64 Quotes About Grief, Coping and Life After Loss

Coping with Grief / Coping with Grief : Eleanor Haley



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Here are 64 (okay fine, 63) quotes about grief, coping, and life after loss. Although we love a good grief quote, Litsa and I were slow to join in on the quote-pic phenomenon. The internet just seemed plastered with inspirational platitudes pasted on pictures of sunsets and rainbows. It all seemed so trite and reductive we decided not to add to the noise. Then we got over ourselves because, well, a good quote serves many purposes. A quote helps us put our own thoughts and feelings into perspective. It allows us to use the words of others to communicate or to convey a message. It helps us to feel a sense of commonality when we find our feelings, experiences, and observations match those of another. We hope something here resonates with you (and feel free to steal and share any of these images with your grieving family and friends).

"The times you lived through, the people you shared those times with; Nothing brings it all to life like an old mix tape. It does a better job of storing up memories than actual brain tissue can do. Every mix tape tells a story. Put them together, and they can add up to the story of a life." ~ Rob Sheffield, Love is a Mix Tape

"The times you lived through, the people you shared those times with; Nothing brings it all to life like an old mix tape. It does a better job of storing up memories than actual brain tissue can do. Every mix tape tells a story. Put them together, and they can add up to the story of a life."

~ Rob Sheffield, Love is a Mix Tape


"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die." ~ Thomas Campbell

"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die."

~ Thomas Campbell


"When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors. I can accept the idea of my own demise, but I am unable to accept the death of anyone else. I find it impossible to let a friend or relative go into that country of no return. Disbelief becomes my close companion, and anger follows in its wake. I answer the heroic question ‘Death, where is thy sting? ‘ with ‘ it is here in my heart and mind and memories.’" ~ Maya Angelou

"When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors.

I can accept the idea of my own demise, but I am unable to accept the death of anyone else.

I find it impossible to let a friend or relative go into that country to no return.

Disbelief becomes my close companion, and anger follows in its wake.

I answer the heroic question 'Death, where is thy sting?' with 'It is here in my heart and mind and memories.'"

~ Maya Angelou, When I Think of Death


"At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer, we remember them." ~ Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Reimer

"At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer, we remember them."

~ Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Reimer


"Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?" ~ Terry Pratchett

"Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?"

~ Terry Pratchett


"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." ~ Havelock Ellis

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on."

~ Havelock Ellis


"God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December." ~ J.M. Barrie

"God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December."

~ J.M. Barrie


"It's so curious; One can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses." ~ Colette

"It's so curious; One can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses."

~ Colette


"There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, so just give me a happy middle and a very happy start." ~ Shel Silverstein

"There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, so just give me a happy middle and a very happy start."

~ Shel Silverstein


"Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their canyons." ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

"Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their canyons."

~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


"Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone." ~ Rodgers and Hammerstein, Carousel

"Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone."

~ Rodgers and Hammerstein, Carousel


"On this bald hill the new year hones its edge.
Faceless and pale as china
The round sky goes on minding its business.
Your absence is inconspicuous;
Nobody can tell what I lack." ~Sylvia Plath, Parliament Hill Fields

"On this bald hill the new year hones its edge.

Faceless and pale as china

The round sky goes on minding its business.

Your absence is inconspicuous,

Nobody can tell what I lack."

~ Sylvia Plath, Parliament Hill Fields


"Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built of a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touches some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there." ~ Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

"Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built of a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touches some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there."

~ Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451


"When we have joy we crave to share; We remember them." ~ Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Riemer

"When we have joy we crave to share; We remember them."

~ Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Riemer


"Make the most of your regrets; Never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it 'til it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh." ~ Henry David Thoreau

"Make the most of your regrets; Never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it 'til it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh."

~ Henry David Thoreau


"I'll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through" ~ Billie Holiday, I'll Be Seeing You

"I'll be seeing you

In all the old familiar places

That this heart of mine embraces

All day through."

~ Billie Holiday, I'll Be Seeing You


"One more day, one more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied. But then again, I know what it would do. Leave me wishing still for one more day with you." ~ Diamond Rio, One More Day

"One more day

One more time

One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied

But then again

I know what it would do

Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you."

~ Diamond Rio, One More Day


"You gave me a forever within the numbered days…" ~ John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

"You gave me a forever within the numbered days…"

~ John Green, The Fault in Our Stars


"I would always look for clues to her in books and poems, I realized. I would always search for the echoes of the lost person, the scraps of words and breath, the silken ties that say, 'Look: She existed.'" ~ Meghan O'Rourke, Story's End

"I would always look for clues to her in books and poems, I realized. I would always search for the echoes of the lost person, the scraps of words and breath, the silken ties that say, 'Look: She existed.'"

~ Meghan O'Rourke, Story's End


"14 years. My longest relationship. My only experience of maternal love. My constant companion. My best friend. Duck." ~ Sarah Silverman on her dog, Duck

"14 years.

My longest relationship.

My only experience of maternal love.

My constant companon.

My best friend.

Duck."

~ Sarah Silverman, On Her Dog Duck


“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.” ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

~ Edna St. Vincent Millay


"Look closely and you will see almost everyone carrying bags of cement on their shoulders. That's why it takes courage to get out of bed in the morning and climb into the day." ~ Edward Hirsch

"Look closely and you will see almost everyone carrying bags of cement on their shoulders.

That's why it takes courage to get out of bed in the morning and climb into the day."

~ Edward Hirsch


"Losing my mother at such an early age is the scar of my soul. But I feel like it ultimately made me into the person I am today. I understand the journey of life. I had to go through what I did to be here." ~ Mariska Hargity

"Losing my mother at such an early age is the scar of my soul. But I feel like it ultimately made me into the person I am today. I understand the journey of life. I had to go through what I did to be here."

~ Mariska Hargity


"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." ~ Clarence Budington Kelland

"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."

~ Clarence Budington Kelland


"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." ~ C.S. Lewis

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."

~ C.S. Lewis


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"Ain't no shame in holding on to grief... as long as you make room for other things too."

~ "Bubbles," The Wire


"She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with It as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts." ~ George Eliot

"She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with It as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts."

~ George Eliot


"The holiest of holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart: The secret anniversaries of the heart." ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"The holiest of holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart: The secret anniversaries of the heart."

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


"When a child dies, you bury the child in your heart." ~ Korean Proverb

"When a child dies, you bury the child in your heart."

~ Korean Proverb


which is all but certain
then in the moment
before you will see me
become someone dead
in a transformation
as quick as a shooting star’s
I will cross over into you
and ask you to carry
not only your own memories
but mine too until you
too lie down and erase us
both together into oblivion." ~ Galway Kinnell, Promissory Note

"If I die before you
which is all but certain
then in the moment
before you will see me
become someone dead
in a transformation
as quick as a shooting star’s
I will cross over into you
and ask you to carry
not only your own memories
but mine too until you
too lie down and erase us
both together into oblivion."

~ Galway Kinnell, Promissory Note


"It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh, I wish I had a river
I could skate away on" ~ Joni Mitchell

"It's coming on Christmas

They're cutting down trees

They're putting up reindeer

And singing songs of joy and peace

Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on."

~ Joni Mitchell, River


"Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, 'It will be happier.'" ~ Alfred Tennyson

"Hope

Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,

Whispering 'It will be happier'..."

~ Alfred Tennyson


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"When our days become dreary with low-hovering clouds of despair, and when our nights become darker than a thousand midnights, let us remember that there is a creative force in this universe, working to pull down the gigantic mountains of evil, a power that is able to make a way out of no way and transform dark yesterdays into bright tomorrows."

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


"When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live." ~ Stuart Scott

"When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live."

~ Stuart Scott


"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Khalil Gibran

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."

~ Khalil Gibran


"Grief Sucks" ~ Everyone Ever

"Grief sucks."

~ Everyone Ever


"It takes strength to make your way through grief, to grab hold of life and let it pull you forward." ~ Patti Davis

"It takes strength to make your way through grief, to grab hold of life and let it pull you forward."

~ Patti Davis


"The healing power of even the most microscopic exchange with someone who knows in a flash precisely what you're talking about because she experienced that thing too cannot be overestimated." ~ Cheryl Strayed

"The healing power of even the most microscopic exchange with someone who knows in a flash precisely what you're talking about because she experienced that thing too cannot be overestimated."

~ Cheryl Strayed


"What separates us from animals, what separates us from the chaos, is our ability to mourn people we've never met." ~ David Levithan

"What separates us from animals, what separates us from the chaos, is our ability to mourn people we've never met."

~ David Levithan


"Someday soon, we all will be together, if the fates allow. Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow." ~ Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

"Someday soon, we all will be together

If the fates allow

Until then,

We'll have to muddle through somehow."

~ Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas


"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it Is not the same river and he is not the same man." ~ Heraclites

"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man."

~ Heraclitus


"Next person that minimizes my grief is getting a swift kick to the shin."

"Next person that minimizes my grief is getting a swift kick to the shin."


"Well, every one can master a grief but he that has it." ~ William Shakespeare

"Well, every one can master a grief but he that has it."

~ William Shakespeare


"So when you need her touch
And loving gaze
Gone but not forgotten
Is the perfect phrase
Smiling from a star
That she makes glow
Trust she's always there
Watching as you grow
Find her in the place
Where the lost things go" ~ The Place Where Lost Things Go Mary Poppins Returns

"So when you need her touch

And loving gaze

Gone but not forgotten

Is the perfect phrase

Smiling from a star

That she makes glow

Trust she's always there

Watching as you grow

Find her in the place

Where the lost things go."

~ The Place Where Lost Things Go, Mary Poppin Returns


"If there ever comes a day where we can't be together, keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever." ~ A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

"If there ever comes a day where we can't be together, keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever."

~ A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh


"The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love." ~ Kristina McMorris, Bridge of Scarlett Leaves

"The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love."

~ Kristina McMorris, Bridge of Scarlett Leaves


"Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything." ~ C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

"Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything."

~ C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed


"I will not say: Do not weep; For not all tears are evil." ~ JRR Tolkien, The Return of the King

"I will not say:

Do not weep;

For not all tears are evil."

~J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King


"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to." ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler

"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to."

~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler


"Give the sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break." ~ William Shakespeare, Macbeth

"Give the sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break."

~ William Shakespeare, Macbeth


"The song is ended, but the melody lingers on."~ Irving Berlin

"The song is ended, but the melody lingers on."

~ Irving Berlin


“When he shall die, Take him and cut him out in little stars. And he will make the face of heaven so fine. That all the world will be in love with night. And pay no worship to the garish sun.” ~ William Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet

"When he shall die,

Take him and cut him out in little stars,

And he will make the face of heaven so fine,

That all the world will be in love with night,

And pay no worship to the garish sun."

~ William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet


"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?" ~ Edgar Allen Poe

"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?"

~ Edgar Allan Poe


"Sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated." ~ Alphonse de Lamartine, Méditations Poétiques

"Sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated."

~ Alphonse de Lamartine, Méditations Poétiques


"Love is really the only thing we can possess, keep with us, and take with us." ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

"Love is really the only thing we can possess, keep with us, and take with us."

~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross


"An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior." ~ Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

"An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior."

~ Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning


"Death ends a life, not a relationship." ~ Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

~ Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie


"But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer." ~ Viktor E Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

"But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer."

~ Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning


"They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies." ~ William Penn

"They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies."

~ William Penn


"Life has to end. Love doesn't" ~ Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

"Life has to end.

Love doesn't."

~ Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven


"And once the storm is over you won't remember you how made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what the storm's all about." ~ Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

"And once the storm is over you won't remember you how made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what the storm's all about."

~ Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore


"What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us." ~ Hellen Keller

"What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us."

~ Helen Keller


Have a favorite grief quote we forgot? Share it below!

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182 Comments on "64 Quotes About Grief, Coping and Life After Loss"

Click here to leave a Comment
  1. Debbie  June 13, 2022 at 10:25 am Reply

    Today is my Mom’s birthday and it is her first birthday since she passed away last year and I am SO sad. Birthdays were a big deal in our family and it is just…painful.

    Sending love and light to all of us dealing with this everlasting pain called grief.

    8
  2. Elizabeth  May 19, 2022 at 9:45 am Reply

    Lost my sister to fentanyl overdose January 16th 2021. She was my best friend.she helped to save my life even though she couldn’t save her own. I miss her so much and can’t wait to see her again.

    12
  3. Traci Hudgens  May 10, 2022 at 4:23 pm Reply

    I lost both parents last August 2022; 8 days apart due to Covid. Mom passed on Saturday, August 21, dad passed the following Sunday, August 29, 2022. It is May and I am still having a hard time. I actually lost my sister (not physically), but as a family member; per her request. I have good days and bad days. It seems like it never goes away or gets easier. Just celebrated Mother’s Day (1st without my mom); tough. I am also angry that they passed from Covid as others I have read about. My heart now understands what “grief” really is. I’ve lost grandparents/friends and other family members; but there is just something about losing your mom and dad almost together. They were married 60 years last June. I feel like the world just keeps passing by and I can’t catch the train to continue on this journey. Sometimes I just want to sleep and go away somewhere far and start over; but that still wouldn’t solve the aching hole I have in my heart and life.

    21
    • Debbie  June 13, 2022 at 10:32 am Reply

      Traci,

      I am so VERY sorry that you are having to endure such pain. I know words are inadequate, but they are all I have.

      My parents are both gone, as well. However, they left 44 years apart. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling.

      My brothers are also gone, so…

      Well, I am sending you much love and light and hope that you are able to find a way to be happy again in life.

      5
    • Amanda  August 18, 2022 at 8:01 pm Reply

      It really hurts to see the whole world move on without them. It doesn’t make sense. How can everything just keep going. They made the world turn.

      5
  4. Leigh Lane  May 9, 2022 at 3:09 pm Reply

    These are beautiful and heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing. For those with a loved one in hospice care , this article about how to make important decisions during this sensitive and emotional time was very helpful to me and I hope it will help others. (website rededacted per site guidelines)

    2
  5. Ray  February 21, 2022 at 12:26 am Reply

    My wife of 7 years the love of my life dad of covid April 19th of last year we both went to the hospital along with my parents they kept me I was supposedly the worst I had double pneumonia and blood clots in my lungs they checked my wife and my parents out done some X-rays and sent them home she died the next day I never got to speak to her again I just can’t find any closure

    8
    • Gillian  March 1, 2022 at 4:10 pm Reply

      Dear Ray

      My thoughts are with you.
      Grief is the price of Love
      I hope you find some kind of closure
      Although you didn’t get to speak to
      Your wife again. I’m sure she knew
      How much you loved her I can tell just by reading your post.

      5
  6. Alex  February 5, 2022 at 7:06 pm Reply

    The song “I’ll Be Seeing You” was written by Sammy Fain! Performed/recorded by Billie Holliday.

