Spend a Day Like Your Loved One on Their Deathiversary

Holidays and Special Days / Holidays and Special Days : Eleanor Haley



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The anniversary of my mother's death, or her "deathiversary", is closing in on me. I usually count on the foliage and cool fresh air to tip me off, but the beginning of Fall was so unseasonably warm this year, I hardly noticed.

These last few days, though, they've played their part well, bringing a dark, wet, coldness that is unmistakenly autumn. For me, they also bring pangs of grief as I'm transported back in time to October 2006 - the season in which my mother died, and when I learned what it is to grieve.

So much has happened these last 13 years, and yet, some days, it feels like my mother died just yesterday. I still miss her and the way life felt before she died; when living without her was merely a scenario I shuddered to consider.

It was hard to believe then that life could go on without her. She was the sun, and my siblings and I were planets in her orbit. Without her, we had no idea how to continue existing.

But somehow we did.

As her sun faded and became a star, we found comfort knowing that even though she was more distant than we'd ever like, she would always be present in the night sky. And bit by bit, we moved forward, we realigned, and we learned to love her despite her physical absence.

I've been through my mother's deathiversary quite a few times now, and each year I've felt compelled to honor her memory differently. Maybe this is a reflection of where I am in life, or perhaps because my relationship with her memory changes as I grow older.

To be honest, this year I thought I'd probably just coast through October. I have a new baby at home, which makes me feel connected to my mother with every snuggle and lullaby-song. But then my sister mentioned the fall weather was making her sad, and I started thinking - if I were going to recognize her deathiversary, what would I do?

I started with the obvious by asking myself, what would I do if I spent the day doing things that made me feel close to mom? Things she liked to do, things that were unique to her, things I remember about her - the big stuff and the smaller stuff. I started a mental list:

"Play the piano...watch old movies on TCM...go to Wegmans...fold laundry on the living room floor...take my kids to the mall for an Orange Julius."

I wondered if my siblings would have the same thoughts or if they would spend their hypothetical day doing different things, so I messaged them and asked. The conversation started out with some of the things I had already thought of, but then we got more and more specific as we went on...

"Pick kids up the kids just late enough that they end up having to wait with a teacher or coach... 
Get mad at my brother for interrupting the end of a movie...
Ask someone to start a Word document and then call them back to save the document when finished...
Get sucked into a good book...
Do a child's homework for them...
Fall asleep with one of the kids at night...
Show a child, any child, unconditional patience and care...

Remembering the little quirks and qualities that we loved about her gave me so much joy. By the end of the conversation, I was laughing through tears. We won't actually do all these things - maybe one or two - or maybe even none - but it was so comforting just to think about.

I was reminded that this is how we went on living after my mother died - we wove her memory in the fabric of our every day lives. We remember the little things that made her who she was and we repeat the things that help make us the people we are today.

I'm sharing this with you because I was thinking how nice it would be to learn what other people would do if they spent a day like their loved one - doing the things they loved, getting annoyed by the things they loathed, embracing their eccentricities, etc. You don’t have to actually do any of it – just imagine it – and don’t stop until you’ve remembered at least one thing that makes you smile.

Share your hypothetical day in the comments below

We invite you to share your experiences, questions, and resource suggestions with the WYG community in the discussion section below.

We invite you to share your experiences, questions, and resource suggestions with the WYG community in the discussion section below.

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42 Comments on "Spend a Day Like Your Loved One on Their Deathiversary"

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  1. Melanie  October 20, 2022 at 11:54 am Reply

    I’ve lamented over my mom’s birthday every year since she passed. But this year, instead of going to visit her grave & lamenting over her demise, I’ve decided to spend the day with her- doing all the quirky things she loved to do. And for the first time since she’s passed, I’m excited for her birthday to come. I’m excited to spend the day doing things she loved to do. She may not be present physically, but she has always been & will always be in my heart. Her birthday should always be a celebration! Love you mom!

