Four Easy, Last-Minute Ideas For Memorializing Loved Ones This Holiday

Holidays and Special Days / Holidays and Special Days : Litsa Williams



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Between the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and the spontaneous fits of tears sparked by grief triggers everywhere, it can be easy to avoid planning for things like memorializing loved ones. 

We have tons of ideas about planning for the holiday and for creating and adapting traditions. Today we want to give you just a few quick and easy ideas for remembering those no longer with us this holiday. Don't worry, these are all things that can be done on short notice and with minimal planning. 

If you want a more comprehensive list of ideas for memorializing loved ones that involve a bit more planning, you can check out this post. As always, we welcome your additional thoughts in the comments!


Memory Stocking

It can be hard to know what to do with a loved one's stocking after they have died. Do you hang it? Do you not hang it? One option is to hang the stocking to provide a place where people can share thoughts and memories.

The set up is simple - wherever you hang your loved one's stocking, put out some paper and a pen. Invite people to write their favorite holiday memory and place it in the stocking.

Decide as a family how you will share these memories. Will you spend some time after the holiday meal reading them together as a family or suggest that people read them on their own?


Memory Album

Eleanor's family came up with the idea of putting out an album with photos of past holidays with a loved one who has died, with space for people to write their memories and reflections.  This can sit out for people to look at photos, read, and write at their leisure.

This idea offers a lot of flexibility for all different types of grievers.  People may simply look at the photos or take the time to share or they can ignore the album altogether if that makes them more comfortable getting through the day!


Make a Dish They Made or Loved

Whether it was their famous holiday cookies or the green bean casserole that was their favorite part of the holiday meal, food can be a great way to keep memories and connections alive. 

It is important with this one, especially if you are recreating their recipe, to cut yourself some slack.  It may not come out exactly the way theirs did, especially the first time around.  If you're like me, you may plan to make your grandmother's holiday cookies and then totally flake and not do it at all (don't worry, I wrote about that here).

Don't hold back if their favorite food isn't a holiday staple -- if they loved fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, there is no reason that can't become part of your holiday tradition! Read about our grief recipe project here.


Make Grief Memory Ornaments

Making ornaments can seem like a big project, but there are plenty of easy options. If you are feeling like you haven't incorporated your loved one into the holiday but don't want to incorporate something collaborative, a simple photo ornament or photo at/near the holiday table can be a nice way to make your loved one's memory feel more part of the day. 

If you do want to involve others, buying some simple, clear ornaments with strips of paper or paper ribbon and pens can offer a way for people to write thoughts, reflections, or memories.  Leave out the strips of paper/paper ribbon (different colors works well) and pens.  Invite people to write their feelings, memories, words to their loved one, or anything else they choose on the ribbons.  They can then place the ribbons in the ornaments, seal it up, and hang them on a tree or elsewhere in the house.


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17 Comments on "Four Easy, Last-Minute Ideas For Memorializing Loved Ones This Holiday"

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  1. Heathclyff  November 2, 2023 at 1:27 am Reply

    I am not creative as such, but I have bought a few little ornaments that I know my love one would have liked. And on top of the tree I place a pink bird with a golden crown (as this was their favorite ornament) and a photo of our dog who passed away shortly before my partner. Now I feel this is necessary as they were my little family and are no longer in my life. It helps to keep their memory alive and to make me feel a wee closer to my little long lost family. These are becoming my new traditions and without initiating these, I am just so alone.

  2. Jennifer  December 13, 2022 at 12:48 pm Reply

    I lost my very best friend, husband, and love of my life for half my life–all three in the same amazing man–my Raymond, in October 2022. But I know I must find a way to put that aside because he was the WHOLE WORLD to our two daughters as well, ages 21 and 17. I know I should be a model of how to endure this suffering gracefully…and somehow just knowing that tears me into tinier shreds. None of us can breathe or find our center…even the family dog is catatonic. When Ray died it erased the entire meaning out of all of our lives. I still cannot accept it. And I cannot accept that I cannot change the awful permanence of it. He was only 54 and I do not know how we will live without him. The sun doesn’t rise and set in the same way…and my heart knows that it never will again. A huge part of me died with him and I realize this is terrible to admit seeing that I am the mother of his two children, but the part that is left without him does not want to be here anymore.