    Sammy Fain was an American composer of popular music. In the 1920s and early 1930s, he contributed numerous songs that form part of The Great American Songbook, and to Broadway theatre. Fain was also a popular musician and vocalist. Wikipedia
    Born: June 17, 1902, New York, NY
    Died: December 6, 1989, Los Angeles, CA
    Spouse: Sally Fox (m. 1941–1949)
    Place of burial: Cedar Park Cemetery, Emerson
    Children: Frank Feinberg

    2
  7. Lisa  August 28, 2021 at 1:21 am Reply

    Preparing to observe the 14 anniversary of the death of my son Joe. He drowned on the labor day weekend at the age of 31….I think I’ll use the Shakespeare sonnet for my yearly quote. Grief never really changes…you just expand around it. And you learn that suffering is a part of life.

    12
    • Debbie  June 13, 2022 at 10:33 am Reply

      Lisa,

      I’m so VERY sorry for your tremendous loss.

      1
  8. kerry lacey  June 14, 2021 at 10:13 am Reply

    no matter how
    no matter when
    we don’t have to turn out the lights on the inside
    or say goodbye to what seems The end .

    trust your internal power
    trust your beating heart

    no matter how
    no matter when
    believe you’re not apart

    10
  9. kerry lacey  June 14, 2021 at 9:41 am Reply

    Although there is pain and despair in the darkness,
    Hold onto what is good and true ,
    And that is that joy and light ,
    Will be there in the morning after ,
    Just practice being brave ,
    until you graduate to strong ,
    just tell fear to back off ,
    and take off that mask ,
    when people ask what’s wrong ,
    tell them …….
    your heart is on the operating table and getting dressed in gauze,
    and you are not sure when you’ll be better,
    and that you’re going through a storm ,
    Hold only onto what to come to any good,
    Your new beginning and a new day awaits .
    Hold tight, you can get through this .

    8
    • Eric  June 29, 2022 at 6:14 pm Reply

      Hi Kerry,
      Thanks for these nice words of encouragement. Are these your words or from a quote? We would like to use them in a book.

      Please let us know if you are not the author.
      Thank you!

      2
  10. Virgie Syzdek  March 28, 2021 at 6:04 pm Reply

    Falling Leaves. It’s a Memoir.

    1
  11. Peter Kalos  November 18, 2020 at 7:27 am Reply

    My daughter took her own life three weeks ago at the tail end of the Covid 19 lockdown… I can hardly breathe.

    36
    • Andrea D.  December 12, 2020 at 1:29 pm Reply

      Dear Peter – I am so sorry for your loss. I cry with you. 💕

      -Andrea

      1
      • Natangwe Shinana  October 24, 2022 at 3:11 pm

        My baby daddy just died last month . I am not couping well ,

    • JoyD  December 29, 2020 at 3:47 am Reply

      Oh Peter, I am so sad to hear this. I hope you are able to breathe through the waves of grief that can be overwhelming at times. Sending strength and love.

      2
    • Kathleen  March 20, 2021 at 3:11 pm Reply

      Peter, I am so very sorry. I can empathize with you. We lost our son 8/30/20. We now live a life that we don’t recognize. As parents, we are not built to cope with the loss of our children, regardless of age. The last 7 months have been hell. I truly feel your sadness. I will pray for you, as you continue to walk this life. We will see our children again. My condolences.

      1
    • jacqueline l Powell  March 24, 2021 at 3:02 pm Reply

      I am so very sorry for your loss, and know that I hope you somehow get peace and strength during these hard times.

      1
    • Travis  April 21, 2022 at 4:37 pm Reply

      These were somehow both comforting and heart wrenching to read. 3 days ago on April 18th I suddenly lost my fiancee. We’d only been together for 4 years but in that time she’d shown me what unconditional love truly felt like. I can’t even put into words how remarkable and beautiful she was. We helped each other grow and learn both as a couple and as individuals. She showed me strengths and weaknesses I could have never imagined I had, and helped me learn to improve on them. Even during the darkest hours of our relationship (and trust me they were DARK) there was never a time when we let the situation make us lose sight of the love and companionship we had. No matter how bad any fight got, we came out the other side stronger. She was my twin flame, I have no doubts about that. My other half. Now she’s gone and honestly I’m still kind of in shock. There’s this nearly unbearable pressure in my chest, I’ve been perpetually on the verge of tears since I heard the news but I haven’t been able to truly and honestly cry. I haven’t slept a wink, every day is like I’m in a fog. I feel like I’m not allowing myself to fully come to terms with it because I’m not strong enough to handle a loss like this. I’ve lost 2 of my best friends before and my Uncle who was like a father to me growing up but this…. I didn’t even know I could feel like this. She’s dead and so is the part of myself that I gave to her, I know that nothing will ever fill that missing piece again. So I’m just left here, alive, a fraction of who I once was.

      3
  12. Gopi patel  January 28, 2020 at 1:52 am Reply

    Well thanks for posting such an outstanding idea.

    2
  13. Shirley Enebrad  January 24, 2020 at 2:53 pm Reply

    I remember my friend Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ quote as, “Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their carvings.”

    1
  14. Susan Dryden Henderson  January 22, 2020 at 10:48 pm Reply

    The quotes and comments here have helped me feel less alone.
    I was exceptionally close to my only sister and she died age 45 ten years ago. She was a person who lit up rooms, immensely charismatic and funny and capable. She had been married with two fine teenage children when life started to go wrong and a tragic chain of events had left her isolated in a small unfriendly market town. Her struggle was unnoticed as she spiraled down and tragically died, still a great beauty aged 45. I stayed in the hospital two weeks by her unconscious body and had to deal with ending her life support when they said there was no possible chance of a meaningful recovery. My lovely sister, who was all my soul. They left me alone to enact that by physically removing her breathing tube and watching while she slowly died. I then had to tell my poor old mam and dad and everybody else.
    She’d been my best friend and we’d done much on our own together in strange and lonesome places as my dad had travelled us round the world with his work when we were young. We were twin souls with a shared history and view and, as we’d grown older, we’d been each others only friend. We’d climbed echelons together and had our days in the limelight but ultimately had each seen much disappointment and betrayal when we’d hoped, and invested time in others and the wider world.
    After her incomprehensible death I had much to do so soldiered on, as you do, shell shocked, in deep inconsolable, endless anguish. I didn’t know you could cry that much for that long, all day, every day, for months and months before it reduced at all. I walked the country fields and city streets endlessly, talking to her spirit. It was my only comfort, to imagine her still by my side, as ever, yearning, as on one of our day-long meanderings of old.
    Socially, we’d been very much a double-act. I didn’t make sense without her. My whole character had evolved to be half of this entity that was us. I was all lopsided and broken without her.
    It also seemed all my motivation had gone. There was no reason to go anywhere as there was nobody to tell afterwards. There was nobody to care, about yesterday’s work discussions or my big night out. What was the point of anything. Nobody was interested what I’d worn and still less wanted to hear the latest episode in all the small triumphs, disappointments, betrayals, hopes and dreams that only she knew.
    My partner shared in the immediate tragedy but I fear he became bored and impatient and maybe ultimately disgusted by the depth of my grief.
    I could hear that expressing today’s thoughts on my loss sounded self indulgent and repetitive, while internally each day felt like I had a new angle on this grief, these events, a different nuance of emotion that I desperately needed to express and share ….
    Six months later, my super-healthy, ex international athlete, sharp, hardworking, dignified, brave and talented dad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. I went home to be his nurse for a few months. He was so uncomplaining, taking only paracetamol and getting up and getting dressed until his last few days. He died on the first anniversary of her funeral.
    I fear the grief for loss of one of his only two daughters must have precipitated the illness. I suspect he felt he’d been unkind to her regarding her recent failings though he never said so to me. Poor dear lovely dad. Dear, self-sacrificial, strong, reliable, protective dad.
    He had been my other soul mate. We used to watch the news together and know that on any new issue that we’d never discussed before, our shared sense of justice and logic and taking the longer view would mean that we’d both formed the same opinion on it.
    There had however been an old fashioned formality, a certain kind of distance in our relationship that he and my sister and I had each newly begun to get past with him. We had just begun entering a new adult-adult gentler more expressive era of knowing and hearing and telling. Now he was gone. She was gone.
    My partner was somehow less involved. He went out lots. Meanwhile at weekends I consoled myself with my long walks and endless gardening on my hands and knees listening to the birds in the trees and wind through the woods by my cottage home.
    Meanwhile my job, my work, the grindings of responsibilities was becoming more demanding and Machiavellian machinations were afoot and socially things were kicking off badly and I was still fully in the the aftermath of my sister’s death and hardly yet able to process that loss so that my most beloved dad’s death seemed muted and foggy and rushed unsatisfactorily acknowledged and respected. After his death I had much to do back home and at work but needed to use all my holiday time and weekends to come back to visit poor mamma who was now so cruelly alone.
    A year or two earlier we’d notice that funny good little mammy was slowly becoming more and more forgetful. She never knew but she was very slowly losing her wits to dementia. Oh, beautiful, bold, energetic, gentle, virtuous, humble, simple mamma. She’d always had a special dread of dementia.
    My partner and I had for twenty years or more always said that we’d look after our parents as they declined, and almost automatically agreed that in this case that I should give up a couple of years to stay and look after her. She lived in another county a few hundred miles away, and while she still knew and appreciated her familiar home and connections it seemed cruel and counterproductive to move her. I estimated two years, after which time, as her orientation and awareness grew worse, where she was located might matter less.
    It was a great time, in its way; just me and Mammy in the old familiar family home, walking the coast and country together every day, a little shopping, lunches and afternoon teas, but mostly, walking sea and hill and dale, talking, admiring over and over the sky, the waves, the trees, the seasonal changes; and over the same homely memories. It was a happy comfort to me to be in the company of the only other soul who remembered and cared. We were happy in our way, when we lived just in the moment, In this world of our own.
    I suppose, having lost everyone else (all the grandparents, aunties and uncles, all, all were gone), made us greatly appreciate our time together. On some level we must have known these were the mast of days.
    Of course, my mam slowly deteriorated, not sleeping, mood swings, and totally unable to be left alone even for an hour. This was often too physically and emotionally and psychologically wearing for me with never any break at all.
    For a whole year I could find no suitable respite care to allow me to visit my own home and partner. After a year, despite our long discussions and assurance to the contrary, he still didn’t visit me, but there were work reasons and others relating to his parents that I could put his lack of visiting time down to. Then he stopped phoning, and eventually, as we were nearing the two year mark for our distancing, he asked me to “let him go”. He’d taken up with a replacement 30 years my junior.
    This coincided with my mam being in her first respite care and, in my view, neglect (they’d ignored my precise written health care and medication instructions ) leading to dehydration, kidney infection, pneumonia and hospital admission.
    On arrival at the hospital I explained she needed rehydration and antibiotics and bowel evacuation and whilst they took an age to get it done it was like watering a plant. She was once again alert and eating and drinking. I thought she was going to get better and was shocked when they said she was in the end of days. There’d been kidney and organ damage.
    I insisted they never said that directly to her but we reassured her that although it was unlikely she was going to die any time soon, I would be with her and it would be fine when that distant day came.
    I then sat in the hospital for a month watching her slip away.
    I took the opportunity of intermittently playing her favourite hymns, country, folk and blues. One of our great enjoyments had been singing the old local songs together as we walked or when sat at home. My mam had lived to dance. But now, she was going down. She declined food and even a teaspoon of water was resolutely declined.
    Oddly, a few months before all this she’d increasingly started to intermittently say “I’m gonna die”, or “I wanna die”. When asked if she’d felt poorly or uncomfortable or if anything was hurting always said no. She looked happy most of the time, chatting and joking.
    She had a vision of the resurrection one day, pointing out of the window into the garden sky, watching all the bodies going up “like a football match”.
    So, soon, she then died. I ensured it was “peaceful”.
    Again, I had to organise all the funeral (which was unbelievably beautiful) and paperwork and admin. Then …. I was alone. Really alone. Really really alone.
    I have no mother, father, sister, brother (I never had), child (I never had), husband or partner.
    A decade ago, I was a popular, happening person, with a mam, dad, sister, partner, job, home, and social circle. Now, I am one of those odd people you hear of who have nobody. Me. I’m not that. But I am.
    I hear people mourn their one grief, or two, or three, but everybody seems to still have somebody, and somebody’s everything.
    I long now to matter. To be known.
    Just me and my old Mammy was fine. She loved me. I loved her. We were the most important person in the world to each other. We lived for each other. She thought I was great and I thought she was.
    We all need to be somebody’s person, don’t we; be somebody’s responsibility; next of kin for forms and emergencies; Christmas.
    It’s terrible to know that nobody will be much bereft for long if I die.
    I’m only just turned 60. All this coincided with me hitting that age that suddenly sounds “old person”. The sort of age that might be expected to be lonely. People sometimes take me for fifteen years or so less and I am fit and healthy and slim and up to my virtues still had modeling offers so I’m not old, old; yet I am.
    How will I go on?
    My partner, who was all my joy and all my delight, gone. All my family, gone. They seemed to me a superior lot too. I can’t see how anybody would be offering to replace them but even if they did I doubt they would do.
    People with whom I strike up acquaintance seem to lack the depth, the gravitas, the soul or spirit I need to feel any satisfaction in their company. I long for true connection but don’t know if it’s possible jet alone likely.
    It was wonderful to read all the above from all the other lost and lonely souls to understand that much of what I feel has been felt by many a good soul since time began.

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    • Sian  February 1, 2020 at 6:22 am Reply

      Dear Susan- I cannot begin to comprehend how you feel. I am so terribly sorry for the tragedy and grief you have experienced. I hope you find some happiness and love in your life. I will pray for you. Sending you love ♥️

      8
    • Shelley L Dumire  October 25, 2020 at 12:18 pm Reply

      Susan, The opening of your heart and sharing of the sadness it has endured is incredible. You’re so strong & such an inspiration. I know this was written months ago, but I’m just seeing it now & I hope you too might see this reply because it’s important for you to know that you’ve touched others. We’re perfect strangers yet I feel a bit closer to you now… thank you for sharing your stories, as heart wrenching as they have been… as I sit here testy eyed, mourning moly own loss, I somehow feel less alone & that’s something. Thank you for that & I wish you love & light to replenish your soul & smiles so big they make your cheeks hurt, & full belly laughs so deep you use muscles you’d forgotten you had. Most of all, I wish you peace… in your life & in your heart. Thank you.

      5
  15. peachey  January 4, 2020 at 10:53 am Reply

    with none of these I found peace. I’m so young but yet so hurt, Im 13. I lost the person who was my gravity, when she left the world my soul left with her. she left at the worst time as I had lost my dad. Did you know a daughters first love from the other gender is her father. Although you may not understand the pain I go through. thanks for putting hope in others hands. I feel selfish to hate that she left me. teachers are constantly one about “you can talk to us. we know when our students are sad.” tbh it’s a load of crap. I sit in class thinking of ways to get lost. Constantly leaving class and just running. I don’t know were I run half the time. my feet just takes me. to who ever reads this. I’m young but I have Something to say. for me look into a mirror, say this to yourself, “your a gorgeous human being who was given the gift of life.” A hella bumpy road then in unprincipled, its called a adventure. cherish every second of your life as you will never know when it may end. why did god take someone that meant so much? I will never know. don’t feel pity. as bad as it all sounds “things happens for reasons. Those reasons will lead to something better.” -Bryenna Peachey.