  2. Margaret Avila  October 1, 2021 at 11:49 pm Reply

    It really does matter so much to share,BUT IT’S SO FREAKING HARD!!!

  3. Sharon  September 25, 2021 at 7:57 am Reply

    Thank you so much for this. My mom died 31 years ago, which is so hard to believe. To honor her and feel close to her I will bring a sense of fun to my day. A Ferris wheel is in town. Instead of a day of errands and chores, I will chose fun! I will also pull out the large yellow bowl like hers and make her famous cranberry bread. She remains such a presence in my life and I will miss her always.

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  4. Carol Seay  September 24, 2021 at 10:37 pm Reply

    When my husband died at midday on Christmas Day of 2007, it didn’t occur to me at first that it would be a difficult day from then on. It wasn’t until people said “Oh how sad! How awful! Christmas will always be terrible for you.” In fact it is the opposite. Phil had loved Christmas particularly for the music. His CDs of ‘the crooners’ singing Carols and Christmas songs were almost worn out from his playing of them, and his singing along to them in his silken voice was a joy for everyone around us. So now, and through all these years, I play Bing Crosby, Dean Martin and many others, and Phil is back in the room with me. So what seemed like a tragedy, a deathiversary happening on a day supposed to be about joy and love…is just that. The tears flow of course, but the music carries me to Phil’s side, in my heart. He is gone, and I miss him, but I still enjoy Christmas.

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  5. Angela  September 24, 2021 at 8:42 pm Reply

    On one of the anniversaries of my mom’s death, my sisters and I got together. We went to a grocery store and each bought flowers of our choice and then went to the grave and placed some of the flowers there. Lots of snow on the ground that February so one sister made her way with the flowers without boots! We then ate at a restaurant together.

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  6. Kuji Smith  September 24, 2021 at 7:15 pm Reply

    My son passed in October 2006, at the age of 26yo. He loved animals, especially the three cats we had. Oh and did they love him! On his Deathiversary I donate to charity in his memory. Most often these donations are to the local Humane Society. He would have loved that. I also drive to the multiple apartments he once lived in, away at college and in his hometown. I spend a short time outside each one recalling the joy and fun he had at every location. I speak out loud to him everyday, but these “conversations” on the Deathiversary are particularly important and meaningful. It has been nearly 15 years since he died. It feels very recently however. The love and yearning for him will never diminish. I believe missing him everyday will not lessen either. He was a wonderful young man. Perfect in every way, especially to his Mom.

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  7. Jodi  September 24, 2021 at 6:28 pm Reply

    The first anniversary of my parents deaths are coming in Oct. My dad being Oct 1 and mom Oct 30 both in 2020. As well I have had 16 people around me die in the last year and half, 13 of which were family the other 3 friends. I am a Psychic Medium, and have been doing readings for over 20 years; but nothing could have prepared me for this kind of loss. I have spent the last few months trying to figure out how to help others with grief besides readings. I think I need to write a book. Thank you for your emails and this site.

    1
  8. Charlotte Seehafer  September 24, 2021 at 2:21 pm Reply

    My son has been gone for three years now. He was 28 years old. The one thing I would do is watch the old school Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoons and movies. They were always his favorite, even as an adult. I think this would be a nice way to spend time with him.

    1
  9. Tammy Joy Rider  September 24, 2021 at 1:35 pm Reply

    Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday, the third one we’ve spent without her now. But we will continue to celebrate it just the way we did as when she was with us: at the Minnesota Twins game.

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  10. Nancy EL  September 24, 2021 at 11:59 am Reply

    I say this with so much love, if I did something my boyfriend loved, I would actually would have to sit home, watch football or hockey or any sports, really, drink Dr. Pepper and eat junk food and smoke weed. That made me smile when I thought about it. What I am actually doing is taking my crazy dog to the beach where my boyfriend and I had one of our first dates, it lasted about 12 hours and was someplace I always feel close to him (even though he didn’t love the beach). I am at the point where I can smile even as I miss him, but some days are harder than others.

