Grieving Is . . .

Last month, I posted some photos of grief graffiti and street art I’ve come across in my neighborhood over the past few years. I’ve written before about how much I love Baltimore, this city I call home, and how deeply it feels like a place that grieves—not just the people, but the city itself. Maybe that makes perfect sense to you, or maybe it doesn’t. Either way, it’s one of the reasons I always find my way back here. Grief doesn’t hide in the shadows in Baltimore; it lives out in the open.

This is a city where strangers say hi on the street, chat at bus stops, and casually mention the losses they carry. Women you don’t know call you “baby” (more often than “hon”), and people don’t shy away from conversations about grief the way it sometimes feels like they do elsewhere.

When I look around this city I love, I often find myself thinking about what grieving is.

It’s a hard question to answer, isn’t it? Grieving can feel almost ineffable. But somehow it made sense to share these photos with a challenge to make it effable (assuming “effable” is actually a word??). I offered my own words about what grieving is—specifically grieving and not grief—because the action of the word felt significant. And I invited our followers to do the same.

Grieving, in one word, is ________________________?

Below, you’ll find my photos and my attempts to give words to grieving. Scattered among them are the words others shared in response to this challenge (you can find the original post and comments here on Instagram). Not everyone stuck to the “one word” rule—because, let’s be honest, one word is tough. But sometimes, when we push ourselves to simplify, we clarify our own complicated and expansive experiences.

Take a look at the list. Add your own “Grieving is . . .” in the comments.

Grieving is learning

Grieving is initiation

Grieving is expansive

Grieving is daily

Grieving is surviving

Grieving is revealing

Grieving is full of surprises

Grieving is adjusting then readjusting. Constantly.

Grieving is yearning

Grieving is feeling

Grieving is life-shaking

Grieving is unpredictable

Grieving is deconstructing / Grieving is recontructing

Grieving is natural

Grieving is human

Grieving is real

Grieving is loving

Grieving is love

Grieving is transmutation

Grieving is part of life

Grieving is shapeshifting

Grieving is acknowledging

Grieving is learning to live without

Grieving is praise

Grieving is creating

Grieving is humbling

Grieving is devastating

Grieving is an irreparable emptiness

Grieving is remembering

Grieving is lonely

Grieving is spilling over, again and again.

Grieving is healing

Grieving is living

Grieving is re-living

Grieving is becoming

Grieving is re-learning

Grieving is exhausting

Grieving is all these things, all at once, everywhere