    I just watched the video you all did on handling grief during the holidays and all I can think is that you all are…so very…okay. You portray an emotional steadiness that I cannot imagine ever possessing again.

    This next May both daughters will graduate from college and high school, respectively, and the only thing we can think about when we consider every future milestone is that he won’t be there and HE SHOULD BE! I could not possibly care less about Christmas or any other social propriety. I get the message from others that this extreme grief is not warranted and that upsets me even more. Losing someone so special makes them even more present and it is positively asphyxiating. We are all barely scraping by because it takes every single thing we have to just try to be functional. There is absolutely no comfort to be found. Thank you for letting me share.

    • Alexia  January 5, 2024 at 6:29 am Reply

      I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. My sister in law is going through the same thing…. Losing her husband (my brother) in horrible farming accident February 8,2023. She’s “functioning”, she’s been pushing herself to get into a different life…. There’s camping,snowmobiling trips that they booked together last year. We talk and continue to stay close….and be supportive for each other, she started a grief counseling group a few months ago, which allows her to be in a space with people who totally understand what she’s going through… don’t get me wrong, i will always be there for her, we’re more like sisters/best friends than sisters in law…. She misses him desperately And she will forever.
      I guess what I’m trying to say, is, take your time transitioning into that “ new life”. Wishing you and your family the best, cry, scream, punch into pillows, etc… Prayers

  3. Kathleen Clopper  December 23, 2019 at 10:59 pm Reply

    Our 2 yr old granddaughter went to bed and never woke up. Perfectly healthy happy little girl ?.
    Each year it gets harder instead of easier. She should be here!! She would be 4 yrs old if she was here. Her brothers, age 8 and 6 now, miss her terribly and our hearts are broken. It is hard to explain to them why she is not here. I don’t even understand it…
    I should be wrapping her gifts with theirs. How do we go on in this miserable grief world?? It totally sucks.

  4. Kelly Brown  December 23, 2017 at 6:26 am Reply

    My husband passed away unexpectedly in Sept this year leaving me with our four children. It’s so hard, our youngest has just had his 3rd birthday so I have to keep the magic alive for them but I don’t want to be part of any of it. It was our anniversary on the 19th Dec and so unfair he was taken at such a young age, we had our whole lives ahead of us and now mine and the kids world has been destroyed. I’m really not looking forward to the anything over the next few weeks ?

  5. Kelly Brown  December 23, 2017 at 6:26 am Reply

    My husband passed away unexpectedly in Sept this year leaving me with our four children. It’s so hard, our youngest has just had his 3rd birthday so I have to keep the magic alive for them but I don’t want to be part of any of it. It was our anniversary on the 19th Dec and so unfair he was taken at such a young age, we had our whole lives ahead of us and now mine and the kids world has been destroyed. I’m really not looking forward to the anything over the next few weeks ?

  6. Anne TRIPETTE  December 23, 2017 at 4:02 am Reply

    My son passed away 6 years ago , he was 19 , he drowned in the mediterranean sea on may the 8th 2011
    the first christmas without him was so hard to deal with , but i found a way to keep him with us , I put a photo of him on the star and placed it on the top of the tree and I do the same every christmas since then.
    and I don’t care what people think of it , it helps me to spend the holiday .
    And I still make his chocolate cake for his birthday on march 14th , with candles and with my other children we go on celebrating it
    it really help us , no matter what other think about it

    3
  7. Anne TRIPETTE  December 23, 2017 at 4:02 am Reply

    My son passed away 6 years ago , he was 19 , he drowned in the mediterranean sea on may the 8th 2011
    the first christmas without him was so hard to deal with , but i found a way to keep him with us , I put a photo of him on the star and placed it on the top of the tree and I do the same every christmas since then.
    and I don’t care what people think of it , it helps me to spend the holiday .
    And I still make his chocolate cake for his birthday on march 14th , with candles and with my other children we go on celebrating it
    it really help us , no matter what other think about it

  8. David Hommel  December 22, 2017 at 6:43 pm Reply

    Grief has crashed our holiday celebrations this year and taken a place at the table. But we will do our best to treat Grief as we do all our guests, because Grief brings fond and happy memories along with the sadness. I am grateful for a little salt from tears to balance the flavor of the season.