  11. Shey  September 24, 2021 at 11:19 am Reply

    My husband death anniversary hasn’t came up yet . But it’s been 6mos since he departed from this earth . 3/6/2021 my world turned black and I often find myself going to his grave to switch out his flowers when I can. It’s still surreal that he has been gone away from me . I’m doing the best out here raising my daughter and stepson. I’m glad justice was served on my birthday 9/19/21 for his death . I love you Eljay

  12. Carmella L Russell  September 24, 2021 at 10:47 am Reply

    I spent the last Mother’s Day (2013) with my husband doing things he liked. There’s was no immediate reason to think he would not be he here for 2014 although his health was not 100%. We had BBQ; we got a manicure (he was hesitant even though he loved them on his wheelchair worn hands and I had to remind him it was my day); we played pool and drank a beer (not my fav). It was a glorious day. And when Mother’s Day 2014 came around and David was not physically with me I got to remember a day spend with him doing things he loved. And every Mother’s Day since I remember!

  13. Carl Buonafede  October 9, 2020 at 12:42 pm Reply

    I also do not remember her first anniversary very well. I think I was overwhelmed with the reality that she was gone, even though it is still difficult to completely accept.

    This year I am buying a catered lunch for the entire oncology department that cared for her the last year of her life, with an appropriate thank you card.

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  14. bradleyburden53@gmail.com  October 8, 2020 at 1:47 am Reply

    i felt guilty the first year i missed my deceased wifes deathiversary, when i told my friend, he said “She wants you to know shes ok, and you’re still alive, so go live now.” only time makes this easier to live with, grieve as long as its part of the healing process, but dont hurt for the dead so long your life suffers for it. just my advice.

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  15. Vicki Size  February 2, 2020 at 9:09 am Reply

    Thanks for writing this. My son’s first deathiversary is coming up at the end of February. I’ve been struggling all through January, thinking about the coming days and weeks, leading do my son’s untimely death. It is often that I think about these saddest moments of my existence but this article took me briefly, to a time when life was good. Somehow, remembering a combination of his daily life events made it feel like he is still here, if only for a day. And, you are right. Its not necessary to actually do his activities because picturing him doing all his things is enough.
    Thank you. So very much.

    1
  16. Alicia Zee  December 9, 2019 at 3:33 am Reply

    My mom passed on 115 days ago. The emptiness is quite nearly unbearable.

    I wrote this last mother’s day.
    *******************************************
    As this is quite likely the last precious Mother’s Day I’ll have with my sweet mom, here are just a few of the things I love and will miss most about her when she’s not here;

    Her deep, yet soft voice.

    Listening to her tell stories.

    Cooking together.

    Her homemade granola.

    Her homemade beans.

    How fun she was to go on road trips with.

    Her ‘cavernícola’ feet.

    Our uncontrollable fits of giggles together.

    Being able to call her up with questions, like: ‘Who was the guy who slept on our balcony for a few months when I was seven?’; ‘Why was only the upstairs portion of our house on Florida St. ever furnished?’; ‘Whatever happened to our cat, ‘Peaches’?’ ‘Was it for my 15th or 16th birthday, that you got us tickets to see Neil Young?’

    Sitting in front of a campfire with her ~ after finally getting her to camp out on the beach with me.

    Surprising her at sunrise with hot coffee and pastries ~ after finally getting her to camp out on the beach with me.

    How she would also totally surprise me every now-and-then. Ie.: that NYE when at 70, she asked if I wanted to try some coca leaves that someone had given her. We did. It was great.

    The back-and-forth comments and jokes within our ‘Word With Friends’ games (of which we had 2-3 going at all times).

    The hilariously rowdy character she would adopt when playing poker.

