Memorials Large and Small: Real People Remembering Loved Ones

Though the pain of loss seems impossible, people somehow manage to use their memories and their grief to create astounding things, large and small.  When thinking about the ways you honor and remember your loved one, you may be someone who stays in small, private, ways. But if you are looking for bigger ways, we think that seeing what others have done can serve as inspiration (even if their projects are bigger than you might take on!). So we're sharing some unique ways that real people are remembering someone who has died.

Wonderland

The Lavender Princess by Kirsty Mitchell

Some people decide to remember their loved one in small ways and some in large ways.  And then there are people like Kirsty Mitchell, who start with a small idea that turns into something massive.  Kirsty lost her mom, Maureen, in 2008.  Maureen was an English teacher who, appropriately, could always be found with a book. 

The summer after her mom’s death Kirsty merged the fairy tales her mother read to her with her background in photography, fashion design, and costume design.  She decided to do a couple of photo shoots to honor her mom’s memory.  It is hard to put into words what Kirsty’s project has become, so I suggest you visit her site and spend some time getting lost in the world she has created.  

Wonderland is truly awe-inspiring and, more than three years later, it continues to grow.  Kirsty describes her project saying, “it is true to say that in losing my mother I lost so much, but equally this new unexpected path has changed my life forever.  So, no matter how sad the origins are, I am so very grateful for what has happened, and the precious friends I have gained.  At present I still don’t know what the future holds, but the day I see my mother’s name printed on the inside cover of the Wonderland book,... it will feel like I have finally fulfilled my promise to myself…and her precious memory. I miss her so much …”.  Check out Wonderland on her website here.

Beyond Goodbye

The first memorial so many of us create for the person we have lost is a funeral service.  During the worst week of our lives, when we can barely think straight, we are asked to plan an event that will do justice to the life of the person we have lost.  It just seems wrong - an impossible task at an impossible time. That is what makes Beyond Goodbye all the more incredible. 

This film gives a glimpse into the life of Josh, a 22 year old whose family began their powerful tribute to him with his funeral service and have continued it through their film and website.  The website allows people to hold on to Josh’s memory by submitting music that reminds them of him.  It links to a “postcards to Josh” site on which friends and family can send postcards to Josh.  And the film . . . the film you just have to watch.  You can check the website out here.

Beyond Differences

So often when we lose someone we hold on to the incredible qualities and values they embodied; those things become even more important to us.  We strive to exemplify  those values in our own lives and we hope to share those qualities with others. 

Beyond Differences raises awareness around social isolation in middle school students.  Founded in memory of Lili Rachel Smith, who died at age 15 of complications from Apert Syndrome, Beyond Differences champions values that were part of Lili's life.  As their website explains, “Lili wasn’t bullied or teased, but was often treated as if she were invisible”.  She successfully overcame social isolation by the time she entered high school. 

Her family started Beyond Difference to allow Lili’s story to “serve as a guiding light for other children, adolescents and families”.   In honor of Lili, their organization “trains and empowers teens to lead​ the movement to create an inclusive middle school culture”.  One look at their site and you will get a glimpse of the amazing person Lili was and the way her strength continues to shape the world through Beyond Differences. Visit their site here.

Dear Photograph

Dear Photograph is a site worth checking out.  Grieving or not, it is a really cool concept.  The site’s subtitle pretty much sums it up: “take a picture of a picture, from the past, in the present”.   Some of the photos mourn loss, some celebrate change, and all remind us just how much the past and the present are deeply intertwined.  One of these days I will do this (and maybe I will even blog about it . . .).  In the meantime check out the amazing ways people are remembering those they have lost on the site.  

Dear Photograph,

You were taken one month before these two love birds were married. He was a decorated World War ll Veteran and she was a wonderful mother to his nine wonderful children. If they’d been given just a few more moments to spend being wrapped up in each other’s arms, they would’ve celebrated sixty-six years of marriage this year. Still, every night before she falls asleep, she whispers “I love you”…to the empty space next to her in bed.

Their loving grandchild,

Colleen

Checking out these amazing tributes is one of our favorite pastimes, so please leave a comment if have a memorial you want to share or one that has inspired you.

For more tips on memorializing loved ones, check out the following articles:

• Four Easy, Last-Minute Ideas For Memorializing Loved Ones This Holiday
• Creating a Memorial Quilt
• Grief and Memorial Murals

We invite you to share your experiences, questions, and resource suggestions with the WYG community in the discussion section below.