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    • John Holland  January 7, 2020 at 5:12 am Reply

      Yes you are right as I have read your grief. We are always gonna grieve someone so loved by us. It saddens me greatly for one as young as you to lose your beloved. I will leave you with knowing their is way forward, upward and out of your sorrow. Time does not heal the hurt but you talking with someone about your loss in time will. Today is my wife’s birthday and I lost her on April 7 of last year. And my son on April 15, 2004. So I know pain quite well. And my sympathy goes out to you. I am not anyone to really give advice but I read this and felt compelled to write this to you.

      7
  16. QrCode de votre lien  November 21, 2019 at 10:24 am Reply

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    1
  17. Shawna Tresenriter  October 5, 2019 at 1:53 am Reply

    My boyfriend Charlie passed away suddenly yesterday evening 10/03/2019 .. We were together for just over 9 YEARS. He was just 30 years old. We were building a life together and really wanting to make all our hopes and dreams of having a family of our own a reality..

    I just CAN’T believe he’s gone..

    I love you babe! You will always be on it mind and forever in my heart FOREVER AND EVER BABY!!

    PLEASE WATCH OVER ME AND YOU MOM & BROTHERS AN YOUR SISTER AN HELP US TO BE STRONG.. PLEASE LET ME KNOW THAT YOU ARE OKAY, AND ARE THINKING ABOUT ME TOO!!

    I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!! XoXo
    Rest easy my love, an I know one day we’ll be in each other’s arms again, see you on the other side..

    Forever Your babygirl, She Hustle

    1
    • Shari  November 11, 2019 at 12:56 am Reply

      I lost my soulmate, my fiance the love of my life in Oct 26. I can feel every once if your pain right now. I’m so sorry. I cannot walk out of this fog that will not leave me. I feel like my life is slow motion and dream like. Nothing matters. Flavor has left food, chill has left the air. I finally understand what it means to feel numb.

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    • Sienna tresenriter  February 6, 2020 at 5:13 pm Reply

      I feel your loss. My whole life was pretty bad but I knew then someday my mom would step up and do better. Get rid of the men who abused me. Stop coming home high and to just settle down get a real job and just love us instead of yell and hit and throw. She never got that chance though because it was to late. When I was eight I was taken away permanently and put into a foster home and then later adopted. It was as if I was thrown off the planet and forgotten by her. After I was adopted she stopped visiting,writing, or keeping any contact at all. I wish I got to say goodbye. I never knew when our last day would come. I wrote you letters but you never responded. I then wrote you everyday for a year and keep each letter hidden safe in my room. The only info I heard about you is that you went to jail or just now that Charlie died. I missed you so much I almost couldn’t handle. I almost committed suicide because I didn’t know any to live with out you. It’s just sad to hear you moved on and wanted to start a new family. We’re just alike we like to numb the pain and run away from our pain and problems. I haven’t seen you for five years and I’m almost 15 now. You will never leave my heart and my love for you will never fade. I need a sign. I need to know what that you still think of me. I can’t remember your touch or the sound of your voice and Im gonna fight like hell to make that happen I just need you to meet me halfway. I’ll wait like I have been but I won’t forget you. I love you more than anything I just need to see you. Love you mommy forever and always ????

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    • Sienna Tresenriter  February 6, 2020 at 5:21 pm Reply

      I need to see you in person pls just give me a chance ??

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      • Glee  November 19, 2020 at 5:13 am

        I am not your mom but reading your post made me think of my own daughter who just turned 16 yesterday…. I didn’t get to see her because she lives with her father. I’m sure your mother thinks of you several times everyday. Even though she made mistakes when you were little it didn’t mean she didn’t love you. Those mistakes were her own. She was most likely battling depression along with addiction. Those things would’ve been completely separate from her love for you- unfortunately sometimes people aren’t strong enough to do what they know in their heart is right…. Im sure she misses you and regrets everything that led to you being taken from her. Have you tried to find her by searching online? Are you still in contact with anyone on her side of the family that could help you communicate with her? She’s probably ashamed and afraid that you hate her… maybe she is unable to contact you for legal reasons relating to your adoption. If you are unable to search for her for some reason but you want to, I could help you. Keep your head up sweetie. Your mother misses & loves you too….

        4
  18. Carolyn  September 26, 2019 at 3:56 pm Reply

    I am a freshman and over the summer my cousin/best friend committed suicide and every night i cry about it. Plus, to make things so much worse, the juniors in my school are making a float to be a memorial for him for homecoming. And now even though it was in june, i still cry everytime i hear his name. and everytime i close my eyes i see him walking up to me and hugging me like he used to do and there are times that it gets so hard to live without him and i just lock myself in my room because i miss him so much.

    1
  19. Lorie  June 13, 2019 at 9:40 am Reply

    50 years ago today my husband’s entire family; his Father, Mother and 2 brothers, were killed in a car accident. He was the lone survivor. He was 12 years old, an American kid alone in Thailand. He put on a tough shell and refused to cry. After all, he had been taught that boys don’t cry. He refused to give into the grief.

    We met 8 years later. I thought that I could love him enough to make it better. After 40 years of marriage, 5 children and 1 grand child- I know better. We have a good life but the pain is always just under the surface. Never really spoken of. He has never allowed himself to process it.

    So, I send this message out anonymously to the universe to acknowledge the pain. And beg patents to let your boys cry.

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  20. Priscella Valles  May 26, 2019 at 7:14 am Reply

    I cant help but feel so sad story after story and feeling somewhat relieved knowing I’m so not alone.. Jan 23 2018 my middle child tried her hardest to commit suicide at 14 and she laid in a coma for 4 days thank the lord for not taking her home it wasn’t her time .. 2weeks to that dark 23rd day in Jan on Feb 6th my father my hero the man who never left me went into a coma and died a few days later .. he beat 2 rounds of cancer one being lymphoid cancer and the 2nd being prostate cancer and turns around and dies of pneumonia.. drove himself 20 min away to a hospital at 4 am with 2 kidney failures and both lungs collapsed septic at check in .. that was my daddy strongest man I ever knew.. the one thing I got out sitting with my daughter as she , we fought to keep her alive was that my daddy sat with me for the 4 nites she slept comforting me from 10 PM to 4 am so I wouldn’t be alone when everyone else stayed at home to rest.. something I couldn’t do.. the day she woke up we said our goodbyes and we both cried because my daughters life was saved and all along the lord was actually preparing me for what was to come… my daddy going to heaven.. then if it couldn’t get any worse 6 months to later my niece, my best friend ,my daughter and sister all in one we were only 12 yrs apart fell out and died suddenly at 4 months pregnant carrying twins in her belly which we also lost.. now a year later I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure at the age of 44, they say my arteries are clogged but I think my heart can’t take any more pain.. I have 5 children from ages 27 to 9 and I feel so helpless with them I have been in a dark cloud I can’t seem to find my out of.. I cannot find a happy place even though I should be the happiest mother out there for I have all five of my babies still but this has been a bit much and now my heart is giving up on me.. or is it me giving up i don’t know how to crawl out of this i wish i can wake up and it will all be over and be the happy momma i need to be.. thank u all for your sharing as i see I’m not alone in this dark cloud . May God bless u all and may all see the light at the end of the tunnel
    .

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    • Doctor Nana  June 8, 2019 at 10:47 am Reply

      Priscella
      Your story compelled me to reply. I do not know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds my tomorrow. I sense you have a strong faith and even though it has been tested by death and disease, it will not die. I hope that you are actively engaging in self-care, partnering with your health care providers and looking at all the vast options to take care of you first. You can not take care of others, until you take care of self.

      1
    • Bridget Aiken  June 10, 2019 at 10:28 pm Reply

      I just want to share with you: My friend, Barbara Stone, was English… About 86 when she passed away Last Jan 24th. Whenever I was having a bad day or there was a hardship in my life, she would look at me steadfastly with those steel blue “Betty Davis” eyes and say,”We MUST carry on.” It is those words that have helped me during strife. CARRY ON, Priscilla. Don’t give up. You must be strong and PRESENT for those who look to you and depend on you. GOD BLESS!

      1
    • Melody Hope  August 7, 2019 at 1:29 pm Reply

      Priscella,

      Don’t give up, you could out live us all….Cherish the memories of your lost love ones, and be Thankful God gave you such wonderful family to love, some don’t have that…My daughter has colon cancer, 34 years old, married with three kids, she is my best friend, I could not imagine living without her…I pray for her every day, she is a fighter and is getting better, it is still hard I can’t seem to let go of the fear . But I do treasure our every moment together and I always have…None of us are promised a tomorrow! You have a lot to live for, you sound like a very beautiful, loving person, hang in there, this is your time to take care of yourself! I will pray for you and your daughter……Sincerely, Hope

  21. Tupa'i  April 29, 2019 at 6:29 pm Reply

    I lost my brother to suicide. Both my parents were present when the suicide happened as it was just outside in the street in front of our home. The grieving for them was a suffering that slowly took them. Less than two years later, my mother died of cancer, my father in his heartache suffered a heart attack and followed my mom soon after. In less than two years after that, just yesterday my brother-in-law died unexpectedly of cardiac arrest after just checking into ER for stomach pains. Grieving becomes a part of us. I still grieve my brother and parents everyday. Some days are good and some are filled with tears and memories, guilt and regrets. Currently, I grieve my brother-in-law, but more painful is witnessing the pain my sister and her children are going through in his loss. This is another type of grieving for me, seeing your loved ones mourning their loved ones. Thank you for these quotes and sayings, I found it while looking for something to send to my sister in her mourning.

    1
    • Coach Salif  May 24, 2019 at 1:05 pm Reply

      I am terribly sorry! Almost too much to read, you’ve had to endure so much.
      You are undoubtedly a very resilient and courageous individual.
      Just in case you would be need of a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to,
      Please know that I’d like to be there for you holding a safe space.

    • Dominique  June 4, 2021 at 1:03 pm Reply

      I’m so sorry. 😪

  22. Lillian  April 19, 2019 at 8:42 am Reply

    Today is the first anniversary of my ex-husband’s death. As a friend pointed out, this is the second “first anniversary” of his death, something I had not realized, because like my friend’s father’s death, it happened on a Holiday that changes dates from year to year. So although my husband passed on Easter weekend last year, and that was in March, this year Easter isn’t until April, this weekend in fact. My body went into depression in March; limbs heavy as cement, dragging through days. The lifting of oppressive weather started to help some, the lighter days, the warmer weather, but now the observance is here. No way around it. Good Friday is here. Today.
    Last Good Friday I was at the church where I play piano. I had found a beautiful song I’d never heard before about Jesus dying. The repeating words throughout the song were, “And He never said a mumbling word.” I sang this as a prelude to the service, at the piano, welled up with emotion.
    Before, during, and after the song, I had a powerful premonition to go directly to my ex-husband.
    Of course I told myself, “I can’t. I’m doing the music for a Good Friday service, and my car is in the shop. I’m at the mercy of others for a ride. No one would understand this. I don’t understand it myself.” I continued on with the service, knowing that even after the service would end, I would not be able to go see him because of not having my car.
    The next day he was found dead by his best friend, who was also his landlord. They said he could have been there as long as 24 hours. It was a horrible, unexpected death from the flu complicated because he also had diabetes. Furniture was knocked over in the living room; a small bookcase. A tall lamp was knocked over and broken. His glasses were under the couch. They had to call his phone to find it. Somehow he had made it to his bedroom. There was vomit everywhere.
    He was on his back. It seems he went unconscious and aspirated on his vomit. This is beyond horrific that he should die such a horrific death, ALONE.
    His friend started screaming when he found him. He had a friend go in with him because he had a bad feeling when the phone AND knocking on the door brought no results.
    Tonight I have to go and play piano for that SAME Good Friday service. I am screaming out, “NO!” inside. But there is no one else to take my place. I have my own car for tonight, and my daughter is willing to go with me, to make tonight DIFFERENT. But the different I WANT can’t happen. The different I WANT is to drive to him after the service. To be there in time to help him with his illness,
    to call for medical help, to get him on his side so he wouldn’t drown on his vomit, but most of all to
    tell him I still love him, and always will.

    1
  23. Lillian  April 19, 2019 at 8:31 am Reply

    Today is the first anniversary of my ex-husband’s death. As a friend pointed out, this is the second “first anniversary” of his death, something I had not realized, because like my friend’s father’s death, it happened on a Holiday that changes dates from year to year. So although my husband passed on Easter weekend last year, and that was in March, this year Easter isn’t until April, this weekend in fact. My body went into depression in March; limbs heavy as cement, dragging through days. The lifting of oppressive weather started to help some, the lighter days, the warmer weather, but now the observance is here. No way around it. Good Friday is here. Today.
    Last Good Friday I was at the church where I play piano. I had found a beautiful song I’d never heard before about Jesus dying. The repeating words throughout the song were, “And He never said a mumbling word.” I sang this as a prelude to the service, at the piano, welled up with emotion.
    Before, during, and after the song, I had a powerful premonition to go directly to my ex-husband.
    Of course I told myself, “I can’t. I’m doing the music for a Good Friday service, and my car is in the shop. I’m at the mercy of others for a ride. No one would understand this. I don’t understand it myself.” I continued on with the service, knowing that even after the service would end, I would not be able to go see him because of not having my car.
    The next day he was found dead by his best friend, who was also his landlord. It was a horrible, unexpected death from the flu complicated because he also had diabetes. Furniture was knocked over in the living room; a small bookcase. A tall lamp was knocked over and broken. His glasses were under the couch. They had to call his phone to find it. Somehow he had made it to his bedroom. There was vomit everywhere.
    He was on his back. It seems he went unconscious and aspirated on his vomit. This is beyond horrific that he should die such a horrific death, ALONE.
    His friend started screaming when he found him. He had a friend go in with him because he had a bad feeling when the phone AND knocking on the door brought no results.
    Tonight I have to go and play piano for that SAME Good Friday service. I am screaming out, “NO!” inside. But there is no one else to take my place. I have my own car for tonight, and my daughter is willing to go with me, to make tonight DIFFERENT. But the different I WANT can’t happen. The different I WANT is to drive to him after the service. To be there in time to help him with his illness,
    to call for medical help, to get him on his side so he wouldn’t drown on his vomit, but most of all to
    tell him I still love him, and always will.

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  24. N. East  March 27, 2019 at 6:59 pm Reply

    Four years ago today I lost my oldest child. My son, 31 years old. I am blessed to have 3 other children who I love deeply. They have supported me in my grief until this past year. They are tired of my sadness, they are tired of me weeping, they want their mom back. Two of them have bonded closer than ever and I love the way they love each other but I’m hurt at the wall that’s been put up and pushed me out. They’ve said I’m negative and I talk to much about my son and how things “would be” if he were here.
    I’m lost and I’m broken and I do talk about him and I do think things would be different if he were here. Is that wrong? I am single and don’t have anyone to share my feelings with in an emotional and intimate way. I need my children. How do I get them back? How am I going to be the same when I am no longer whole? Please help me.