    Picking up two cold beers and a bag of chips from ‘Mini-Super El Sacrificio’ and quietly enjoying them and the long drive home along the back road, after shopping in town.

    The secure, but light touch when she puts her arm around me and the cool, almost paper-like feel of her hands.

    How bright and young her eyes have always looked, regardless of her age.

    Her hair in the sunlight.

    Telling her that I love her and hearing her tell me she loves me too.

    *******************************************

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  17. Ronit  December 7, 2019 at 10:19 am Reply

    My mother passed unexpectedly on September 23, 2019. Her presence in my families life was enormous. The pain and emptiness in my heart is so incredibly huge.
    I miss so much hearing the sound of her voice, her genuinely loving hugs, her smell, I miss so much seeing her car in front of my house, I miss seeing her sitting at my kitchen table with a cup of coffee, her laundry in my washing machine, her love for my son, for my dog, I miss her being my last phone call before I go to sleep and the calls throughout the day of how our day is going. I miss the joy she would have from hearing good things that happens to us and I miss her advice when I’m not sure what to do. I can’t understanding how I haven’t seen her in over 10 weeks. How final death is, there’s no going back, this is the new reality. I cry every single day and my son asked me if this is what our life is going to be like now…….I suppose it will be for a while and eventually some of the tears will become smiles remembering that I am fortunate to have been able to have experienced having an incredibly loving, supportive presence in my life for 52 years?

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    • Beth  September 24, 2021 at 9:52 am Reply

      This hit hard today as I am feeling scared. October the 19th will be 1 year since my mom passed suddenly. I have mourned deeper than I ever thought possible, and at the 11 month mark I didn’t even want to get out of bed, but thankfully it was Sunday and I had to make the coffee at church. My mom always had coffee on for anyone that came to her house,so since her passing I took on this ministry at my church.

      I talked to my mom multiple times a day and she was my biggest support for all things. I try to avoid the unexpected grief (which we know is not possible) by planning the hard days in advance. The day my mom had her stroke I had left her house after coffee, for my 6 hour drive home and she called me to say “I love you and I miss you already.” Two hours later when I called her she and my sister were headed to the casino when my sister screamed into the phone. My mom was gone in 11 hours and it broke my heart.

      So, what are my plans? My sister and I are going to go to the casino (even though I don’t love to) as mom loved those trips! I also realized yesterday, as I made an appointment for my finger prints, that I will be getting my LPC in October! She told me many times that she hoped to live to see this day and though she didn’t I have still pushed on to this goal with her love and constant reminders that she believed in me.

      Please pray for me during this next month as I know I can’t prepare for the waves alone.

  18. Nicole  December 5, 2019 at 12:28 am Reply

    I’m still trying to figure out what to do for this. My dad and I will reminisce about many of the good times and fun times we had with mom.
    My mom passed away suddenly in December 2016 from a massive heart attack. She was not just my mom, but my best friend in the whole world. I think of her every day, my dad and I miss her terribly. She had such a presence, such a good heart and was a very special person with many special gifts and talents.

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  19. James Carbajal  December 1, 2019 at 6:39 pm Reply

    My Beautiful and giving wife and friend, Nancy passed away last Dec 3rd 2018, right after Thanksgiving and before Christmas, as these holidays hold no bearing to me any longer, I understand that as humans, we are here for a short time and then we leave, it is the nature of things, however I believe that the end of human existence is only one part of the journey that we are all on, and that maybe physically I am unable to see her, I can still hear her calling my name, JIm-Jim-Jim LOL, I love her more then anything on this planet and beyond, more then my own existence, therefore I have made a conscious decision to stay married to My Lovely Bride, as nothing has changed, only the physicality is different, I will be with her one day, I know that! I can hardly wait, but until then we will remain a married couple, and we will live on here and there, wherever it may be? for all Eternity!!!!!I Love You Mrs Nancy Lee Weiss Carbajal. P.S This will be the one year of her leaving on her continuous Journey through this thing we call life, I will be lighting the Yahrzeit Candle at sundown in her Honor, and allow the candle to burn for 24 hrs, and will Sabbath accordingly of no meat or wine to celebrate acts of Joy!!

