A Wedding Guide for Grievers: tips for remembering and coping

With save the dates covering my fridge it is becoming hard to deny that wedding season is upon us.  Though most people who think about weddings probably don’t jump right to thinking about grief, most people who think about weddings probably don’t write a grief blog.  Lucky for you, around here just about anything makes us think about grief.

After a loss, no matter how many years have passed, significant life events are reminders that the person we have lost is not there with us.  For our wedding we may have always imagined that our mom would be there for wedding dress shopping, that our best friend would be our best man, or that our dad would walk us down the aisle.  When that person isn’t there, there absence is a deep and constant reminder of our pain.  The most joyous of events become bittersweet.

We have written in the past about coping with weddings after a death, but our words of wisdom are scattered all over the blog.  Think of today’s post as one-stop-shopping for your wedding-after-a-death needs.  Click on any of the images below to check out our tips, tricks, and creative ideas for remembering your loved one on your wedding day, and some tools for coping to boot.  Whether you are the one getting married after a death or supporting someone who is, we hope some of our ideas will help.

Wedding Dress Shopping Without Mom
wedding dress shopping without mom

Your Wedding After a Death: Remembering Loved Ones at Your Ceremony.
Your Wedding Day After a Loss
Your Wedding After a Death: Remembering Loved Ones at Your Reception.
wedding after a death reception
What should I give as a wedding gift to someone who lost a parent?
wedding gift lost a parentWedding Journal Activity for GrieversYour wedding after a death journal

  The First Family Wedding After a Death
wedding after a death first family

Have some great ideas for remembering loved ones at a wedding or coping with grief during wedding season? Leave a comment to let us know!  

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March 2, 2018

11 responses on "A Wedding Guide for Grievers: tips for remembering and coping"

  1. The hardest thing I had to do was be at my daughters wedding while my beautiful wife was recovering from surgery for lung cancer that had spread to her brain.
    We got that shocking diagnosis 2 days before the wedding after we drove downstate NY from Buffalo. It was just in October 2017 we had our first daughters wedding in Buffalo and we were so excited and proud of #2 so soon after!
    My wife obviously could not make it and I had to “power on and through” while knowing she was recovering but also knowing her terminal cancer gave her 2 months to live at best!
    I spent my daughters wedding in a complete daze and fog thinking of all going on and to go on-everything but the wedding itself. I smiled and I gave a few laughs and tears but I was dead man walking.
    To not have my wife with me -my 38 year soulmate life reason for living- we had just retired!
    To have gone through with the wedding broke my heart but I had a daughter to at least put a “show” on for her. I did my best and it would make me happy if just one day I could hear “Dad that night you were my hero” because God knows what I was going through but tried my best to stand tall and proud for her and for my poor wife.
    I always tell people my wife passed on August 9 2018 but I had passed June 7th when we received the shocking diagnosis on a routine Dr. visit turned very wrong.
    Its quite the shortened story here but there is my wedding / grief contribution.

  2. I am photographing a wedding on Saturday of a beautiful young lady I have watched growing up.
    I knew her father well. He was killed tragically in a car accident today, 2 days before the wedding.
    I am devastated for her loss. They were very close. I too very emotional and it is going to be tough capture the day sensitively.

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  6. Unique topic you have chosen and expertly accumulate the information. I love the way you represent the information. My daughter’s wedding was 2 months after my husband, her dad passed away. She asked me if she could have his wedding ring worked into her bouquet, just for the ceremony. She also walked in with her groom. They decided if they were “going into this thing together, then that’s what they were going to do!” It was perfect.

  7. One thing I loved about my sister in law’s wedding was the sweetheart table. She and her new usband sat at a little table by themselves. On the table were photographs, framed beautifully , of my son who died, the bride’s father and the groom’s father, also departed. This made me feel so co forged that my son Jacob was art of their day,

  8. Wonderful tips, and well worth sharing, Litsa. Thank you! I’ve added this page to my “Tools for Healing” Pinterest board.
    I will watch for your tips on coping with funerals, too, as Bob suggested. Meanwhile, your readers may find this post helpful: Facing Another Funeral Without ‘Falling Apart,’ here: http://j.mp/1dGACE3 ?

  9. Ahh, great suggestion for a post – I think most people can relate! We will definitely put that on the upcoming post schedule. Stay tuned . . .

  10. Great that you have gathered these tips together.

    Now how ’bout a post about how to cope with a funeral. Every time I go to a funeral I feel guilty because I feel like I’m really grieving for my loved ones rather than the one whose funeral I’m attending.

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