    4
    • Hitesh Mehta  March 29, 2019 at 10:26 pm Reply

      Hey, its perfectly normal what you are going through and the reaction you are receiving is normal too. I am a son who today marks 5th anniversary my mother, she slept and never woke up , it took me 3 years to feel normal again, I was not able to let go of her and the pain resulted in a heart attack in the first 3 months, meds were not helping as I was grieving. Finally I remembered her words to me that I have to take care of the family and the only way I could do this was by healing. The one and only thing that helped me was to stop thinking about living without her. My entire life revolved around her and even today when I think of her and what am i doing here without her in my life my heart aches literally as though I will have another attack, i had to fulfill her wish and continue to live for the rest of the family. In next 14 months I lost my father.

      I shared this with you as I can feel your pain as a mother, and I would request you to just try focusing on the loved ones around and with you, they need you. The more you detach yourself, the more you will be lonely, no one will understand the depth of your pain. Everyone has their own way and time to heal, some take days, some weeks, some months and people like me years. We all have to live with our own problems, life keeps moving, we stop, but if you love the ones around you then the best way to heal is to keep going with the flow, without thinking whether it’s right or wrong, just embrace your children around you feel their love, live for them as they need you more than you know. Whenever you think of your son, think that he is working in another country and he is happy, coz he is seeing you in so much pain and believe me it will hurt him more to be the reason for this pain. So please change way you think and keep moving ahead slowly slowly everything will fall in place. It won’t be the same but it sure will be comforting to the other loved ones around you.

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      • Zina Sattler Jimenez  May 23, 2019 at 10:00 pm

        I just read your comment in reply to another in reguard’s to grief. When you wrote about grieving the loss of your mother and how it has been hard to let go as well the fact that your time & daily life was spent with her really struck a cord in me. Today around 5:30 in the morning my mom passed away. We were told by the doctor just 6 days ago that her test results showed she had stage 4 rectal cancer which had spread to both lungs, lymph nodes & stomach. I had no time to deal with the shock of such terrible news because less than 2 days later my mom took a turn for the worse and went from being her usual alert self to confused & struggling to breathe & then started her rapid decline until her death 4 days later. I stayed those 4 days and nights with her in hospital advocating for her medication treatment to ensure her a comfortable dying process yet she still suffered because the staff there would not listen to me and instead of giving her strong meds immediately it took a little more than half of those 4 days until she started calming down & feeling comfortable as my continuing battle with the medical team finally listened to me. Even with all that in the final 24 hours she had one of the most heartbreaking struggles (My dad died of cancer in 2004 whom I also was in charge of his care and I have spent 20 years as a nurse and 5 of those years as a hospice nurse so I am comparing my moms struggle only to the people dying of cancer I personally witnessed & cared for) I had to see and care for. With no sleep these past 4 days and no break from staying with my mom plus it being just 6 days from being told she had cancer up to her death this morning, I never had a chance or any time to get past my initial shock of hearing the news of her test results. I realize its been only hours since her passing so my grief is still fresh but I wanted to reply to your comment because like you my mom was a part of my daily life. She was my closest confident and I was also her carer. So basically my job involved her and my social circle involved her along with her being my mom. Just 4 years ago my husband was killed leaving behind myself & our son so I was even more grateful to have my mom on top of my usual gratefulness to have her. I had not planned to come across this page let alone read people’s comments on their own stories of grief but I thank God I did. Reading about your own painful journey of grief in the loss of your mom really touched me as well as the similarities we both share did help ease a bit of my agony. Thank you for sharing your story here and I hope you don’t mind me sharing with you my story. Again thank you & God bless you and your mom.

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      • Zina Sattler Jimenez  May 23, 2019 at 10:15 pm

        I just read your comment in reply to another in reguard’s to grief. When you wrote about grieving the loss of your mother and how it has been hard to let go as well the fact that your time & daily life was spent with her really struck a cord in me. Today around 5:30 in the morning my mom passed away. We were told by the doctor just 6 days ago that her test results showed she had stage 4 rectal cancer which had spread to both lungs, lymph nodes & stomach. I had no time to deal with the shock of such terrible news because less than 2 days later my mom took a turn for the worse and went from being her usual alert self to confused & struggling to breathe & then started her rapid decline until her death 4 days later. I stayed those 4 days and nights with her in hospital advocating for her medication treatment to ensure her a comfortable dying process yet she still suffered because the staff there would not listen to me and instead of giving her strong meds immediately it took a little more than half of those 4 days until she started calming down & feeling comfortable as my continuing battle with the medical team finally listened to me. Even with all that in the final 24 hours she still showed signs of discomfort & it was so hard to witness. With only roughly 6 hours of sleep in the past 4 days and only hours since her passing, my grief is still fresh but I wanted to reply to your comment because like you my mom was a part of my daily life. She was my closest confident and I was also her carer. So basically my job involved her and my social circle involved her along with her being my mom. Just 4 years ago my husband was killed leaving behind myself & our son so I was even more grateful to have my mom on top of my usual gratefulness to have her. I had not planned to come across this page let alone read people’s comments on their own stories of grief but I thank God I did. Reading about your own painful journey of grief in the loss of your mom really touched me as well as the similarities we both share did help ease a bit of my agony. Thank you for sharing your story here and I hope you don’t mind me sharing with you my story. Again thank you & God bless you and your mom.

    • Megan  April 6, 2019 at 5:06 pm Reply

      Find a counselor to talk to. If you are single, then you need someone to share your feelings with. Your kids are going through their own grief and clearly don’t understand how you feel. It’s best to stop talking to them about your son and save it for a counselor.

    • Fina Iudici  June 6, 2019 at 1:01 am Reply

      Sorry about your loose. I have lost my nephew Anthony at the age of 21 years old. I have grief and regrets that I wasn’t there for him as he suffered from an addiction. These was a sign of God to take away his pain as he has suffered many years of a disease that nobody can figure out on their own terms. I pray for my brother that has lost his precious son to the heavens and gates of God. There is nothing we can do but cherish the memories in our hearts and forgive one another smile and enjoy the life we have on earth. My sweet nephew has become an angel of God may he Rest In Peace and give my brother the strength to carry on .

    • Jenifer Hope Dawson-Amar  October 25, 2019 at 4:25 am Reply

      Hug them and remind them how much you need them. Tell them that they must all keep their brothers memory alive and put your pain and loss in an imaginary box and put it on a shelf. Wake up each day and remember what you have that is still alive. Be thankful for the time you had with your son. His destiny was to pass . Hopefully he will be reborn and live another longer lifetime. Until then he will always be alive in you. Hold your kids tight and dont let go. All the best. Love and light.
      Jenifer

  25. Clara  March 27, 2019 at 1:11 pm Reply

    Grief fills the room up of my absent child,
    Lies in his bed, walks up and down with me,
    Puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words,
    Remembers me of all his gracious parts,
    Stuffs out his vacant garments with his form;

    Shakespeare

    1
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    • Frankie  April 30, 2019 at 4:17 pm Reply

      Kind of off-topic, don’t you think?

      2
  28. J.D. Oldenburg  March 12, 2019 at 5:41 pm Reply

    I read so many comments here about difficulty moving on from a death and it pains my heart. We live life as if death will never come near us, the only sure thing to come in life. and so when it does, we suffer so much, for so long, forgetting that in next to no time we will be gone too.

    I wrote this family book in hopes to ease this painful fear. http://www.horatiointhewind.com

    We are all the wind, I hope this helps.

    J.D.

    1
  29. Iyyanna  February 21, 2019 at 11:43 pm Reply

    I lost husband in July of 2017… we,were only married a year n was shot and killed because of mistaken identity… I haven’t been able to get myself back on track… no it hasn’t gotten better or made any sense I couldn’t go to the funeral I couldn’t even leave the house for almost 2 months… I regret not saying a final goodbye at gus funeral n I’m stuck our kids miss him too but they keep reminding me that I’m still here and they need me…. thank you I needed to vent… ppl r tired of my pain n think I should be OK by now… he was my best friend n the only man I ever fell n love with I still feel like it’s wrong to date wtf uugghhhhhh…. thank you

    1
    • Eve  March 28, 2019 at 11:56 pm Reply

      It’s okay to vent, I hope you continue and find & seek out avenues/people to vent and grow as long as you need to, as long as it takes.

  30. Jerry from Maine  February 21, 2019 at 2:10 pm Reply

    We all know that all life comes to an end. The difference is that between us & the animals, we have a soul that is capable of love. Losing a loved one should not be a devastating experience! The hardest part is that we will miss them, but in time. we WILL see them again for eternity! That fact alone , is enough to carry one through any grief that one could experience. The bond of love will bring us together again!

    • Zina Sattler Jimenez  May 23, 2019 at 10:36 pm Reply

      Animals have souls too and they are also capable of love. Today I lost my mom to cancer and only 6 days ago we first found out she actually had cancer. We were best friends and I was her carer so she has been a major part of my daily life. I am devastated and still in shock by the fact she had stage 4 cancer let alone her death today after only 6 days. I came back to my apartment and the reality set in and completely overwhelmed me. Alone at home along with the eerie silence after having her die in my arms just a few hours earlier became too much to bear and I just broke down and cried harder & longer than I ever remembered doing when suddenly my lovely cat came over to me and started licking my forehead. A few minutes later he came up to my head & curled up around me cuddling up to my face not minding the tears and put his face close to mine and there he stayed until quite a long while later I cried myself to sleep. When I awoke 2 hours later he was lying on my chest with again his face next to mine. If thats not love and if that’s not considered lovable then I don’t know what is. My kitty knew just what to do & how to support me more than the people I encountered today after my mom passed. Thank you & God bless.

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      • Jeremy  December 21, 2019 at 1:14 pm

        Thank you for your post. I lost my best friend. Yes she was a dog. I loved her and I felt her love in return. Thank you for reminding others that animals can be just as loved and loving.

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    • Zina Sattler Jimenez  May 23, 2019 at 10:58 pm Reply

      Animals have souls too just like humans. Today my mom died of cancer. We only found out she had cancer 6 days ago. I am still in shock and overwhelmed and consumed by grief. My mom was my best friend and I was her carer so most days were spent with my mom whether working for her or hanging out with her. I returned home earlier today just a few hours after having her die in my arms & immediately broke down. Its been a long time since I cried that hard and long. In the middle of my grief & tears my cat came up & began licking my forehead. Then he curled up beside my head and put his face next to mine while I continued to cry myself to sleep. When I awoke 2 hours later I found him lying on my chest with his face to mine looking at me and he began purring once he saw me open my eyes to wake up. As I sit at my bedside typing this reply he is still with me & sitting on my lap. My kitty showed me more comfort & support than the people who were around me right after my mom passed. If that is not love and if that is not lovable then I don’t know what is. Thank you & God bless.

  31. Sarah Cooper  January 30, 2019 at 8:34 pm Reply

    My son died almost 4 years ago. I feel gutted and list inthe workd. I am on meds. I pray, walk, I have close friends and a living husband. Nothing touches the pain. I am lost in the world without my son. It seems so empty.
    He was my firstborn child. I felt him move inside me. I nursed him for a year. He is gone. I hate to have people ask me how I am. I will not be OK again. I will not kill myself, but each day I go through is a day without my son and it feels pointless.

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    • Jeanne Resch  February 7, 2019 at 9:54 am Reply

      Sarah, I am so sorry for your loss of your precious son. When my husband died 3 years ago I found a grief group that has helped me more than I could ever say. If you haven’t looked for one of those, please consider trying that. Some places even have specific groups for the loss of a child. I have found that no one can understand your grief like someone else who has been through it. Wishing you comfort and love.

      1
    • Crystal Alba  March 11, 2019 at 8:58 pm Reply

      I just saw this comment. I lost my best friend a few years ago and just lost my cousin this week to suicide. They were not my children. I can not even start to understand your pain. I am a mother and these things just touch me in a different way because of that. You are so strong and it may seem pointless but you are strength for someone…I know it.

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    • Nikki Forrest  August 14, 2020 at 6:55 am Reply

      I lost my first born son when he was 3yts old.
      That was way back now in January 1991. I tried to kill myself a few times. Still fight it now. I went on to have 3 beautiful exceptional girls & even with gifts of having them I would so much Love to be at peace. If I could take a pill to stop the pain would i. I suppose it would mean never to remember loving him. Laughing with him. I hope you don’t think wrong of me. I just dont think I’ became a better person. With my girls came drugs as I couldn’t cope with losing a son & drugs numbed my terror of something happening to another child of mine. So I completely feel for you. I had my son for 3years. It’s living hell. Any longer God only knows. Just please go with your own flow if no one understands they should be thankful they don’t know the pain. You are not alone
      Take Care.

  32. Frank Van Der Stok  January 24, 2019 at 6:08 am Reply

    I lost my dad last year in May. It was such a shock! He was 78 and we didn’t expect that he would die. I realised now that I was so strongly connected to him and he was my source and center. I feel lost now and without energy. Before I was able to live and work and survive but now I feel alone without strength. I realise that I got so much from him even the will to live and a purpose. Never understood his value until he was gone. He was a great man. He was a preacher, writer, sportsman, finance advisor and so much more. He looked well after us 4 children. Now I have 4 children of my own. Now I must face life without his support and strength. It is difficult without him and I still grieve especially these days coming into the new year. At times I feel like joining him and find no reason to go on. But I am still here and holding on. Thanks for your words of comfort.

    • Mj  January 30, 2019 at 6:49 am Reply

      Sorry for your loss of your father. My Mother just past on Friday & I find myself not wanting to be here either!! Our Relationship was rocking the last year. But I am Thankful I got to talk to her one last time b4 she died!! I feel num & still in shock!!
      Praying I can find a Grieving Counselor soon, to tell with all these emotions!!! 2 Of My Sisters Now are fighting over Life Insurance Policy and her belonging!! Jesus Help Me!!!!!

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      • Priscella Valles  May 26, 2019 at 6:03 am

        Hi I’m just now reading these sad but beautiful letters to who knows .. my heart is broken into pieces last year in Jan my middle child tried her hardest to commit suicide at 14 yrs old . She laid in a coma for 4 days but thank the lord I still have her and she is doing fine now but two weeks to the day she went into her coma my father my hero went into his own coma and died a few days later. . The four days my daughter slept my daddy sat with me all night each night I was at the hospital. Strange to feel gratefull for those nights but I do that’s what I got out of my daughters attempt.. I have been in a dark place since this all happened then 6 months later my niece also she was my best friend my sister and daughter all in one at 30 years old with a set of twins in her belly fell out and died out of nowhere its like how can this all happen in one year 6 months to be exact.. a year later I’m now diagnosed with congestive heart failure due to clogged arteries. But my heart is so torn apart I feel like its giving up .. but I have 5 children whom depend on me yet I feel so worthless for them like I’m bringing them all down because I cant stay strong for them .. lord help me I’m dying with all this heart ache.. thank you all for sharing for this is the first time I am sharing my thoughts,feelings.. i need healing fast before i leave my babies worse than i am

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  33. Louise snippert  January 8, 2019 at 10:04 am Reply

    I think it’s a shame to leave a dying mother at 90 years old to a brother who has a knee that was just prepared 8 months ago or a injured back from lifing his mother up none of the other family members would not let her go into nursing home shame on them all may God have mercy on them for neglected there brother. He did a wonderful job taken care of his mother and mentally challenged sister . With all his injuries and knee not healed because of no family member cared to help.