    1
    • Richard Burkett  September 25, 2021 at 11:46 am Reply

      Jim,
      I love your beautiful and moving tribute to your wife. I lost my soulmate, Joyce, to whom I was married for 57 years on Oct.28, 2020.
      I too, choose to remain married and love her more each passing day. She was my rudder, compass and anchor. I am trying to honor her by emulating her endearing qualities of kindness, compassion and unselfishness. She was the most generous person I have ever known and the world’s most wonderful mom and “Mema.” I share your conviction that this is but an ephemeral step on the path to eternity. I know there is more beyond because sweetheart, I am only now becoming fit to live with. You are my world and will be so forever.

  20. Gwen  November 24, 2019 at 8:16 pm Reply

    My father just died October 15th. Yesterday 11/23 would have been his 83rd birthday. We celebrated for him ate and drank . I don’t how we will make it through a year honestly

    1
  21. Vicki  November 22, 2019 at 11:53 am Reply

    On his “deathiversary,” we go to a national Reading of the Names that takes 3 and a half hours to get through from A to Z because they read out all the names of confirmed deaths. There are names on the list of the missing, still, that haven’t been confirmed and those aren’t read aloud. They’re written online tho, which I guess makes it unofficial but still recognizes the person as “last known to be in that area?”
    It’s upsetting to me. Lots of things to do with how he died were so unforeseen I’ve had almost no success at all “dealing ” with the fallout. WE still haven’t even had the trial, no thanks to the attorneys, who have been playing games with it for almost two decades on account of nobody seems to be able to handle that it’s a capital murder trial and don’t appear to want it to be a capital murder trial.
    They’re accused of helping murder 2,977 people. I don’t see what else it could possibly be if not a capital murder trial.

  22. Shanon  November 17, 2019 at 5:15 pm Reply

    I love this question. My mom died 4 1/2 months ago. She lived a long and full life but her death was sudden and unexpected. I still can’t accept that she’s not with us. She was the center of every gathering, loved to entertain, to cook, to set the most beautiful table ever. I ironed my table clothes in honor of her at our last holiday gathering. She would have loved to see those crisp corners. On the first anniversary of her death my family will gather in the Poconos, where she had a second home for many years, and spread her ashes near one of her favorite spots. We will cook big meals, plan one as we’re finishing one, ask people every half hour or so if they’re hungry, put on old movies and build a fire. And remember the many years we gathered in her homes to be nurtured by her.

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    • Sandy  November 21, 2019 at 12:39 pm Reply

      Hi, Shanon. My mom passed suddenly and unexpectedly as well, 2 1/2 mths ago. I feel your pain. ❤

  23. Barbara Hitman  November 10, 2019 at 9:34 am Reply

    After my Mom died, I realized that using the phrase, sorry for your loss was wrong. Now, I will say, remember the person who left us is Free of Pain and suffering no matter the age of the one who left us. First time I did this, it was to a son/grown. Me: Your Mom was a wonderful person to have met. The son smiled. Try to be creative and if you did know the person, say something more positive. Sure, I miss my Mom however I know she would not want me to be depressed and sad. Holidays are rough when your old and have no one left however carry on and find someone who would enjoy your company.