  9. David Hommel  December 22, 2017 at 6:43 pm Reply

    Grief has crashed our holiday celebrations this year and taken a place at the table. But we will do our best to treat Grief as we do all our guests, because Grief brings fond and happy memories along with the sadness. I am grateful for a little salt from tears to balance the flavor of the season.

  10. Karen  December 22, 2017 at 12:17 pm Reply

    This will be my 2nd Christmas without my beloved husband, lost him July 2016 – seems more like it was just this past July, the hurt is still present every day. We just missed our 30th wedding anniversary, on Jan 1st, 2017, so the whole holiday season is sad. Didn’t put up any decorations, as I have no children, and the dogs don’t care. Will be going to his sister’s family, who still include me in everything – God bless them. He was the life of the party, the spark that ignited fun, laughs, and family warmth. Just not the same without him, but we are doing the best we can – remembering him with love and laughs, the way he would have wanted. But – my heart is still broken, and I will never be the same person. I am doing the best I can, but going suddenly from a solid happy marriage to unwanted widowhood is the greatest sorrow and challenge of my life, as many many others can testify to.

    1
  11. Karen  December 22, 2017 at 12:17 pm Reply

    This will be my 2nd Christmas without my beloved husband, lost him July 2016 – seems more like it was just this past July, the hurt is still present every day. We just missed our 30th wedding anniversary, on Jan 1st, 2017, so the whole holiday season is sad. Didn’t put up any decorations, as I have no children, and the dogs don’t care. Will be going to his sister’s family, who still include me in everything – God bless them. He was the life of the party, the spark that ignited fun, laughs, and family warmth. Just not the same without him, but we are doing the best we can – remembering him with love and laughs, the way he would have wanted. But – my heart is still broken, and I will never be the same person. I am doing the best I can, but going suddenly from a solid happy marriage to unwanted widowhood is the greatest sorrow and challenge of my life, as many many others can testify to.

    1
  12. Helen Wynn  December 22, 2017 at 1:16 am Reply

    These are great ideas. I wish I could do them. My husband died four years ago, Dec, 20. Our anniversary was Dec. 23. I still cant accept the holidays and think about him. Still too painful. Wonder if I ever will. Thanks again for all your columns.

    1
  13. Helen Wynn  December 22, 2017 at 1:16 am Reply

    These are great ideas. I wish I could do them. My husband died four years ago, Dec, 20. Our anniversary was Dec. 23. I still cant accept the holidays and think about him. Still too painful. Wonder if I ever will. Thanks again for all your columns.

  14. Marcia Dana  December 21, 2017 at 7:26 pm Reply

    In honor of my late husband, Greg, our adult children and I make a donation to an organization that we think Greg would have liked. After 6 years without him, the kids are now emailing me with suggestions and ideas as Christmas approaches. Greg often gave a helping hand those he knew who were struggling. This year we made a donation to a group that helps the homeless through a running club. It’s local, and they give support without giving a handout. I choose to think Greg is smiling.

    1
  15. Marcia Dana  December 21, 2017 at 7:26 pm Reply

    In honor of my late husband, Greg, our adult children and I make a donation to an organization that we think Greg would have liked. After 6 years without him, the kids are now emailing me with suggestions and ideas as Christmas approaches. Greg often gave a helping hand those he knew who were struggling. This year we made a donation to a group that helps the homeless through a running club. It’s local, and they give support without giving a handout. I choose to think Greg is smiling.

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