    • Ree  January 9, 2019 at 2:53 pm Reply

      Sounds familiar. Been there, done that with my grandfather. The stress was off the charts.

    • Jodi  January 19, 2019 at 12:34 pm Reply

      Those people will have to live w the fact that they stood aside or stood in the way… the injured and loving son gets to live knowing he gave his all. Knowing you gave your best is a blessing beyond comparison. The son is a blessing and blessed.

  34. Nhlanhla  January 7, 2019 at 12:05 pm Reply

    i lost my mother 17 years and 11 months ago when i was about to turn 3 ….growing up without her has been the most hardest part of my life …it makes me sad because i cant even remember how she looked like and also the fact that she never got the chance to teach me about teenage life and i also never got to know how her teenage life was like .Now as im growing up to become a woman it hurts more than what i felt when i was growing up because she will never get the chance to see her grandchildren . The pain is just too much to handle to the extent that i wish i could have been the one in her place .She might have passed away along time ago but my heart will never heal from that because everyday feels like her death happened a few hours ago.I will always love my mother .

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  35. priscilla  December 17, 2018 at 10:10 pm Reply

    Thank you so much for this page its makes our burdens lighter. I lost my mum last month and i’m thankful I was by her side until the end. But it’s the memories that we will cherish.

    • Zina Sattler Jimenez  May 23, 2019 at 11:32 pm Reply

      I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my mom it was earlier today and I am in shock and consumed by grief. Now the world looks sad & lonely & my future seems bleak without her. She died in my arms this morning just 6 days after we first were told by the doctor she had stage 4 cancer. All i feel like doing is dying too so I can join her. It is almost night now and my feelings are the same. I just want to die & be with my mom & other loved ones. Just the thought of having to face another day and try to continue to work so I can have a roof over my head fills me with fear and dread. I feel I can’t bear it. At present I am out of wet cat food for my 2 kitties and the thought of just a simple short walk to the grocery store also fills me with dread. My cats have their dry food but they are used to their dinner of wet food (I love my cats & treat them very well you see) still I can’t seem to get the strength to get dressed and got to the store. I must sound so silly but it is the truth. I have no desire to live another day let alone go to the store. My son graduates from community college tomorrow and I will need to force myself to get it together and hide my despair and find the strength to put on a brave face so I can make it thru the ceremony. I love my son and am very proud of him the thing is today I lost my mom & tomortow my son graduates from college how the heck does a person jump from one end of the spectrum to the other in less than 24 hours? After graduation I have to make my appt with the crematorium to sort out my mom’s cremation. The day after that I must go to my mom’s apartment to start making arrangements of packing up her things and bringing her pet fish home with me and i have 2 cats at my place that need to be kept from the fish tank. My mom has a big dark colored fish that is over 20 years old and she loved her pet fish so it is important to me that I take very good care of her dear pet in her place. Life truly is stranger than fiction. My husband was killed by a stranger just 4 years ago so suicide for me is not an option as that would further traumatize my son so my only way out of this life is by God’s hands which is the hands if fate. I truly worry I will have a mental breakdown if all that I am feeling does not get better. Sorry for the long rant as I initially wanted to just say how much I relate to what you typed about how you are feeling.

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      • Jan  October 15, 2019 at 1:07 am

        Hi Zina. Lost my mom too. Cancer.
        It’ll be her 1st Death Anniversary next month (20Nov). I thought that as the months go by, things would be better, I was wrong, still thinking about her everyday. ?

  36. Hannah  December 9, 2018 at 6:44 pm Reply

    These are fucking terrible. Be aware of the highly sensitive people grieving. Assholes.

    • Jerry  February 21, 2019 at 1:56 pm Reply

      No need to show your stupidity…. there is nothing wrong with people who empathize. My Dad died at 69…and no one had any more grief than I did. I am still here & he is still with me. Just let people express their empathy….soon enough, even they, will be gone!

  37. Eva  December 4, 2018 at 11:47 am Reply

    Thanks so much for the time spent putting these messages together. God Bless

  38. PJ  November 13, 2018 at 9:56 pm Reply

    Thank you for these quotes and the comments from others who are going through grief. I lost my Husband on Feb. 14 suddenly to a heart attack, he was 64. We were in an airport in Mexico ready to board our plane home when he said he felt dizzy and was going to faint. Those are the last words he spoke to me …he passed away in the emergency room . So unexpected, so devastating, so far from family. It has been almost 9 months and now I can finally say his name without crying, but there is a part of me that is gone and will never be the same. I am moving through what is left of my life trying to find purpose and hoping to once again feel joy. I am lonely , I miss having him by my side, enjoying our life together. We had so many plans, places we were going to see, looking forward to having time together just the 2 of us…but now I must move forward alone.

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    • Julie  January 14, 2019 at 12:48 pm Reply

      PJ,
      I lost my husband 6 and half years ago on July 16, 2012 in the same manner. Fortunately, I was not out of the country but in ND, I am originally from Florida, we were moving to his home state. I still cry and grieve for him. He was everything to me, my life, my dreams…life is definitely not the same. But hold on love, there are good times to be had, I have my children and grandchildren and they help so much. I think it is amazing that the baby, now 7 remembers his papaw and often tells me that he misses him. He was only two at the time his papaw passed away. Sometimes we just sit for a moment in the rocking chair and hug and remember a man that meant so much to so many. I will not tell you that the grief ever completely goes away, but I will tell you that after awhile you begin to see the good in things again and life goes on, and eventually you find happiness and special moments again. I keep my husband near me, in my heart at all times and I know that as long as I remember him, he is with me. One day we will be together again and I know that he is waiting for me, his last words to me were I love you see you tonight, tonight never came he died while at work from a heart attack, but I know that he loved me and he knew that I loved him, take comfort in knowing that your hopes and dreams are still with him and that he will forever be in your heart. Best to you, I pray for peace and blessings for you. May God comfort you.

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  39. DM REYN0  November 9, 2018 at 3:28 pm Reply

    i love the messages…i have never felt anything more painful than grief. It breaks your heart and soul. Leaving you questioning everything that is on earth. Questioning even the life you have. It is really painful cause it breaks you from within.

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  40. Joe Lawrence Maniha  October 19, 2018 at 5:46 pm Reply

    Dunno what hit me or “triggered” my subconscious to actually type in this lo-o-ng search words/line on google: “quotes of feelings on losing someone special”…blah!!..then comes up a search list of related sites & what have yous..etc etc. I clicked on the 1st link & i’m here on wyg…such inspiring, sad, sharing-all, sharing-something stories…comforting reflections. Humanity & how we bond in such compelling overtures in our live’s passing phases (joy, laughter, tears, pain, anger, love, Life & death) – it’s such an underrated, unexplained testimony to how Truly majestic Our Heavenly Father, God Almighty the Creator has masterfully interlaced us all thru such Soulful reflections. Yes, they are all passing phases ~ losing Loved ones & dear ones, yet as hard it may dawn upon me on some dismal days, I take comfort in knowing that the feelings, & moments I go thru in seeing the joy of brothers & sisters in loving embraces, fun-spirited outings, family gatherings, I shall never have with my kid-sister who moved on 3yrs back. She was battling a silent fight (cervical cancer) but never once showed her torn spirit nor sought help (by way of open discussion, admission & seeking refuge, cultural, respect..) either thru me, or the other siblings. I silently & regretfully know now, that they (sisters & mum) must have kept it amongst themselves…leaving us boys out of the picture. And being the eldest & big brother in a broken & torn family of 7 raised by different uncles & aunts (as mum was a widow), it pains me to know that the Truth will never really ever set me free. So i guess, I’ll be writing just this once on this beautiful commentary site of wyg, but for what ever relief I find, I Hope & Pray that all you hurting, grieving, beautiful Souls out there, embrace grief. Hold it close, Hold it Dear. Smile at a newly budding rose..its a spiritual thing ~ for there is bound to be something they touched, a silly remark/expression they say about your nose, ear, smile, eyes..something unusually unique & theirs alone, that they left behind that makes you put on a silent smile, every once in a awhile. I write just this once, in letting my dear beloved small sister’s spirit know that, I still miss you very much Mummy Pao’..My Princess..My Queen, Paula Gene Arina’so. She always called me “Prince”…”My King”…”Daddy”…never my name, never.

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  41. Jodi  September 9, 2018 at 4:48 pm Reply

    My mom died May 6th of this year. We never had a good relationship, but we had so many problems. My mom never hugged me, never said hello, never liked me as her own. I was never a bad girl, just longed for the love from her. I didn’t like her as a person, she was angry, mean, and at times abusing. But I still longed for a hug. I never got it. Not even at Thanksgiving or Christmas. I never got a Happy Birthday from her The past 5 years. She never wanted us 3 girls, never wanted a relationship with us. Her death has left such a big hole in my heart. I’m angry that she’s gone, . I hate waking up to a new day, when I haven’t been able to get thru the others. All of us siblings are fighting, not speaking, it’s such a mess. It’s so Hard getting thru without being able to Make amends! We never did. Her last phone message to me was horrible, and unbelievable. 1 week before she passed.

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    • Kandi Valdez Turner  November 27, 2018 at 5:45 pm Reply

      I just read your comment about your mother. I swear to God I thought you were talking about me and my two sisters. We lived the life you are speaking of and sadly we do not speak to each other at all. I think that’s what my mom wanted. It is so sad to think a life passed and so much hurt and regret and endless questions still exist. My sisters name is Jodi. I really think this is about us. God bless you

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  42. Charmaine Day  August 31, 2018 at 1:09 am Reply

    I lost my husband on 6/9/18 to prostate cancer. He was only 56. He fought so hard for 2 years, he loved his life, our cats and he loved me. I’ve lost both my parents and most of my family but this is the absolute worst. The grief is unbearable, our house doesn’t feel like a home anymore. and my life will never be the same. I would give anything to see him walk through that door again. I miss him terribly.

    • Michelle Scharf  November 8, 2018 at 7:46 pm Reply

      My husband was 54. Survived 22 months, it was ahead will and lots of work but he lost his life July 17, 2018.

      I feel the same. It’s not a home it’s an empty house and my life is forever changed.

    • Rosie Perez  March 1, 2019 at 6:36 am Reply

      I lost my husband on February 12, 2019 to pancreatic and liver cancer. He was 58. He was diagnosed and died 35 days later. I didn’t even get a chance to process it becuase he died very fast. I’m still going through denial and my life will never be the same with out him. We were married for 10 years and I miss him more and more everyday. Our home is not the same without him. I sit in the livingroom and expect him to just walk and say ” honey I’m home” and my heart hurts when I realize that he will not be walking through the door. I will always love him and will keep the memories close to my heart.

      • Brenda frye  March 10, 2019 at 7:49 pm

        I to lost my husband Feb 17,2019 to the same thing also he had bone and spine cancer,he went into the hospital not being able to breath come to find out he had a staff infection that eat thru the lung was poised and eat holes that led to phenomena, so that is what made me lose him,thankfully he lived a year an 4 month,after his first ripple surgery,I to miss him so bad these wall fill like they gave him ,he was with me a year from work couldn’t work so took care of him,night and day till the 17 of Feb 2019 it fell like my soul being ripped out today we was married be 22 yrs in June but been together for 26 years .I hope this pain get easier but right now I feel if I lost a part of my heart,I love you randy.

  43. Patricia L Getz  August 1, 2018 at 7:53 pm Reply

    One of my best friends died Monday night (July 31, 2018). We had been in a relationship for 15 years, but had not seen or talked to each other for almost a year, because of a falling out. I have to tell you that I have never experienced the type of absolute overwhelming grief like I did yesterday when I found out that he had died. He was not only my best friend for the last decade & a half, but the ONLY friend I had, pretty much, in the town I live in. When we would have a disagreement….even the last one, I at least knew that he was still here & still in this world. Now he isn’t here, anymore & he isn’t in this world. This is going to be one of the hardest things in my life to come to terms with.

    1
  44. Mpose  July 28, 2018 at 9:13 am Reply

    I am 42 lost my husband in a tragic accidentwhen I was 29…my daughter was 9months.I look and her and I crack all over again.I feel she was robbed of a loving father, of growing up in a nirmal happy family. I had to be brave and find a job so that we cld survive .this meant her going to boarding schools.some days are hard , like now .it sll comes back the hopelessness lonelyness and emptiness but one has to survive physically .my soul is no longer here.some days I ask who chose this path for me..
    Nothing makes me happyanymore.

  45. charlotte mari  July 20, 2018 at 1:27 pm Reply

    My son was murdered one month ago today. He was an attorney and was murdered by the ex-husband of a client that he represented in a divorce. It was senseless, almost random. The killer then committed suicide and left his own two small children without a father. My son was married but did not have children. He was a good man, a good husband to his wife, a good son to his mother and a good brother to his younger brother. I am proud of the man he had become. At his funeral, all the other attorneys and judges said what a kind, gentle man he was. So why was he killed? I just can’t reconcile this in my mind. I keep thinking that it was all a mistake or a nightmare and that he is alive and well. Then I realize that I am just thinking crazy and I fall apart all over again. I am so sad that I don’t know how I will ever be happy again…..

    2
  46. Sidonie Cromb  July 11, 2018 at 8:47 am Reply

    Oh my dear Jillian, I’m so very very sorry for your family’s loss, its the absolute worst and I know, coz I lost the man I’ve called Dad since I was 8 years old, on the 29th of January this year(some 40years ago!). Like you, it was sudden and unexpected, however our family will never receive any closure because it wasn’t illness or accident, it was a determined and personal decision which has thrown our lives into chaos and disarray. I’m reaching out because we have something in common, which is wanting a better future for ourselves. A long and horrible story cut very short, I had to come back home to my Mum & Dad with my 3 beautiful children and they helped me get through the second worst event of my life. Now I’m mourning the loss of my Dad whilst trying to study fulltime and raise my 3 kids on my own. Should you study? Will it make you happy? Take 10 mins, quiet your mind and listen to your own body answer these questions. If it’s yes, then just go for it. Yep, its tough, but I’ve found it makes me more determined to succeed and the bonus is the distraction which gives me a little bit of relief from the absolute grief in my heart every day. One day the sun will shine again, but i’ll be busy until then…. I wish you all the best.