  24. Bobbie Hamfeldt  November 2, 2019 at 1:25 am Reply

    I lost my son and only child 9 1/2 years ago.
    May is the most challenging month for me because the last time I saw him was on Mother’s Day and a week later he was killed in an accident. I’ve struggled with different ways to spend the anniversary of his death but have finally settled on a way that feels right to me. My son was a tremendously loving and generous person and always enjoyed the concept of “paying it forward “. So I decided the best way to honor him would be to continue on with his giving spirit. I try to practice this daily but particularly on his death anniversary. The last several years on this awful day, I have purchased about a hundred bunches of sunflowers. I take them to a very poor neighborhood in my city and anonymously lay a bouquet on each doorstep. Or, if people are walking on the street, I just hand them a bouquet of sunflowers, and am met with a huge smile of thanks. People sometimes come out of their houses to tell me that I’ve made their day. I always have a silent conversation with my son and I just feel like he’s smiling down on me. It helps me get through a very challenging day plus it brightens the day for people who often don’t have much to smile about. My hope is that the good deeds are just passed on in one way or another. That’s what my boy would like. ?

    2
    • Linda Adams  December 5, 2019 at 6:23 pm Reply

      That is a truly beautiful way to honor him!

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  25. calvin grubbs  October 30, 2019 at 10:10 pm Reply

    I avoid making a fuss on painful anniversaries, why keep bringing up that pain every year because the calendar tells us to. I think about my parents everyday but refuse to get taken down on those sad days, it’s a fools errand. My parents lived full and long lives, every human dies and I knew their time would come, it did and I refuse to get taken down based on the dates.

    • Chris  December 1, 2019 at 6:13 pm Reply

      It sounds like you have found a way. The first anniversary was tough for me, and I spent it pretty somberly with friends at their cottage in Michigan. I called the people who had been right by us each step of the way. We cried together, each of us missing him acutely on that first anniversary.

      I just passed the third anniversary of my darling boyfriend’s passing. I don’t do anything special now. I think of him everyday, now with the sweetness that I couldn’t imagine three years ago.

      Thanks for sharing. I know that it is helpful to those who relate to the anniversaries in a similar way that you do.

      1
  26. Julie Christopherson  October 21, 2019 at 1:48 pm Reply

    Before my son Austin died, he told me, “Mom, after I die, I want you to not be sad on that day. That will be my second birthday. First, I was born here, and now when I die, I’ll be born there, back in Heaven. So, don’t be sad, have my second birthday, and be happy that I will be out of pain.” How can you argue with that? So, every year, we celebrate Austin’s “special days,” and we do things that an innocent, sheltered, sickly, overprotected, 14-year-old boy did things. And we have a blast. Three hundred sixty-three other days of the year, my heart is broken, and I miss my baby. But, I would never want him back, he is not in pain. I can handle this.

  27. Curt  October 21, 2019 at 1:38 pm Reply

    Not only on the anniversary, I have memorial donuts, memorial awkward quiet times and even memorial bacon on occasion. I draw the line well before memorial Vicodin though.

  28. Shells  October 20, 2019 at 11:01 am Reply

    It’s two years since my brother died on my birthday. I am learning to share the day. I light a candle and say a prayer for him, spend time in nature which he loved, make a donation and also do something joyous to celebrate my birthday. He would have wanted it that way. I miss him terribly. This year was not as devastating as the first death anniversary. But the feelings are still intense and begin weeks before the death date and linger for awhile after. Isn’t this all part of the process of seemingly endless adjustment to the new normal of permanent loss?

  29. Alicia Love  October 19, 2019 at 9:44 am Reply

    In October I have the unenviable opportunity to remember the deathiversaries of both my mom and my dad, one week apart. Before their deaths, October was my favorite month. Now it’s been marked by remembering their deaths. I instinctively gravitate to things that remind me of them. This year, on my mom’s going home anniversary, I spent it in a school, with kids. She always enjoyed being with children, more so than adults. Then a week later, I remembered my dad’s homegoing by going to the State Fair of Texas to remember his never ending search for fun. You name it, he was there, carnivals, fairs, zoo, circuses, he took us all the all of them. I miss them both terribly, but I honor them better than sharing their love with those they loved the most, in the ways they loved the most.

