and then have a proper service, gathering, wake and internment when this pandemic is all over. All my love to you all at this difficult time

  128. Nicole  March 22, 2020 at 8:25 pm Reply

    My grandma died when I was 14. I’ll be 34 in a few months. I found this site while trying to ask google the right questions about the potential long term effects of holding that grief in for so long, and what the best ways to start piecing myself back together would be. I’ve only just discovered today that her death and my mother not realizing how affected I was by her death likely caused the severe depression that I’ve been suffering to set in—ultimately assisting me in nearly flunking out of high school…and being basically the poster child for failure and self loathing ever since…I had previously been a straight A student…I honestly had no one I could talk to about my grandma’s death because my mom and I weren’t close at the time…anyway, I read some of the more recent posts. I am so sorry for your losses. All of you go right ahead and you cry until every drop is gone. It’s ok, I’m crying with you, you’re not alone. My heart breaks for every single one of you. I wish that you all had more time with your grandparents. You all deserve more time with them. Please take care yourselves. There is no shame in seeing a therapist. Even if you consider yourself to be a really together person, you honestly probably need a hug more than the people that consider themselves to be less together, and that’s ok. Take care of you.

  129. Rosalie  March 27, 2020 at 6:23 pm Reply

    My great grandfather died when I was 4 or 5 in 2014. I never really knew him because he lived such a far distance away. Then tonight, probably about half an hour ago, I had a dream about him. About the past we had together. It was his 90th birthday today. I usually have dreams about the future ( I know that sounds weird but it’s true) but somehow it was about my past. He was so loving and enthusiastic. For the past year I’ve been thinking about him and what he was like before I was born. Which cane to me about 4 months ago when my school year was learning about WW2. I came across about a hundred letters from my great great grandfather who had fought in WW2 and died from a bomb. I found pictures of my Opa. (That is German for grandfather) he looked very smart. And at the time I knew him, he was funny. I thought of him looking down at me to see my school work and my stories. My singing, everything. Once I had thought of that, I calmed down, but it’s never forever. I was quite close to him. I still miss him. But I hope he will be looking down at me more proud than he would’ve ever been in his 90 years, alive and death years. If you have any replies feel free to say something I’m open to anything. If they are personal, I will just say sorry I can’t answer that.

  130. Christie  March 30, 2020 at 5:11 am Reply

    My grandma passed away last year. People kept asking me if we were close before she died, and I’d have to say no, we exchanged messages a few times a year. She’d send me a fbook message or send a card, I never knew what to say when I spoke to her because I was estranged from a lot of my family, but she meant the whole world to me. I loved her sooo muuch. The day after I found out about her death, the whole world seemed like a shittier place. I have no idea how else to describe it. My cousins and Uncles are all fine, they gave some condolences, but they knew it was coming for a long time. I think I’m the only one it hit this hard, and I’m almost ashamed and embarrassed because I’m 28 and didn’t talk to her much. I really really loved my grandma. She sent me cards for my birthday or Christmas sometimes. Once she sent me a $50 check and I couldn’t cash it. It’s still up on my shelf. I knew she didn’t have the money. I guess that was my way of caring about her. When I held my small inheritance check from her in my hand and knew It’d be the first time I’d cash a check from her, because she was gone, my heart broke.

  131. Yanithza  April 6, 2020 at 12:09 am Reply

    My grandpa passed away a few days ago. I still find it so hard to believe that he’s no longer in this world. I moved to another country at a young age so I never got to see him after that but the connection that I had developed with him my early years of life were lifelong. I loved him like a kid loves his father. When I would talk to him on the phone he would always tell me how he was waiting for the day that we meet again and I always thought that day would come. Guess that’s not how life works. I hold on to the thought that he knew how much we loved him even though we were not with him. His absence in this world lives a hole in my heart that I don’t think will ever be filled again. I never got to say goodbye.

  132. RK  April 9, 2020 at 1:06 am Reply

    My grandma passed away a couple days ago. She was really close to me, she suffered a lot in the hospital for 3 weeks before this. She was unresponsive, not even sure if she understand what we spoke to her.
    It’s been really difficult for me … especially since I’m half the globe away in another country with no one here to speak to, all alone and unable to travel also due to the Coronavirus.
    I am unable to stop crying every time I think of her. I wanna be strong for my family but I can’t stop pouring away every time they call. I am not able understand how to process this grief and what to do. In a way, everyone is relieved for her suffering to come to an end. They say she is in a better and happier place now, I hope so. I loved her a lot and she was very close to me.

    • Claire  April 10, 2020 at 11:06 am Reply

      My grandma past away, I am too very far away and unable to travel cause corona. My heart feels empty. This is horrible

  133. camilla castaneda  April 12, 2020 at 4:02 am Reply

    yesterday night my grandpa passed away. i am so heartbroken because he was here visiting for a few months now and when he left to go back to mexico due the cornavirus he got really sick. he had trouble breathing and had pneumonia. the hospital wouldn’t help him because they were afraid he had the virus and as he was on his way to another hospital he passed away. i am only 15 but i made so many memories with him he was the best grandpa ever and it hurts me that i won’t be able to see him again 😞 it feels like a dream and i don’t want to accept the fact that he’s not here anymore. he was just here with me the other day and now he’s gone. i wish i could say i love you to him one more time i feel empty and all i want to do is go to mexico to comfort my grandma because she’s suffering without him they were together for 65 years and i can’t imagine what it must feel like to lose the love of your life that’s been with you your whole life. my whole family here is sad that we can’t travel to see my family in mexico. i know he’s in a better place now looking over me he’s finally with his mom and dad happy in heaven. i love you papa jose and i’m gonna miss you so much 💔💔

  134. camilla castaneda  April 12, 2020 at 4:06 am Reply

    yesterday night my grandpa passed away. i am so heartbroken because he was here visiting for a few months now and when he left to go back to mexico due the cornavirus he got really sick. he had trouble breathing and had pneumonia. the hospital wouldn’t help him because they were afraid he had the virus and as he was on his way to another hospital he passed away. i am only 15 but i made so many memories with him he was the best grandpa ever and it hurts me that i won’t be able to see him again 😞 it feels like a dream and i don’t want to accept the fact that he’s not here anymore. he was just here with me the other day and now he’s gone. i wish i could say i love you to him one more time i feel empty and all i want to do is go to mexico to comfort my grandma because she’s suffering without him they were together for 65 years and i can’t imagine what it must feel like to lose the love of your life that’s been with you your whole life. my whole family here is sad that we can’t travel to see my family in mexico. i know he’s in a better place now looking over me he’s finally with his mom and dad happy in heaven. i love you papa jose and i’m gonna miss you so much 💔💔 i will miss the times you walked me to the bus stop when i was little, i will miss how much you loved coffee, i will miss all those times when you would need my help to help you fix your phone or the tv, i will miss all the advice you gave me and all the stories you told me about your time in the ranch. i just wish you were here with me right now 😞

  135. Erick Alisangco  April 13, 2020 at 11:19 am Reply

    My Grandpa passed away on July 2012 while my Grandma passed away on October 2018. I was really close to them cause I my brother and I grew up with them. My Grandpa is the one picking me up in my school when I was in nursery up until in elementary. My Grandma is the one preparing my food for the school and my lunch when I was already working. They really spoiled me but they taught me that no material things can make you happy in this world. They are my number one silent supporters, my counselors. Til now I always cry especially when remembering my Grandpa. They both passed away in out house and witnessed how they peacefully passed away. I miss my Grandpa and Grandma so much. I wish they are still alive now for them to see how far I’ve become and to hear the words “We are proud of you.”

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