  47. Jillian  July 6, 2018 at 1:13 am Reply

    Reading the quotes passes a little time that I find myself just trying to “get thru”. I’m married and have 2 kids. My mother-in-law died tragically 4 months ago and everyday seems to get worse. She had been going to the hospital to see and take care of her mom so much – who had just had a heart attack and then a blockage. She went home to shower . I will always remember her last text to me that day while I was in class. I said I was leaving school soon and we would see her at the hospital. I called and texted as I was leaving…nothing…. nothing. A fire started in her home while she was in the shower and had no idea. I have nightmares of her trying to make it out like she did. The firefighters found her right inside the front door when they broke in the door. How scared she must have been. Why would this happen to her? She deserved the world. She was revived 5 times from her home and to the time she died in the hospital 5 hours later. Her mother (grandma) must have known something was wrong when my M-I-L didn’t come back to the hospital… She died 12 hours after my M-I-L.
    My M-I-L and I were very close. So close. She was the person who could say the littlest thing to make me feel better about whatever redic thing it could have been. I’ve known my husband since I was just 11 years old and I am 34 now. She has been in my life- was in my life – my whole life, basically. My husband isn’t dealing with it well at all – he’s not one for “talking” about it – it just makes him upset. I feel so lost as she was who I could talk to about my husband . We have been thru a lot. He was injured while in the military and she really helped us deal and get thru the days. He’s NOT close with his father – doesn’t speak to- nada. His mom was who he felt he had left. It’s very hard to try and grieve in front of him. I go and hide to cry. My poor kids are “bored” because their momma doesn’t feel like doing anything and that kills me. The first couple months- I did anything to keep busy and I handled all of her final arrangements. I wanted to do it. I was the “strong” one. Now, I’m just lost. When my husbands injury/disability started- I put nursing school on hold to have children because I wanted to have that experience with him. Now that they are in school all day- I started from scratch and went back to school to get my pre-reqs. My mother-in-law was my biggest fan, biggest supporter of this. She knew what it felt like to want that and not be able to. I’m one class away from applying and I’m just stuck. How can I do all of that and try to get thru each day without her. I just want to see her walk in the front door and hear her call my name – or leave messages saying ” well hello my dear”. I literally don’t think this intense pain will ever subside – even just a little bit….. I’m terrified of what this will end up doing to my husband. to me- to our kids. ……

    1
  48. Ally  July 3, 2018 at 5:08 am Reply

    Lost my soul mate to a sudden death age 35 – miss him beyond words I wouldn’t wish this type of pain on anyone I feel broken in two. I’m functioning but feel that life will only ever be about that, the light truly went out the day he died. We have no cause of death as yet likely sudden cardiac but the knowledge of being with him that whole day & then him dying when I went to work on his own haunts me. HIs death was also likely preventable and that hurts, I haven’t reached acceptance yet I’m still stuck holding on to what was and can’t ever be again.

  49. K. Jay  June 27, 2018 at 10:20 pm Reply

    I miss my mom so much I’m talking to strangers on the internet about it. I can’t believe she’s gone. I don’t know how to keep going. Thank you for sharing.

    3
  50. Pat Brennan  June 17, 2018 at 11:31 am Reply

    I lost my husband November 2017 we were together 52 years it’s good to know the sorrow I feel is normal like everybody I just wish I’d told him how much l loved him more times than I did ,now it’s to later but l have the memories and nothing can take them away .love you loads until we are
    together again.

    1
  51. Cheryl  June 17, 2018 at 1:55 am Reply

    Missing my husband. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on 3/1/18 and passed away 6/7/18. It happened so fast, that I couldn’t prepare for it. Now I am lost and lonely. It feels like I will never know happiness again.

  52. Kennyposh  June 10, 2018 at 5:30 am Reply

    Lost my husband a month ago…can’t sleep at night …the grief is consuming me ..My son (7)Just keep asking questions and sometimes feeling down ..I don’t even know how to begin and start all over again …the pain is consuming.

  53. Rozelle M Watson  June 9, 2018 at 12:49 pm Reply

    I have a hole in my soul over the loss of my mom, but I want her memory to be actively moving me toward filling holes that I can fill.

  54. Anju Chawla  May 10, 2018 at 10:54 am Reply

    Five years back my best friend (my soulmate for 25 years) her thirty two year old son was killed crossing a road. My children and her children were always together. My children will never fully recover from this loss.

    He was my friend’s son, but I had been a big part of his life from such a young age. I had never known sadness like this.

    What really has helped my friend and me to cope with his tragic death is that she has reached out to so many other children in need.
    “THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO IN THIS WORLD AND SO MUCH TO LOOSE IF IT IS NOT DONE”. By helping children of fathers who have committed suicide, we have found a purpose to lift them up by sponsoring for their education. It is as if saying “SO WHAT IF MY SON IS GONE, FOR IN HIS MEMORY HUNDREDS WILL LIVE ON”.

    When she and I receive pictures of these children, we see Paul (son who died) looking back at us and saying “Thank You Moms”.

    Will be glad to share more info.

    1
  55. Anju Chawla  May 10, 2018 at 10:54 am Reply

    Five years back my best friend (my soulmate for 25 years) her thirty two year old son was killed crossing a road. My children and her children were always together. My children will never fully recover from this loss.

    He was my friend’s son, but I had been a big part of his life from such a young age. I had never known sadness like this.

    What really has helped my friend and me to cope with his tragic death is that she has reached out to so many other children in need.
    “THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO IN THIS WORLD AND SO MUCH TO LOOSE IF IT IS NOT DONE”. By helping children of fathers who have committed suicide, we have found a purpose to lift them up by sponsoring for their education. It is as if saying “SO WHAT IF MY SON IS GONE, FOR IN HIS MEMORY HUNDREDS WILL LIVE ON”.

    When she and I receive pictures of these children, we see Paul (son who died) looking back at us and saying “Thank You Moms”.

    Will be glad to share more info.

  56. Kim Singleton  May 8, 2018 at 7:22 pm Reply

    Tears are falling from reading everyone’s quote, I lost my son in law 4 years ago to suicide, stabbing himself over 100 times, he left behind my 2 granddaughters age 5 and 9.. they still mourn , the youngest granddaughter apologizes to her mom over and over again.. and as for my daughter she lost her first boyfriend to a homicide and then her husband to suicide.. the pain I feel with standing behind my daughter and granddaughters, I still cry, it seems as if it will never ever get easier..

  57. Kim Singleton  May 8, 2018 at 7:22 pm Reply

    Tears are falling from reading everyone’s quote, I lost my son in law 4 years ago to suicide, stabbing himself over 100 times, he left behind my 2 granddaughters age 5 and 9.. they still mourn , the youngest granddaughter apologizes to her mom over and over again.. and as for my daughter she lost her first boyfriend to a homicide and then her husband to suicide.. the pain I feel with standing behind my daughter and granddaughters, I still cry, it seems as if it will never ever get easier..

  58. Rose Marie VanDee  April 11, 2018 at 11:58 pm Reply

    I am a hospice nurse caring for people at the end of their life cycle giving support , caring. You would think I would be better equipped with coping, but not so. When I l unexpectedly ost my twin brother 2/19/2017 my world has fallen gravity has multiplied .

  59. Rose Marie VanDee  April 11, 2018 at 11:58 pm Reply

    I am a hospice nurse caring for people at the end of their life cycle giving support , caring. You would think I would be better equipped with coping, but not so. When I l unexpectedly ost my twin brother 2/19/2017 my world has fallen gravity has multiplied .

  60. Lerato  March 27, 2018 at 6:23 am Reply

    I lost my Husband two days before my birthday on the 08/06/2017, it happened so suddenly I miss Him like grazy and know will ever replace Him. the good memories are keeping me alive and strong. I am living for Him and my God. God will never leave me nor forsake me. It is well with my soul.

  61. Lerato  March 27, 2018 at 6:23 am Reply

    I lost my Husband two days before my birthday on the 08/06/2017, it happened so suddenly I miss Him like grazy and know will ever replace Him. the good memories are keeping me alive and strong. I am living for Him and my God. God will never leave me nor forsake me. It is well with my soul.

  62. Human Humani  December 31, 2017 at 3:02 pm Reply

    Whenever your dear is in the serious level of cancer or hearth attack and doctors has dishoped her this maybe ignite a little hop in you search and read about cryonics plz for your dear put this massage in anywhere helpful or if you wanna comprise with die watch the wonder of the universe documentary serials

  63. Human Humani  December 31, 2017 at 3:02 pm Reply

    Whenever your dear is in the serious level of cancer or hearth attack and doctors has dishoped her this maybe ignite a little hop in you search and read about cryonics plz for your dear put this massage in anywhere helpful or if you wanna comprise with die watch the wonder of the universe documentary serials

  64. Mary Ritchie  December 12, 2017 at 12:01 pm Reply

    I nursed my husband for ten years with vascular dementia .we don’t the journey together .he was wheelchair bound after a stroke 18 months ago he went to day centre where he was interacting ,he allways had a smile .i used to have rest bite and the nursing home took great care of him family went to see him .but in September we had to put him in a new nursig home because they other one had no beds .they did not look after him when I went to see him he was I’ll told them to get dr .he was given eight to ten hours he was crittacly ill he had a fall which they denied he was so dehydrated his kidney damage was I reversable .social service safe guarding team are investegating accute negligence .my husband lasted a week I was with him all day and night he knew I was there but anger is turning me up al the time we have a soloist or but it will not give him back to me how can I get over this heartbroken wife Mary

  65. Mary Ritchie  December 12, 2017 at 12:01 pm Reply

    I nursed my husband for ten years with vascular dementia .we don’t the journey together .he was wheelchair bound after a stroke 18 months ago he went to day centre where he was interacting ,he allways had a smile .i used to have rest bite and the nursing home took great care of him family went to see him .but in September we had to put him in a new nursig home because they other one had no beds .they did not look after him when I went to see him he was I’ll told them to get dr .he was given eight to ten hours he was crittacly ill he had a fall which they denied he was so dehydrated his kidney damage was I reversable .social service safe guarding team are investegating accute negligence .my husband lasted a week I was with him all day and night he knew I was there but anger is turning me up al the time we have a soloist or but it will not give him back to me how can I get over this heartbroken wife Mary

    • lindsey  December 20, 2017 at 12:19 am Reply

      Mary, I can’t begin to understand what you are going through. I am so sorry. I don’t know you but my thoughts are with you, and I wish for you that you can hold on to some sense of hope. Sending love

  66. Jody Lewonas  November 26, 2017 at 11:46 am Reply

    Bless all our lost loves and us-I try to remember they don’t miss us-they don’t know why we are sad, all they know now is happiness and peace-they are with all our others we lost. I know I will be with my lost loves one day and if they actually do see me grieving why can’t I feel them? I have PTSD from the loss of the love of my life 20 years ago- we were so young-I blame myself for not going with him that day. He was a great fisherman, he was very well known in Pinellas County Fl, Bahamas, Dry Tortugus and private islands owned by the rich and famous. I was by his side as much as I could handle it but it was a Sunday (we had been in car n boat accidents and was always blessed) he was going with the owner and an eye doctor plus they had nitrox. I loved the family he worked for , they treated me like family. If I wasn’t on the boat I was with the owners wife. That is where I was waiting for them to come back from a dive trip. Bad feelings started coming (which happened to be the approx time my husband was left down on the 3rd dive in the middle grounds-just cuz they wanted him to get a large hogfin – duh the owner of the boat and the doc did the 3rd deep dive with nitrox- needless to say my husband blew a cerebral and pulmonary embolism. He beat them to the top.)
    So many holes in the story-it wouldn’t have happened had I been there. I was told I was still part of the family. I really needed them for closure. Instead they spent 3 mill on a guest house and begged me to take a couple hundred thousand for his life. I donated most of it to two HIV friends as I didn’t know I would be on disability not long after his death. I was a kid-stuck in a private room alone with the owner crying his eyes out being told I would still be part of the family and they would help me when I needed.
    Then I made it a year and met someone that reminded me of my love-I met him at a psychiatrists office. We both thought we were not patients. I got married (lost what widows benefits I had-and now have a permanent injunction that he is not allowed near me, obviously still not in my right mind)
    I was diagnosed with a muscle disease and was told I would be lucky to make it to 40. Next the temporary marriage created a wonderful sis in law of 12 years and she helped me so much mentally. I will always love her and never thought I would lose her too. We were both experiencing the same medical problems and both diagnosed with cancer within 2 days of each other. I begged her not to get treatment (13 years of nurse-I see strong positive minds make it longer and more comfortable) Being very religious and having a spouse and 3 children- they scared her they told her she would only make it 3 months without 5 with. Lots of prayers-she made it one year and the worst year I have ever seen anyone go through chemo. At one point they said things had stopped growing so instead of waiting- they tell her its best to go on very strong caustic chemo to make sure it stays gone.
    I felt her pain one day in April-she didn’t want visitors anymore -2 hours away nobody is stopping me. I did get to see her one last time, unlike my husband. She looked so peaceful as she must have known it was finally going to be done. I touched her beautiful face-to my surprise-she opened her eyes and smiled like I remember seeing her. It was almost like she was waiting to see her bro and I-shortly after we left-she refused meds-food and hospice came and took her where it isn’t so traumatic with the whole family looking and crying. She was taken to a better place at 10 pm that night.
    I do think that happening and my illness (making me a hermit_in extreme pain-due to drug addicts causing my once amount of mednow cut in half which equals poor quality of life. I was on high dose over 7 years-I could function and put things out of my mind)
    Hoping I don’t suffer too much but truly looking forward to not missing anyone or having any pain-mental or physical. God bless u all. Time doesn’t heal only the end heals.