  30. Avril Logan  October 19, 2019 at 9:30 am Reply

    It has been five years since my Mom went home to be with the Lord. I miss her very much but I have awesome memories of me and her together. I have 6 sisters and 3 brothers 9 in all. One of the things that always make me smile is going by her house after I get off from work to watch Perry Mason and here her tell me stories about the family. I would laugh and fall asleep some time. On another occasion, I had come down with a bad cold and I went to stay with her for a whole week and she cooked every day for me and we watch old tv shows. Smiling and remembering great times with her. A year before she died 4 of the siblings went to her house early to celebrate thanksgiving with her and it was so much fun. Thank you so much for asking what would you do on a love one death anniversary? Great question that posture one to remember great things about your loved one.
    Blessings

    1
  31. Susan Deakin  October 19, 2019 at 5:15 am Reply

    It’s been exactly three months since my Mom passed, and I’m still in disbelief. The trail of memories are endless, especially at night in bed thinking of her love of clothes, the little scarves she tied around her neck, playing the piano, sending me emails each day, cooking in the kitchen saying she was another Julia Child, etc.

    I miss the sound of her voice, the wisdom of her advice, and the joy she gave to others. I simply miss her, that’s all.

  32. Rachel Fox  October 18, 2019 at 7:57 pm Reply

    My mom and dad’s birthdays are three days apart. The year she died, we flew to Florida (my dad’s homestate) to run away from home but also to spend the whole day on the beach, mom’s (and my) favorite place. My dad’s birthday went okay, he got to see several of my cousins whom he had not seen in a long time. Then mom’s birthday came …. it poured until late afternoon. (We plan, God laughs). We did get to the beach for sunset, but waiting for that rain to stop made for a really, really long day.

  33. Susan Moustaki  October 18, 2019 at 5:46 pm Reply

    I got this story this morning and it is the one year anniversary of my husband of 51 years passing. I watched videos and photos of my husband this morning thinking about better times and than spent the day shopping and getting ready for a ‘remembrance ‘ evening with my friends and family tomorrow evening. We are going to say a poem and a prayer and each one toss a white rose into our marina, I live in Florida. I am making some of his favorite foods and desserts.
    Today however my one daughter decided that we should have a little laughter in our lives this evening and booked tickets to see a comedian.

  34. Peggy  October 18, 2019 at 3:15 pm Reply

    Sometimes hard to believe that this December will mark eight years since my mother died.
    It’s funny, the first image of what to do on her Deathiversary would be to go to the beach, sit in a comfortable chair looking out the window at the view, knit and drink coffee (later switching to a gin and tonic). It’s a solo weeklong retreat she would annually take by herself – which raised the eyebrows of her co-workers, who found it hard to understand why she would want to go by herself, without her husband.

  35. Tammy J. Rider  October 18, 2019 at 2:26 pm Reply

    It will be one year on November 14th since my mom, my best friend, died unexpectedly. But on her birthday this year I invited friends through Facebook to remember her in a similar way: by telling someone a favorite joke, rocking or smiling at a baby, singing a song. These are all things that I have incorporated into my life intentionally this year, and they have helped me to feel connected to the amazing person she was.

  36. Camille  October 18, 2019 at 2:08 pm Reply

    Thank you so much for sharing your “Spend a Day Like Your Loved One On Their Deathiversay.” It helps me thinking of my grieving my mother who passed away a little one year ago. I miss her everyday. For me, when I eat a vegetarian meal, love a pet, take a walk, I think of my mother and her same activities. I also plan to grow a red rose vine to honor her. Her red rose vines died with her passing…
    Thank you for your courage and your grace to share your grieving process of your Mother.

  37. Camille  October 18, 2019 at 2:06 pm Reply

    Thank you so much for sharing your “Spend a Day Like Your Loved One On Their Deathiversay.” It helps me thinking of my grieving my mother who passed away a little one year ago. I miss her everyday. For me, when I eat a vegetarian meal, love a pet, take a walk, I think of my mother and her same activities.
    Thank you for your courage and your grace to share your grieving process of your Mother.

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