Litsa and I have been promising a forgiveness post for months now. No one has specifically asked for this particular topic, but we’ve covered anger, guilt, regret, and making amends; forgiveness just seems like the logical next step. Over the last few weeks we wrote about forgiveness…and then rewrote…and then turned the writing into two separate posts…and yet we’re still not happy. It’s a big topic.
The connection between forgiveness and grief may not seem that intuitive, but anyone who’s dealt with guilt, regret, stigma, anger, self-absorption, family conflict, or a general pissed-off-ness at the world should understand. We all need a little forgiveness, the kind of forgiveness depends on our situation. Perhaps it’s forgiveness for ourselves, for our deceased loved one(s), for our family and friends, for our God, or for circumstances we can’t change.
Sometimes when we feel so mad, so unable to trust, so worthless and dejected, so ashamed, so angry at ourselves, so angry at our loved ones and their stupid mistakes, so mad at people who say stupid things and don’t understand, so abandoned by the people and things that were supposed to protect us and keep us safe, forgiveness can be hard to find. I know some things will always seem unforgivable, but carrying around the stress of anger and resentment only enables those things to hurt you further.
So this may not be a full-length post on forgiveness (we promise that’s still to come), but in the meantime here are a few thoughts on individual worth and forgiveness. I’m sure you can think of a few scenarios where some of these ideas don’t seem true, but when searching for the grace to forgive it doesn’t hurt to consider their plausibility.