Grief is Love

What is grief in relation to love? Quite often I think they’re the same thing.

When people think of love they often think of hearts, romance, and warm-fuzzies, but love is far more complicated.
PicMonkey CollageLove is positive and amazing, yes, but it can also cause the worst kind of pain.

Perhaps the most painful kind of love is called grief, which happens when the object of a person’s love is taken away with no hope for return.

Grief is love.

Grief is love and the confusion caused by not knowing how to love someone who is gone. Grief is love’s frustration, bitterness, anger, and resentment at death’s destruction. Grief is love realizing, if it wants to thrive, it has to be creative and find new ways to connect and be fulfilled. Grief is love’s unwillingness to give up.  It’s stretching bonds and redefining limits in order to create a space where you can love someone in their eternal absence.

PicMonkey Collage1Grief is love.

I know you may not believe me, because right now grief seems like a nightmare. I’ll admit that some days I don’t believe myself, but then one of our readers says something tender or shares a loving memory or does something supportive for a fellow reader and I’m reminded that underneath it all, grief is love.

Some of you reading this may be feeling alienated, isolated, sad, and alone.  We want to remind you, though, that underneath the stress, frustration, anger, disappointment, despair, guilt, loneliness, and sorrow, quite often there is love.  It may take you a little while to find it, but it’s there. Grief is loveSubscribe to receive posts straight to your email inbox.

April 12, 2017

12 responses on "Grief is Love"

  1. I agree, grief is parallel to love. That is why, at all the funerals at which I officiate, family and friends stand up and relate stories and lessons and teachings from the loved one. Some even all it a celebration of life, not a funeral.
    My only problem (and I am a grief expert, authored 3 books, D.Min. in counseling, host a weekly radio show), is that our society doesn’t know how to “lay them gently down.” In its essence, we don’t let them die, and we aren’t capable of understanding how to move from loss to healing. No one ever taught us, and society only teaches us how to acquire things and people, but not how to let them go. So we do the best we can with mourning and therapy and all the rest, but mostly we keep them right there on our shoulders. So they didn’t really yet die.
    Please don’t misunderstand, but our job is to to truly let them die (not forget them, God forbid), to complete our relationship with them, and then to move on.
    We didn’t die (yet), and we need to celebrate that, even in the face of loss.

  2. I am grateful for family

  3. Where do we do this?

    • Profile photo of Eleanor Haley

      Hey Monique, we’ve been doing the gratitude challenge on our Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram pages which we’ve linked to at the bottom of the post. Although this is also a helpful coping skill that anyone can do on their own and in their own time.

  4. Beautiful piece. Thank you! I’m trying to “Share” it on my FB page, as I know it will resonate with people, but when I tried – this is the error message shown: App Not Setup: This app is still in development mode, and you don’t have access to it. Switch to a registered test user or ask an app admin for permissions. ???

  5. I am grateful my parents took me into their home after I lost my son to a drug overdose
    I’ve been negative and complaining towards them without considering what they’ve given me
    Gratitude can be life changing

  6. I am grateful for my father that shows me love and kindness.

  7. I am grateful got my Dad and younger brother…

  8. Powerful. Often-times we are made to feel that our sorrow/grief at the loss of someone indicates a guilt about what we did NOT do , while the person was alive. This is a creative and healthful look at the other side of the issue ….THANKS !!!!

  9. Beautiful writing; thank you. I will accept this challenge as I have been feeling myself being pulled down by the weight of grief.

  10. I am grateful for that article and your description of grief as love.

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