Friday Favorites: August 30th, 2013

General / General : Eleanor Haley

Hear ye, Hear ye! We have some ch-ch-changes to announce. These changes will only be remarkable to our avid and loyal readers, so you two listen closely.

Over the past few months we’ve adhered to a strict and rigorous posting schedule (I know, we’re hardcore). We’ve been posting original content on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and then on Sundays posting a ‘Weekend Edition’, a collection of the interesting grief related articles, posts, etc we’ve seen from the past week.

Going forward, in an effort to allow us more time to focus on the quality of our posts and so that I can give Charles Osgood my full attention on Sunday mornings, we’ve decided to make a slight change to our posting schedule. Monday and Wednesday we’ll post as usual and then on Friday we will post our ‘Friday Favorites’. The ‘Friday Favorites’ will take the place of our ‘Weekend Edition’. We’re hoping this will also help us to enhance the quality and quantity of the articles we post and will allow us to evolve the feature overall.

As always, if you see something you think should be featured, send it our way. But in the meantime, here we go…

Cyberbullies and Grief:

Sometimes I think the internet is full of great and wonderful things, and then with the flick of a finger I scroll too far and accidentally read a ‘comments’ section. I’ve oft wondered what the worst kind of internet trolling is, and today I found the answer. Apparently there is a new form of cyber-bullying called ‘RIP trolling’ brought to you by civil-minded individuals who wish labyrinth-hoggle-7to expose any and all outpourings of grief they deem ‘saccharine and disingenuous’. Oh thank heavens we finally have a band of vigilantes willing to be totally insensitive animals in the name of revealing insincere condolence messages for what they truly are. YOU CAN ALL SLEEP SOUNDLY TONIGHT!

Sigh…sigh. sigh. sigh. I am so ridiculously sorry if you’ve had the misfortune of dealing with anything like this. You are entitled to all the condolence messages bestowed upon you and I’d venture to say most of them we’re genuine. It is possible distant friends and even strangers feel compassion for your pain because they’re human and do not live under a bridge. (Note: I recognize not everyone living under a bridge is a troll).

Okay anyway, the article actually has some really good advice. Just as many people assign proxies (which basically means putting someone in charge of a task) to help them deal with funeral arrangements, answering the phone, etc, it is probably also good idea to assign a ‘digital proxy’ to help serve as a buffer, filter, shield, what-have-you when it comes to Facebook messages, e-mails, and blog updates. Read the article for a more thorough discussion and 100 rubies to anyone who can name the above pictured troll.

HelloGrief’s Series on Running as a Means of Coping with Grief

(Note: the above link is to their home page which currently links to all the articles in this series)

Although my current relationship with exercise admittedly goes no further than a love of comfortable, stretchy pants; WYG does in fact endorse exercise as a means for good health, good self-care, and warding off the symptoms of depression. More importantly, we fully believe that there is no such thing as the ‘right’ way to cope with grief and there are very few methods that we would universally endorse across the board. Instead, the individual griever must reflect on what feels therapeutic to them and then they need to do-the-heck out of those things.

These are the two main reasons why we love HelloGrief’s series on coping with grief through running. They have highlighted the stories of 4 different individuals who discuss how running has helped them to work through aspects of the grieving process. If you are at all active and open minded about the healing powers of exercise, we recommend you take a look.

Top 5 TED Talks About Death and End-of-Life Planning

I have mixed emotions about this one because Litsa and I kind of have a love/hate relationship with the ‘Good Death’ movement, but it’s food for thought nonetheless. The Steve Jobs video is my favorite, I’m sure you’ve seen it…


Facebook Use Predicts Declines in Subjective Well-Being in Young Adults

So, I feel like saying ‘duh’ but I’m sure that’s my own subjective bias. A bias which led me to erase my personal Facebook profile and relish in the freedom of not having to check in on the lives of people I barely know every time I hit a 70 second threshold for boredom. So, although this study is vague, I feel like for me it makes sense. But I think the take away for all of us is that, even though social media can seem fairly innocuous, at some point we may want to ask ourselves whether it has a positive, negative, or neutral effect on our well being.

This is an especially important question for grievers to ask themselves and the answer will be different for everyone. On the one hand I’ve heard grievers say the messages they received through Facebook after a death we’re helpful and comforting, on the other I have heard people say posts on Facebook can be a difficult reminder of what they are missing (i.e: first birthdays, weddings, graduations) as a result of the death.

Study Contends “Writing down your emotions proves healthy, therapeutic”

“According to research conducted by the American Academy of Pediatrics, writing down your life experiences and emotions can benefit your health remarkably and help you feel better about the life you are currently leading”

I don’t want to say, ‘I told you so’, instead I will direct your towards our posts on ‘Words, Writing, and Journaling’

A Letter from Fred

This one has been making the rounds but it’s just so darn feel-good I couldn’t help myself. This 95 year old gentleman wrote a song after losing his wife of nearly 75 years and then entered it into a songwriter contest. It’s very sweet. You’re welcome.

Okay that’s it…now scram. Wait no I’m only kidding, stay awhile and don’t forget to subscribe to receive posts straight to your e-mail inbox.

Let’s be grief friends.

We post a new article to What’s Your Grief about once a week. Subscribe to stay up to date on all our posts.

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