  67. Jody Lewonas  November 26, 2017 at 11:46 am Reply

    Bless all our lost loves and us-I try to remember they don’t miss us-they don’t know why we are sad, all they know now is happiness and peace-they are with all our others we lost. I know I will be with my lost loves one day and if they actually do see me grieving why can’t I feel them? I have PTSD from the loss of the love of my life 20 years ago- we were so young-I blame myself for not going with him that day. He was a great fisherman, he was very well known in Pinellas County Fl, Bahamas, Dry Tortugus and private islands owned by the rich and famous. I was by his side as much as I could handle it but it was a Sunday (we had been in car n boat accidents and was always blessed) he was going with the owner and an eye doctor plus they had nitrox. I loved the family he worked for , they treated me like family. If I wasn’t on the boat I was with the owners wife. That is where I was waiting for them to come back from a dive trip. Bad feelings started coming (which happened to be the approx time my husband was left down on the 3rd dive in the middle grounds-just cuz they wanted him to get a large hogfin – duh the owner of the boat and the doc did the 3rd deep dive with nitrox- needless to say my husband blew a cerebral and pulmonary embolism. He beat them to the top.)
    So many holes in the story-it wouldn’t have happened had I been there. I was told I was still part of the family. I really needed them for closure. Instead they spent 3 mill on a guest house and begged me to take a couple hundred thousand for his life. I donated most of it to two HIV friends as I didn’t know I would be on disability not long after his death. I was a kid-stuck in a private room alone with the owner crying his eyes out being told I would still be part of the family and they would help me when I needed.
    Then I made it a year and met someone that reminded me of my love-I met him at a psychiatrists office. We both thought we were not patients. I got married (lost what widows benefits I had-and now have a permanent injunction that he is not allowed near me, obviously still not in my right mind)
    I was diagnosed with a muscle disease and was told I would be lucky to make it to 40. Next the temporary marriage created a wonderful sis in law of 12 years and she helped me so much mentally. I will always love her and never thought I would lose her too. We were both experiencing the same medical problems and both diagnosed with cancer within 2 days of each other. I begged her not to get treatment (13 years of nurse-I see strong positive minds make it longer and more comfortable) Being very religious and having a spouse and 3 children- they scared her they told her she would only make it 3 months without 5 with. Lots of prayers-she made it one year and the worst year I have ever seen anyone go through chemo. At one point they said things had stopped growing so instead of waiting- they tell her its best to go on very strong caustic chemo to make sure it stays gone.
    I felt her pain one day in April-she didn’t want visitors anymore -2 hours away nobody is stopping me. I did get to see her one last time, unlike my husband. She looked so peaceful as she must have known it was finally going to be done. I touched her beautiful face-to my surprise-she opened her eyes and smiled like I remember seeing her. It was almost like she was waiting to see her bro and I-shortly after we left-she refused meds-food and hospice came and took her where it isn’t so traumatic with the whole family looking and crying. She was taken to a better place at 10 pm that night.
    I do think that happening and my illness (making me a hermit_in extreme pain-due to drug addicts causing my once amount of med\now cut in half which equals poor quality of life. I was on high dose over 7 years-I could function and put things out of my mind)
    Hoping I don’t suffer too much but truly looking forward to not missing anyone or having any pain-mental or physical. God bless u all. Time doesn’t heal only the end heals.

    • Amy  January 4, 2018 at 7:01 pm Reply

      O Jody I read your life story and it absolutely broke my heart. My prayers are with you. May the Lord fill u with his peace and may u find comfort in his rest

  68. J brillhart  October 28, 2017 at 5:22 pm Reply

    I lost my big brother 5 Oct 2017. I am forever changed. Each day I live is one day closer to him. I haven’t been happy sense. The worst are the dreams that his alive. They’re so painful.

  69. J brillhart  October 28, 2017 at 5:22 pm Reply

    I lost my big brother 5 Oct 2017. I am forever changed. Each day I live is one day closer to him. I haven’t been happy sense. The worst are the dreams that his alive. They’re so painful.

  70. Kathleen  September 5, 2017 at 2:24 am Reply

    My favorite “Where there is love there is life”. Ghandi

    • Holly  September 5, 2017 at 12:10 pm Reply

      This is one of my favorite. “It’s a divine gift to find the light inside while in the midst of despair.”
      Unknown author

  71. Diana Combs  August 24, 2017 at 10:13 am Reply

    Craig Stephen Gilders The Love Of My Life One Day We Will Be Together Again

  72. GRISWOLD LISA  July 27, 2017 at 6:28 am Reply

    I have just lost the love of my life five days ago… He was on his way home from work when a drunk driver hit him head on causing the airbag to deploy and than setting the car on fire. He was only 38. He was burned over97% of his body. I am so lost and want to be where he is. I cry all day and the quietness of the house is unbearable. I miss everything about him. His smell, his smile, his voice,his touch….I feel sick to my stomach and sometimes I just don’t want to be here. I miss him holding me tight which always led to our love making more memories. The day he died is the day my heart was ripped out of my chest. RIP STEVEN EDWARD SHIELDS JR.
    04/12/79 – 07/21/2017
    YOU WILL FOREVER BE MISSED AND NEVER FORGOTTEN

    • Geneviève  July 27, 2017 at 11:40 am Reply

      Lisa, you are not alone. I lost my husband in a mountain accident 3 years ago. It’s been horrible and I still miss him every day. The best piece of advice I got was to catch any tiny ray of light but probably for you it’s too early to see them. They will come back. Second piece of advice is to take great care of you, get counseling, whatever it helps for you to cry and let the pain and feelings out. I’m deeply sorry for you, can only relate and let you know you are not alone and life goes on but this is too early for you. The WYG website and resources helped me a lot, especially the podcasts. I’m sending you a lot of love and courage all the way from Switzerland.
      Geneviève

    • Laraine  September 14, 2017 at 2:05 am Reply

      Hello Lisa,
      I am so sorry for your loss and my heart truly breaks for you. I lost my husband if 36 years on 7/22/17. He was sick for a 6 years with horrid multiple myeloma but had been ok until just recently. I had to take him to the ER with what I thought was pneumonia and he never left. I am so alone in my house that is no longer a Home and I cry all day. I honestly don’t know how to function. I am sending you a hug and wish I could do more to take away the pain. Nights and mornings are unbearable. Right now I’m just passing the hours listening to the crickets outside my window and waiting to get so tired I just pass out. Take care of yourself ❤️

    • Lauren  September 20, 2017 at 3:01 pm Reply

      Lisa I know the feeling your going through
      I lost my fiancé Dec 21, 2016 and I still feel lost and heartbroken ? I miss him so much…. everyday I wake up and think of him ?? Your definitely in my prayers

  73. Kay  July 5, 2017 at 3:08 pm Reply

    My wonderful twin brother passed away 9 months ago having lost his life to alcoholism . The overwhelming sense of grief is surpassed by the intense sadness I feel about his unhappy life . I go through my day functioning and seemingly coping but it’s like I’m weeping inside all the time , I want to go back in time and help him towards happiness I know it’s impossible but it’s all I think about .
    Kay

    • Holly Ulrey Bell  July 5, 2017 at 4:14 pm Reply

      I’m so sorry for your loss Kay. I lost a good friend to alcoholism a year and a half ago, since that day I have seen his family come undone. This family use to be very close, but I am afraid they will never be the same. I am a volunteer at a bereavement center where I help facilitators with group therapy. I have sat with so many who were grieving over their loss, but I’ve also seen them learning how to cope by sharing with others who are going through the same type of grief. My friends family have refused to get any kind of therapy but I truly believe they would benefit from reaching out.
      If you have never tried group therapy I strongly suggest that you give it a try. The hardest part is walking through those doors and talk to strangers about the most devastating thing you have ever faced, but once you do and you find the right group the world won’t seem so heavy because the first thing you will learn is that you no longer have to go through this alone.
      You have a long road ahead of you but try to remember your not alone. Good luck on your journey Kay.

    • H  July 21, 2017 at 9:18 am Reply

      I feel your pain. I lost my brother to alcoholism a year ago. Its a hard one to cope with but things will ease, be gentle on yourself and realise that these things take time. I am sending you a big hug as I know what you are going through xx

    • Sheila  September 13, 2017 at 5:50 pm Reply

      I lost my husband just 2 weeks ago. He died suddenly.I found him at the bottom of the stairs. Sadly,he was an alcoholic.

  74. Fortune  June 22, 2017 at 9:25 pm Reply

    I have a book now in making which requires me to sample ideas of scholars like you. Please could you help me with practical life experience about the tragic errors which have made you to abandon your faith for a while and their possible solutions. Every idea made will be documented for rebuilding our spiritual lives

    Thank you for your efforts in anticipation.

  75. peter.hobden  June 16, 2017 at 2:02 pm Reply

    Your absence is painted on my daily landscapes

  76. Melissa codling  June 1, 2017 at 4:58 pm Reply

    I lost my mum ,Nov 2016, then I lost my husband, April 2017, I still hadn’t dealt with losing mum when my husband died, it was only a couple of months short of our 20th wedding anniversary, my mum was 62, and my husband was only 46. they both died from cancer and they both had a short, harsh fight. I could get thru one of the other was here to support me, but losing both has ripped my heart out. The quotes on here have helped me many times. I would have done anything to keep either of them for just one more day, but that would have been so selfish because they needed to go and not be in pain, they’d suffered enough and I accept that now. I need to go on for my children, although it’s hard, that’s an understatement, I will go on for them. I will never, ever get over this hurt and feeling of loss, but in time I will learn to live with it, and maybe even smile again.xxx

    • Sherene Carpenter  September 4, 2017 at 10:23 pm Reply

      Oh Melissa, your story resonates so with me, but the other way around. I lost my beautiful husband of 21 years at 48 in Feb 2016 (suddenly and unexpectedly) and then my Dad 10 weeks later. I was reeling from one, and then the other and there have been so many times when I have wished for just one more day. 19 months later, it is different and you do become more functional, but it is still so very very difficult. I too have teenagers to take care of and they help you cope – more’s to the point – get through each day because you just have to for them. I am having a cryey day today and its days like this that I find this website so good in helping me to sort out and articulate the mess of my internal emotions and irrational thoughts. I am so lost and facing a future stolen without my husband, but there are good days – the kids and my dogs provide most of these – they make me smile. So I stick with them. Someone said to me in the early days to find something that makes you smile and stick with that until you are ready for the next thing. Its ok for the steps to be small. At the time I thought it was complete bollocks, but as the months have gone by it has turned out to be true. Take care.

  77. Wanda Gomez  May 13, 2017 at 4:26 am Reply

    My husband passed away on January 18, 2016 and then my Mom passed away on January 23, 2016. It has been a difficult journey. I was married for almost 39 years. It is rough when you need and want your Mom and she is not there. I’ve read several books on how to make sense of your grief but at times it just seems so unbearable because I fall backwards. It seems that you take a step forward but then two steps backwards. Want so much to dream with them but can’t seem to or don’t remember if I did. The loneliness at times is unbearable. I know I have to push forward but it is hard. My memories are what keeps me going.

    1
    • Sunny Aman  May 26, 2017 at 5:45 am Reply

      I’m sorry for your loss.. My condolence would never fill the gap occurred in your life. However, those whom we love and want so much to live by my side always can never be lost because they use to live in our hearts and they can never be separated from us until we loss ourself!

  78. Bill F  December 11, 2016 at 11:44 am Reply

    I happened upon this site while looking for some kind of inspiration to keep going on. I lost my wife of 12 years 6 years and 5 months ago. I go about my days and try to do the things she would have wanted me to do, but I feel like it’s pretty pointless and feel hollow inside. This grief bit isn’t for the weak at heart. The words of Keanu Reeves have helped me many times when I feel overwhelmed:
    “Grief changes shape, but it never ends.
    People have a misconception that you can deal with it and say, ‘It’s gone, and I’m better’.
    They’re wrong. When the people you love are gone, you’re alone.
    I miss being a part of their lives and them being part of mine.
    I wonder what the present would be like if they were here – what we might have done together.
    I miss all the great things that will never be,”

    I miss you D.

    3
    • Leslie  April 26, 2017 at 10:11 pm Reply

      You are right, Bill. I lost my husband last August. His absence from this world is almost incomprehensible. When someone so kind, so funny and so intelligent and loving is gone, there is no replacing them. I know that none of us are getting out alive, and this is the way of the world, but I feel so cheated, so bereft. I miss his presence enormously.

  79. Linda Banks  November 16, 2016 at 6:42 pm Reply

    My darling mom passed away 9 days ago and wondering how i can ever smile again. It is so hard to try and get on with your life.I am an adult have grown daughters of my own and trying to strong is so difficult. Mom is the first person to kiss you. I just miss her terribly.

  80. Jeanne Frye  September 30, 2016 at 3:05 pm Reply

    I am just a mom, just a mom who lost her son almost two years ago. He was only 30 when he passed over. My heart broke that day. I have never recovered. Oh, I get up every day. I go to work. I put on my make up. I talk to people. I smile. I tell everyone I am ok. I lie. I still cry everyday. I imagine I always will. I grieve deeply, because I loved him deeply. I just plain miss my boy. I look at the front door and just can not conceive of the fact that he won’t come bouncing through, “hey, mom!”….Never again? Really?
    So, I go about my day….I have good memories. I have my other son, Joe and my grand daughter and love them both of course. But one does not replace another. There is a hole in my heart. My son Ryan died of an overdose which makes it even harder to deal with, there is guilt, did I do enough, did I intervene quick enough……Our last time together he was best man at his brothers wedding. We had a great time! Exactly one month later he was gone. He had been clean and relapsed. I have learned a lot bout the disease of addiction since then. I wish I had done more, I know Ryan forgives, I know God forgives me. Not sure I will ever forgive myself. After all, I am just a mom….Take care all….Always and forever Ryan P Frye’s Mom! visit him at Ryan P Frye Virtual Memorial

    1
    • sandi  December 2, 2016 at 3:26 am Reply

      Hi Jeanne
      I know your pain; I lost my son almost two years ago, also. Unexpected; he was killed; we had to say a post-goodbye at a funeral home on Christmas Eve because the DIL……it – the loss of an adult child is so horrific; not only did we lose our son but we lost our friend, who had become our peer. I know your feelings of guilt; I have so many “if only, then maybe…” – and that’s hell. With the loss of my son went also a total loss of my belief system. But I guess there is some comfort, because I am no longer afraid of dying myself, just in case there is an After. I’ve lost friends because I don’t always handle my grief well; can’t always anticipate when its going to punch me between the eyes again. But your post has given me a comfort, knowing that another knows. Is that wierd? Its not meant mean. Anyway, thanks for your post; I get you.

      1
      • Sterling  November 11, 2018 at 10:28 am

        I lost my adult son 3 months ago. I don’t know if I will ever recover. It was tragic, unexpected, violent. I hate waking up to face another painfilled day. I’m tired of crying. I’m exhausted from hurting. I understand how you feel. The loss of a child is so unnatural, it goes against the way things are supposed to play out. It’s an unbearable pain. I go through the whole range of emotions everyday. Anger, hopelessness, numbness and always the pain…the pain. I feel for anyone who’s in this along with me, even though I don’t know you.

        1
    • Georgia Geisler  October 21, 2017 at 9:40 pm Reply

      My son was killed in a car accident on a country road, not striped, intense fog driving his 7 yr old to school. It took them 25 minutes to cut him out of the car. Miraculously our7 yr old grandson was very sore, had seat belt abrasions, and pain but after almost two days of tests and observations was sent home. My son died in the ambulance. I didn’t even get to tell him i love him. My grandson was brave but scared when Grandpa had to tell him his father was not able to survive the accident. He had just told me while I was rubbing his little hand that he was worried about his dad, and did I know where he was? It was arranged that my husband tell him with a child grief advocate there to help. It was so hard and heartbreaking. I also can’t remember ever lying to him before. The way his eyes looked into mine I feel like such a letdown to him because he had always been able to count on me before. He lived with daddy and visited mommy 1,000 miles away. His mom got there the same day and I knew although my son had just received papers she wa willing to let him have physical residence, after around 4 years beinh grandma/mom I not only lodt my son that day but our grandson would be miles away and our family would be limited on securing his welfare. But I know what you mean, I feel like I’m losing my mind knowing I’ll never see my son come through our door and head straight to the fridge, open and then close it almost immediately. Three or four times before he found what he wanted. It’s so unbelievable. I’m so grateful my grandson is OK and the 17 year old in the other car walked away. But I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. Nineteen years ago we lost another son in a horrific accident. He was my stepson, but I’d raised him since 18 months old. My sons already suffered that. Jason named his son after his brother Freddy. There were no steps in our family. They were brothers. Today is Jason’s birthday. My grandson’s was two days ago. I can’t accomplish anything it seems. I know I’m doing what has to be done, but I’ve got to take a day soon to just cry, and not stop until I’m out of breath.. I want him, I need him. He was d wonderful, he was a handful. He’s driven me crazy and filled me with pride and joy. My greatest regret is not praising him enough for being such a great single father. I’m not new to this. Nineteen years we buried Freddy and we have never really recovered. If I’m speaking to anyone who has lost a child no matter what age you know what I mean. I just don’t know if I can do it again. I’m almost 20 years older, already broken. But I will, I have no choice. His grown daughters do need me when they hurt. And I pray we will be allowed to have Freddy visit all of us here. It was his father’s mission in life he grow up here. He’s missed by everyone. He’s got to be cared for, be will know about his father. They lived together like two tight partners. I’ll have to be strong for my husband too. I just need to get month old thank you cards finished to our overwhelmingly loving community. Everyone loves Jason and Freddy. I’ll make it, I won’t let Jason down. I just need more than tears and breakdowns. I need to cry and son scream and pray. Thanks for listening.

      1
      • Sterling  November 11, 2018 at 10:40 am

        My grown son died 3 months ago, he would be 43 today. ‘They’ say the loss of a child is the greatest grief of all. ‘They’ are absolutely correct. I honestly don’t see how it’s possible to get over this level of pain. I’m just telling the truth as I see/feel it. It’s real, unfathomable, exhausting.

        1
    • Robin Coulson  April 30, 2019 at 10:30 am Reply

      Your story … is my story… and reading your words is like reading my mind. My son Dougie passed away 5 years ago. He was 28 years old. Those with him covered it up and dumped his body on the side of the road in the middle of February in the freezing cold. I spoke with him at least 3 times a day… he was Mamma’s boy… and for the first year I would watch my phone waiting for him to call. I have an older son whom I love with all my heart but nothing fills the void in my heart. I move through the days doing what I am “supposed to do” but after 5 years my friends and family no longer want to hear anything about my late son… I can no longer find the strength to educate them that it is my job to keep his memory alive….. to make them see that a mother’s greatest fear is that they will be forgotten. They talk about their living children, sharing stories so what is so wrong with me sharing one of our stories?… I have a few good friends who understand and love hearing Dougie stories… he was funny and rambunctious all through his life that there are so many stories to share. I feel angry at others obvious discomfort when I speak of my son so I now grow quiet and that isn’t good for them either b/c then I am quiet… so now I have learned to sit and listen with a smile as they chatter on about their children… Oh…. this has me venting and that is not what I started here to do. I read your heartbreak and wanted to let you know that it was very similar to my own and that you are not alone… I know how you feel…. I understand how you feel… and I am so very sorry for your sorrow. My heart taught my baby’s heart how to beat… it was in complete rythem of my own and when his stopped a piece of mine stopped with his and that piece hurts and pains me every minute of every day… a pain of which I have learned to bare alone. God Bless Bereaved Mothers.

      2
  81. Jude Hersey  September 4, 2016 at 8:00 pm Reply

    I lost my cherished husband May 30, 2016 after knowing each other for almost 60 years. That was still not enough time. He took a part of my heart with him and I hope it keeps him at peace finally. Cancer took him away…

  82. Clemberly  September 2, 2016 at 4:34 pm Reply

    Thanks for these quotes. I lost my father 3 weeks ago and I’m just starting to understand my grief and where it will take me…

  83. Cate M  August 12, 2016 at 11:30 pm Reply

    Dear bkb,
    I’m so saddened to hear of your husband cancer. I’m sure you’re daughter well always remember how much her daddy fought to stay with you both. Sorry on the loss of your dad and all the ways you wish it was different,

    1
  84. bkb  August 3, 2016 at 1:01 pm Reply

    Thank you for the quotes — My father died this morning and we were estranged on and off for years. He was not a nice person – to anyone and , as I explained to my 7 year old – he did not want to be a daddy. Which makes it harder since my husband has terminal cancer. Still grieving what I wished my father could have been and grieving in advance for my daughter who will lose her daddy in the near future. My father drank himself to death – and my husband is fighting every day to stay here…

  85. Rose  July 24, 2016 at 4:51 am Reply

    Thank you for the quotes. My husband died on May 27, 2016. I miss him so. We still made each other laugh after 16 plus years of marriage. We were often thinking about the same things. Even though he had ALS and we knew he did not have much time. His death was sudden. I felt like I was awake and in a nightmare. I was totally unprepared for his death. What brings me comfort is knowing I was able to care for him at home. He wanted to stay home. Knowing he is not suffering helps me get through the day. Knowing my husband would not want me to let my grief consume me helps and prayer throughout the day.

  86. peggy ruby edwards  June 25, 2016 at 8:45 pm Reply

    Cassie, I always thought we would get a few more vacations in before one of us had to go first. . I miss you every day, almost every minute. I had forgotten how much a person can cry. You were and always will be my most loved sister. I do know I’ll see you again, but how do I make it until then.? You are gone for now but not forever. I’ll see you again. Enjoy your blessed life living with our Jesus. Until then, I’ll do my best to enjoy the life I have here. We’ll have so much to talk about In Heaven. Can’t say anymore now because I can’t see the keyboard from crying
    .I love,love love you. “Iodine”

    • Litsa  June 25, 2016 at 11:10 pm Reply

      <3 Many good thoughts Peggy . . .

  87. Shubham Chaturvedi  June 18, 2016 at 5:52 pm Reply

    RIP Suraj. luv u. ? live forever in my heart my friend.

  88. Asare  May 20, 2016 at 7:05 am Reply

    Have lost a great Friend who is so dear to my heart,Henrietta Tetteh, I love you though we were not Kent to be together,but I know you are resting in the blossom of the Almighty God

  89. Kath  April 21, 2016 at 2:35 am Reply

    This is from MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING, by William Shakespeare …

    But there is no such man; for, brother, men
    Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief
    Which they themselves not feel; but, tasting it, 25
    Their counsel turns to passion, which before
    Would give preceptial medicine to rage,
    Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,
    Charm ache with air and agony with words.
    No, no; ’tis all men’s office to speak patience 30
    To those that wring under the load of sorrow,
    But no man’s virtue nor sufficiency
    To be so moral when he shall endure
    The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel:
    My griefs cry louder than advertisement. 35
    Ant. Therein do men from children nothing differ.
    Leon. I pray thee, peace! I will be flesh and blood;
    For there was never yet philosopher
    That could endure the toothache patiently,

  90. Kathryn  April 15, 2016 at 2:01 pm Reply

    My husband died very suddenly on our honeymoon 11 months ago We had both been married before but had been together for 19 years and our wedding was the happiest day of my life! He died 3 weeks and 1 day after our wedding and I miss him so much . It would have been our 1st anniversay in 2 weeks ! He was my rock and the love of my life and I so need him to help me deal with the pain. He always sorted everything !! I so believe that it is only people who have experienced this pain who can truly understand about the journey on the road we don’t want to be on to a place we don’t want to go ! I do get comfort from reading of others in the same position and I wish comfort and happiness eventually for the future to us all !

    • Munesh Chaudhary  December 29, 2018 at 8:51 am Reply

      So sorry dear
      ???

  91. N Augustin Susan  April 14, 2016 at 12:52 pm Reply

    I lost my mom 7 years ago.. guilt for everytime we argued and being selfish too.. guilt for not knowing how much she really loved me more than herself. Guilt for not doing anything when she was sad and lonely. Mom, I miss you so much and I’m sorry for not being a good girl for you..

    1
  92. Katy  February 10, 2016 at 2:40 pm Reply

    My grief is almost 4 months old and it still feels like yesterday. I have never known sadness like this. I lost the man I love. He came into my life 4 years after I separated from and divorced my husband of 32 years. He made me laugh! I couldn’t believe how good it felt to truly laugh with someone other than my friends, children and grandchildren. I miss him so much and I carry so much guilt. Guilt for not knowing he had heart problems, guilt for not being there when he died, guilt for every time we argued and I didn’t let it go. Guilt for not saying I love you the night before he died. I want that “one more day, one more conversation.” I begged for it and it didn’t happen. He didn’t come back. I love him and I miss him so much. The grief hurts so badly.

    • Marie  February 27, 2016 at 10:46 pm Reply

      I can so relate to you, Katy. I lost my Ben 6 months ago. We were both widowed and our first marriages were not very happy ones. Ben and I were together seven years and married four of those years. We were define soul mates. Thanks for sharing.

    • Las Fowler  November 30, 2016 at 8:03 pm Reply

      I was married to my wonderful husband for 53 years, he was such a caring man. We had one son & it has been one year now & it is so hard. Mom is in skilled nursing & I help her so much but totally miss my husband so much, make it through the days but evenings hurt so bad, I feel I have a hole in my heart.

      1
  93. Vicki  August 7, 2015 at 2:09 pm Reply

    I like what Stephen King said in his book ‘Revival.’ After the scene in which the reverend’s 6-y.o son gets hit by a car and dies. The reverend becomes livid with anger and delivers a sermon that offends people in the town.
    The main character’s father says to him “Reverend was right about one thing. People always want a reason for the bad things in life; sometimes there ain’t one.”
    My daughter’s dad was killed on September 11. I’ve wondered why it happened ever since it occurred. I’ve wondered everything imaginable and asked myself questions that would probably sound silly reproduced on paper or online. I just asked myself one today. People used to tell me it was “part of God’s Will” and other things. I won’t believe any of it since reading what Stephen King said: “People always want a reason for the bad things that happen; sometimes there ain’t one.”
    People may think that’s cold comfort but I find it more consoling to hear that than “it was God’s will.” That sounds and feels barbaric to me.

    1
    • Geeta  July 12, 2016 at 10:06 am Reply

      Superb

  94. Barb  July 12, 2015 at 2:20 pm Reply

    I too am crying, because so many of these are how I feel. It’s “only” been 10 months since I lost my husband, but the pain and loneliness are growing exponentially with each passing moment. Losing the only person that truly loved me has been difficult beyond measure. What I wouldn’t give for one more smile, one more hug, one more ” I love you more”.

    • H Lacey  May 11, 2016 at 6:34 pm Reply

      I can understand what you are saying as I too suddenly lost my husband September 4th 2015. My 4 children and I are going through hell. One of my 8 yr old sons found him. I find every single day like groundhog day. Gutted feeling all the time. We function but I am unable to enjoy anything.
      It certainly does matter what people say because some people think I am crying because I am a single parent now but that’s not it, it’s the fact that we loved each other and we didn’t choose to leave one another. Feel some people trivialise the children’s and my grief. Our hearts are broken…

  95. Doug Ebbert  March 24, 2015 at 8:18 pm Reply

    I always admired Thoreau’s comment,
    “On the death of a friend, we should consider that the fates through confidence have devolved on us the task of a double living, that we have henceforth to fulfill the promise of our friend’s life also, in our own, to the world.”

  96. Dee Randolph  February 11, 2015 at 11:33 am Reply

    Quotes are most helpful to the person responding to someone who is grieving (cards, remembrances), but as the person doing the greiving, they didn’t help me when I lost my child, parents, or spouse. The one person who could help me through grief was the one who was gone. How hard to loose one’s confidant.
    Grieving is such a personal space. What helps one may not help another. Sometimes silence and recogntion that grief is a very hard travail are better than any quote or words. Let the person who is grieving tell her story. The most comforting words anyone ever said to me were, “I know this is a hard time for you.”

    • Dianna  February 17, 2016 at 12:22 am Reply

      Thank you Dee Randolph. My beloved nephew died this week and the pain is very fresh. I feel grief but his father and mother have oceans upon oceans of grief. Thank you for sharing your story. I will keep your words in mind as we gather to mourn my nephew and comfort my brother and his family.

      • Arla  February 22, 2016 at 5:42 am

        I am so sorry for your loss. I found this page while looking for “the right words” as my beloved mother in law passed away yesterday morning.

      • Diwakar  December 4, 2018 at 12:39 pm

        R

    • Lajla Abrams  August 26, 2016 at 7:16 pm Reply

      19 years after losing my 2 youngest children through a family murder/extended suicid, I am able to read through these quotes with ease and find the one that best describes my situation. Khalil Gibran kind of says it all for me. I am so very sorry for your loss. I do hope that one day you will find comfort and strength through other people who have been through a similar loss. Grief has no end …. It changes over time but does not end. It is very difficult to accept but that’s the bottom line.

  97. Genevieve  February 10, 2015 at 5:32 pm Reply

    Thanks for these quotes – I’m crying now.
    I lost my husband from a mountain accident last May – he fell down a steep slope, in the snow. I met a nice man some time ago – he’s in love with me, I’m not sure if I’m ready yet. Last week he was holding me and I started crying. He told me “your tears are my tears”. I doubted he could understand me. Now reading the quote about “what separates us from the chaos is our ability to mourn people we’ve never met” I started crying again. I feel it’s spot-on, I feel I should start trusting him. My pain is so deep, can it be shared by somebody who never met my husband?
    Thanks so much for your posts.
    Genevieve

    • Holly  February 23, 2016 at 10:33 pm Reply

      Hello I read your post and it touched me. I volunteer at a bereavement center, and I have have worked with a widows group, the one thing they all had in common was they felt like they were cursed. What you are feeling is the grieving process and you should never deny yourself any part of the process. It sounds like you have found yourself a good man. Try not to look at it as replacing your husband but more like another chapter in your life. You have plenty of room in your heart to love the one you lost and the one you found. Try to find yourself a new normal, keep your husband in your heart and trust that he would want you to be happy, and don’t rush the grieving process. God bless…….

    • Tayler  August 20, 2016 at 7:36 pm Reply

      I am so sorry for your loss, your post actually made me cry more than these quotes did, I hope you could open your heart to the man you referred to in your post. I am starting to understand loss but only slowly, my father is dying, last he had heard his doctor said his kidneys were only at seven percent function, if I were older I could donate my kidney and help. I was writing my college essay about maturity and how loss contributes to it and looking up quotes for it, I probably won’t use any of these, but thank you for your post, it helped me see that grief may always be present in a persons heart but it doesn’t have to be the only feeling. I am so sorry for what happened to your husband, thank you for being brave enough to share your story.

      • Genevieve  August 23, 2016 at 1:38 pm

        Thank you for your post on my post… Two years after my husband’s accident I am still on my way, with ups and downs. The man I was referring to is still around and still in love with me but I am not fully ready yet, still need a lot of time on my own or with friends, trying to sort my internal mess out. Yes lots of feelings can co-exist, some time I even feel I am just free! Then the loneliness and sadness reappear. I learned a lot during this process, I learned we are all grievers and all coping. I learned to catch any ray of light.
        I wish Peace to you and your father.

      • Fina Iudici  June 6, 2019 at 1:04 am

        May God show you the light in strength to carry on with memories that make you smile

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